it’s all to do w/ his dad- i really have nothing to do w/ it. i’ll ask my son who’s handling his money, but it’s in a trust his grandfather set up for him, like he did for all of the grandchildren.

as far as work goes, i don’t think my son gets actual paychecks- he used to get cash at his aunt’s restaurant, and i think it’s the same set up at his dad’s. but you’re right about tax returns- i think this year he will have to file one for sure.

my former father in law was very good w/ his money- he had no illusions about his youngest son, and i’m sure he’s set up his grandson’s trust in a way that would protect the money from his son. you’re right though- i’ll talk to my son though and try to get some info about how the trust is set up, and who he’s talking to about the investments. i’ll make sure it’s legitimate, and not some shady friend of his dad’s.

One of the best things I did with my kids was sit down and go through the bills with them. They truly had no idea how much things cost, how much money we had or didn’t have and what we were doing with it. They never asked why we weren’t going to Disneyworld for spring break ever again. Just be sure they are old enough to have verbal discretion otherwise the entire neighborhood will know your checkbook balance.

I also got a credit card as a teen; my mom added me on hers. It was a great opportunity to learn about debt, how they work, etc. I’ve never taken credit cards for granted, because we all had to pay my mom back for whatever we’d charged at the end of the month, so we had to know that we had enough money for whatever we were charging.

The key, in my mind, isn’t how you run the little details. But we all need to be transparent about money with our kids. If you never talk about money topics, kids won’t learn about it. But if you discuss money, where it comes from, and how it can be used with kids, they’ll have a better idea of how they want to manage money as adults.

Don’t tie a basic allowance to specific chores. A basic, small allowance should be given without strings attached. It’s not a tool to leverage for good behavior, it’s a tool to teach basic money management. There should be certain behaviors expected in the home, but the allowance should not be a bludgeoning tool to force those behaviors.

As the mother of two teenage girls (16 and 14), allowance at our house does come with strings. Bad attitudes and refusal to help around the house are grounds for revocation and this was set out in advance. I do it this way because in the real world, if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. If you have a bad attitude, you are the first to go. I think these life lessons are every bit as important.

The other thing I tie to the allowance is the stipulation that if my teens want to do fun stuff (movies, etc), this comes out of their allowance. Period. I am not ‘Mom, the human ATM’ and the sooner they learn that you need to live within your means, the better.

So yes, there are strings at my house where there weren’t when they were younger but I think it’s crucial at this age to teach these lessons. :)

My son turns three in a month and while not pressured at all about money or the not so fun side of it, he does know what it is, he does know we have a finite amount of it, he does have his own, and he already thinks well before deciding on how to spend it.

I would say to start early, but also start slow.

i have five kids all together, but two are adult stepsons who were raised mostly by their mom. i have two young girls, ages 4 and 6.

but my son just turned 16, and he seems to be very good w/ his money.

anyway, when he was very little, i gave him an allowance- $1 per year of age. so when he was 3 he got $3 per week, when he was 4 he got $4 a week, and it went up $1 per year.

his dad and i separated when our son was only 7 months old, and divorced when he was 2. we lived VERY modestly- sometimes in studio apartments- not even in a one bedroom. and i only took jobs i could bring him along to, so these weren’t high paying jobs. his dad paid little child support. a few years later, his dad, w/ the help of one of his brothers, bought me and my son a small condo to live in, in lieu of paying child support. my ex husband owned it- not me.

anyway, it might seem counterintuitive for a mom w/ almost no money to give a substantial allowance, but i had to say no to almost every request, all of the time. i could only buy gas at the gas station- no candy. and vending machine snacks were a very rare treat. and toys? those were almost always a gift from someone else, or bought for cheap at a thrift shop or tag sale.

anyway, my son was able to save up his own $ to buy things he wanted/needed, and i didn’t have to feel guilty about always saying “no.”

even in the grocery store, if he wanted an ice cream or something that wasn’t on sale, he could have it, if he paid me the difference between the sale price i was willing to pay and the price of what he wanted. i got a lot of strange looks from people when my son and i were shopping. i really did.

he’s been working since he was 13, first in his aunt’s restaurant, and now in one his dad bought. on top of this he buys guitars, modifies them, and sells them.

and recently he inherited money from his dad’s dad. i’m out of the loop on the details, and i’m on barely speaking terms w/ his dad, who STILL has to be forced to pay child support. last year the state intercepted his tax return he was so far behind. he’s a bit of a brat.

anyway, i think my exhusband will blow through his inheritance any day now, but i think my son will be a good steward of his.

one thing i’m very happy about is my son is making sure none of his money is invested w/ companies he thinks are unethical. i try to stay out of it since the money is from the other side of the family, and it’s my son’s money- not mine. but i won’t buy from companies i think are wrong. like coca cola is terrible in colombia- they are doing absolutely nothing about the bottling company owners who have labor organizers down there murdered. so i won’t buy coca cola.

my son told his financial adviser he wanted out of coca cola and nike. and he told me this when i was telling him there are mutual funds which invest only in ethically run companies, if he wanted to do something like that w/ his money. then he told me about donating a portion of his $ to human rights watch.

my son doesn’t attend church anymore, but when he was young he tithed faithfully. and when he was little i had an extra $20 i gave him to give to the salvation army bell ringers- he gave it out to different bell ringers- he didn’t want to give it all at the same time- he liked being able to ring the bell, so he spread out his gifts.

anyway, he’s always been generous, and i’m so happy he feels the need to give away some of his $.

he’ll be able to pay for college w/ his grandfather’s money, and i’m hoping he tries to preserve the principal. we’ve talked about how some people in his situation could just blow throw all of the money and then some. i’m really hopeful though.

and i’ve warned him that his dad is probably going to try and get access to his good credit, even if he doesn’t try to go after his money. his dad is terrible w/ money- no matter how much he earns, it’s never enough. and when we married i went from having excellent credit to having very bad credit in a short time. i went into the marriage w/ savings, a 401k, and stocks. a few years later it was gone and we had nothing to show for it. it was sad. and he’s still like that.

i don’t know how my son will ultimately handle money, but so far he doesn’t seem to be anything like his dad. i guess what i think really worked for my son was having an allowance he could do something w/. and since we were together so much of the time, he had a really good look at how money got spent and pennies got pinched.

On top of that I think money for extra chores is okay, but be careful about that. As soon as the kids start earning money in the economy, they may decide that you’re not paying them enough and decide not to work for you, so make sure that “extra” really is “extra”. If you have a side-business where you could hire them, this would be optimal.

In terms of budgeting, try this one. Give them 100% and then immediately take 25% back saying it’s tax for the government. Listen to the howl :-D .. that’ll definitely teach them something.

I don’t think donations should be forced, but I don’t think taxes should be forced either, so …

Anyway, I prefer the invest 50%/spend 50% budget. If they want to spend on charity, I have no problem with that. If they want to save the spending money for something bigger, that’s fine too. If adults kept to that budget they could all become FI within 12 years or so.

I do agree – show the kids early. That got me thinking, if the parents had to own up to their kids about their financial accomplishments or NOT, maybe many of the parents would straighten out their ‘mess’

Just a thought!

I grew up in a family that was extremely frugal. My parents tithed 10% and lived very modestly. They paid off their home very early and now have plenty in their retirement. I have done a pretty good job with money, and my brother appears to be in good shape. My older sister, however, is a total mess. It will be a miracle if she doesn’t go through foreclosure or bankruptcy in the next few years. And college fund for her children? Forget it! It’s hard for me to believe we grew up in the same household. I guess what I’m trying to say is that your best laid plans are only part of the story. For reasons that might mystify you someday in light of the way you raised them, one of yours might become a spendthrift or whatever. There’s only so much control you have over people, even if they share your DNA.

Yes, seeing them has given me the same ambition. I have a world of opportunities that they did not have. And even though my parents are also very frugal, and probably not going to run out of money either, I still am going to dedicate a portion of my salary to them when I graduate.

I got my first credit card and debit card when I was 16 and going on a school trip to France. I don’t remember what my limit was, but I do remember prefering the credit card, but I didn’t do anything over the top with it. The card was then paid off with the money I had saved. The card was put away when I returned home and was not returned to me until I went to college.

I generally had babysitting-type jobs when I was in middle to high school. After graduation (and just about every summer of college) I got a job on a fish processing boat and made a few grand. That was spending money to get through the school year so that I could focus on school. My parents helped me with what financial aid wouldn’t cover.

Currently I (almost 29 yrs) have a 9-10 month emergency fund/down payment saving, live on my own (pay my own rent/utilities/groceries/car), nearly paid off my car, etc.

my sister (26 yrs) has had just about all the same opportunities and is still living at home with my mother, spending money as she pleases (movies, dvds, video games). She only recently had the personal epiphany that she will have to save money if she ever wants to move out and be on her own.

Technically we were both a bit (or alot) spoiled, but I came out understanding money and she didn’t.

To summarize: different people can learn different things from the same lesson.

You have to try and find the lesson that helps your kid or each of your kids to become a financially responsible adult(s). It is certainly not one size fits all.