64 comments, and nobody mentioned having the kid get a job? Is this what we look forward in the next generation?

I certainly didn’t have anyone buying my clothes when I was a teenager. The idea of Mom & Dad paying for my clothes embarrassed me greatly.

And for Amy (post #54), not all teenagers have tons of free time. Given a choice, would you have your child give up AP classes, the debate team, the school play, working on the yearbook or playing a sport in order to spend their afternoons shopping? Schoolwork and activities are what will help them get into college (and get scholarships), find their passions, learn to work with others, and many other important things. Yes, sometimes the reality is that kids need to get jobs, which do teach them important lessons, but many teenagers aren’t sitting around playing video games or hanging out at the mall all day.

Wow, when I was a kid (and it wasn’t SO long ago) we got a couple of things for back to school and a couple of things for birthdays and Christmas. New clothes “just because” absolutely did not exist EVER let alone every month.

I’m an adult making a decent living now and I buy myself clothes roughly once per year and only because that’s about the length of time I can get out of a pair of work-suitable pants before I’m forced to replace them.

Thanks, John DeFlumeri Jr

I second having them design clothes. But if you are not careful that can get pricey too. Will fit their body better then something off the rack.

I realize that I’m way out of touch with what normal people spend on clothes. If $40/month a normal amount for a clothing budget?

I remember a coworker telling me that she would get boxes from the expensive stores and then buy clothing at the cheaper stores. While I don’t think it’s a great idea because she’s lying plus it doesn’t teach the kids anything, still, it was rather innovative. Maybe she was trying to let the kids down gently because her husband had been a high-powered executive before he was laid off.

I grew up in a very frugal household, but my mother did understand how tough it is to be a teenage girl – the constant messages that your worth as a person is tied to your appearances, the insecurities, the difficulties of dealing with a changing body, dating for the first time…

One thing that she did for me, which I’m sure some people here are going to see as the height of crazy consumerism is arrange for me to have a session with a fashion consultant. It was a small group session, so while I’m sure it wasn’t totally cheap it probably also wasn’t ridiculous, and the consultant helped me figure out what styles and colors would look most flattering on me.

As a result I started to understand that it made more sense to spend money on some nicer pieces that looked really fantastic on me, but that the brand name wasn’t as important as the style flattering me.

The other point I think is important to make is that teenagers don’t have much money, but they do have lots of time, and if you’re willing to take the time to pick through the sale racks, and keep coming back to find the deals, you can find high-quality clothes cheaper than anywhere except a thrift store. So if she wants to put that time in, she can probably find the labels she wants without spending tremendous amounts of money. Maybe you can drop her off at the mall, and she can put on hold anything she wants to buy for you to finally approve?

Oh, and finally, if you want to buy a few full-price pieces for her as gifts, I’d focus on relative basics from the names she likes that will stay in for several seasons. For super-trendy things, it’s not that tough to find cheap knockoffs. They’ll last for three washings, but they’ll be out of style by then anyways.

Only a very small minority of parents buy their kids everything, or nothing that they want. They are extremes and I have yet to meet a single one.

I don’t have teenagers yet and like Johanna, brands were unimportant to me growing up. But I have friends who suffered immense peer pressure and to whom specific brand named clothing was incredibly important for their self esteem. As adults, they still have a real issue with being bought supermarket jeans instead of Levis for example – and are now going the other way with their own kids!

Part of being a parent is to realise what you’re dealing with. Our responses should be individual to our own circumstances and family or child. Who cares if other people wear expensive clothes. They usually look a lot nicer than cheap ones ;)

As long as we give our children the opportunities to satisfy whatever needs they have (or the most important ones), it doesn’t really matter how they are satisfied. For instance, I know some families who do not allow their children to work because they go to expensive academic schools and grades are the primary concern – no time for (low paid) work. If that was my parenting stance, I think it is only fair that those children do not miss out on SOME things due to lack of income. Only a cruel parent would insist of having it both ways.

Personally we’ll deal with this using an allowance and gift opportunities such as Christmas. They can also get a very part time job. It shouldn’t be a huge battle.

When my eldest was about 7, she learnt that I am not wasting money on clothes that she doesn’t wear. I had to tell her that I didn’t mind whether she liked something I liked or not, but whatever we bought needed to be worn. So I wouldn’t waste money on 20 items of cheap clothing if they would rather wear 2 more expensive items. People can manage on very few clothes. I am in my 30’s but can still vaguely recall having 3 outfits: one on, one in the wash and one in the wardrobe as a young child.

Teenagers need to have a say in what they wear. It’s all part of growing up. If we want them to behave like adults, we need to treat them like one and vice versa.