Being an introvert has its financial advantage (to bring this around to money): I don’t feel the need to spend time with others, so I never need to entertain or spend money to go out. This is not to say that I don’t do these things; it just means that I do it rarely enough to spend far less than someone who needs to be social.

@chacha1-If John and Meagan are introverts (and I apologize if my assumption is incorrect), they may simply not feel the need to go out and find friends. Given that only about 10% of the population are introverts, it is not surprising that the other 90% do not understand us. Heck, I hardly understand myself, except to know that the amount of time I need to spend alone would drive most people batty!

One really important thing is to keep making new connections and be open to meeting new people. I’m not saying leave the old ones behind, but do understand people have to evolve as well and they may not be part of your life as you were accustomed to. Close and supportive friendships are hard to come by and they don’t always last, it’s important to understand that and not feel that it is their intention to hurt you by drifting away over time.

I think I read in one of those “You’re broke because you want to be” Larry Winget type books that your 5 closest friends average out to your income, and my income is about twice the average income of my closest friend.

I also have friends of all different backgrounds, education levels, and living situations (married, single, living togethers).

I made my friends in highschool or while I was in university, and I’m now in my 30s. The people have all grown up in different ways, but we’re all still close friends. I continue to add to my friends but my closest ones don’t change because they get rich or poor or married or become frugal.

*But* I have seen people having kids suddenly drop off the face of the earth (understandably). I think that’s probably the biggest factor…which I know is a hot button issue around here. None of my close friends have had kids yet, thankfully.

From the comments, I see that I am not alone, this is a comforting tought!

My husband and I don’t have children and are still deciding whether we want to eventually. We’ve recently made friends with several people who do have children, and one couple we’ve been friends with for a long time now has a baby. And yeah, kids change things. Our friends with kids are less available for social stuff, or they bring the kids. Bringing the kids works for the most part, although the couple who lets their kid completely run wild doesn’t get a lot of invitations. The kid talk really hasn’t been an issue. If they’re not offended by having a conversation about a class I’m really enjoying (and another that I’m not), then I’m not offended by having a conversation about what’s going on in their lives.

One of the important things my husband and I have in common with our friends is a laid back, live-and-let-live attitude. It makes our differences easier to deal with.

Of course, they were all still in high school, so it’s no surprise. I have very, very few friends now becasue everyone I know either has children or goes to church all the time – neither of which are activities I particularly enjoy…

But the one thing they all have in common is a lack of young children. In the one case where our friend does have children, the kids are old enough that they play the games with us.

Two of our best friends were a married couple the same age and income level as my wife and I. They even had similar spending patterns. We were very close, until they started having kids. Then they moved away, to be closer to their own family (for help with raising the kids). We grew apart and talked less and less. When we did talk, it was almost always about their kids.

I think you can have friends with different outlooks on money. But unless you have kids yourself, young children drive an enormous wedge between friendships.

But then again, what do I know. I’m just a candle in the wind.

I’ve always been one to care more about creating memories over spending tons of money to make myself happy. Excellent post once again Trent- you give people food for thought as you are looking at events that occur in your own life.

No one besides us in our closest circle of friends has any children. Since we’re the only parents in the group, we rarely talk about parenting issues, and our friends actually love playing with the kids because they don’t have kids of their own and we don’t overwhelm them with “kid talk.” We’ve actually been asked unprompted when our kids will be up from their naps because our friends want to see them or play with them.

Diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks.

This reminds me of a great line in a short story I read a few years ago, by a single character talking about all of her married friends with children: “They don’t need friends anymore. They make their own.”

Only caveat is that SOME public schoolteachers did seem to take what we were doing as an affront to them personally. But not all – one of my best friends is the principal the the elementary school my kids would go to!

It is hard to give up old relationships, even when you know they aren’t working for you, but when you see the power of hanging out with people who share your interests and genuinely want you to live the life of your dreams, well, it is hard to beat it.

So here’s to friends who also save money, like to take walks instead of go to the mall, and enjoy a potluck as much as a dinner at a fancy restaurant.