John DeFlumeri Jr

Some of the people I get along with very well are the complete opposite of me on politics and religion.

I am very frugal in certain aspects of my life, and I budget myself so I am able to spend $200 on a night out if I feel like it. The people I go out with only see the big spender part of me, and realize this is not an every night type of thing and I don’t eat out 3 meals a day like they do. They rather spend a certain amount everyday and I’d rather go all-out every once in a while.

We don’t give eat other crap about our way of living our lives. We are who we want to be, and are not influenced by the peer pressure exerted by each other. If you are easily swayed by who you’re with, then that means you’re uncomfortable with yourself and who you are.

If the Hawthorne Effect affects you so much, then it’s not who you are, it’s who you are pretending to be.

I’m not saying I myself am impervious, but the reason for doing things shouldn’t be so shallow.

Where did I read that before????

Of course, I also tend not to lounge around the house in sweats either. I’m proud of the fact that I am comfortable in my own skin and am not insecure about my decisions in life.

Is it true that different people bring out different sides of a person’s character? Sure, I suppose it is true but is it because that person influences you or compliments that specific nature of your personality? Some people are naturally optimistic & bring out that side of a person or there are those who have a consistently negative attitude and bring out the pessimist in a person.

I try to hold myself to a consistent standard at all times, regardless of whom is in my company or might be watching. I tend to be my own harshest critic.

Its still an interesting concept, and maybe its influence may not be so pronounced in my own life though it may not be so pervasive or obvious as the examples you noted.

I have a good friend whom I love dearly, but I hardly dare go shopping with her because she constantly urges me to try things on and buy things, basically because she wants to see me in them! And she never buys anything for herself!

Where the “Hawthorne effect” (where does the name come from, anyway? have to look that up) really works for me is that, in my consciousness of being observed, I become more mindful of little habits, like fiddling with my hair or sitting at an angle in my desk chair, that are either probably annoying for others, or bad for me.

As a dancer, I work hard to present myself in such a way that people are not surprised to learn that I dance … if you know what I mean!

When it comes to shopping, I’m normally the one observing. I really don’t go shopping with people much, and I would hardly feel the need to buy anything to impress anyone. I’m being serious here, too. Now, if I were out *looking* for something specific, I’d ask for opinions…. But still, it’s my call and I would never do it just to impress someone. (Who, if they’re my friend, shouldn’t need impressing anyhow.)

If I really feel the need to justify my spending, or lack of, to anyone, I’d only share my greater goals with them. I’d be more impressed by someone who told me, “Well, I like the more expensive widget, but I’m going to go with the cheaper one instead. There isn’t much of a difference in how they function, but the money I save will help me get closer to that vacation I was planning.” Maybe “impress” wouldn’t be as good of a word so much as “increased respect” in this regard.

There’s a reason we are friends with them, and if we are concerned that we will spend too much money we they are around, we need to man up and get smarter. Dumping certain friends because we have some differences is not the answer.