We blew a lot of money when our first daughter was born — my husband was completely against our baby potentially sharing our bed, so we bought an expensive crib (I also sewed all the bedding for it); alas, our child never spent a night in it but it was great for holding laundry that we washed and did not have time to fold. Our babies slept in our bed and that worked for us, but if you are not sure what you might do, I recommend find the crib you like before the baby is born, but waiting to buy it because a little baby will probably sleep with you or be in a bassinet near you. You can always get it later if that is what works for you.

Also, if at all possible, breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed; you save money on formula, bottles, etc. But also you will save money on doctor’s bills because breastfeed babies are much healthier while there are nursing and the health benefits of breastfeeding continue throughout life. Breastfeeding also protects and benefits the mother, too.

I really feel strongly about a parent or family member staying home with the children; it saves money in many ways, one way being that children in daycare are more likely to get ill as they are exposed to a lot more illnesses. Two books that I found helpful are “Miserly Moms” by Jonni McCoy and “Stay Home Instead” (sorry, don’t have the author to that one).

I took almost everything people offered, with the exception of highchairs and full size swings, as we have no room for them. I had not sold the crib or changing table, as the people on craigslist kept offering far too little. We’ve also been gifted with boxes upon boxes of diapers from church family. I do have some cloth, but at this time, I have not attempted to keep up with both of them in cloth. As they get older and more predictable, then I’ll likely use cloth on the weekends.

So while our home is now very cramped, we are a happy family of 6. We have one tiny portable swing handed down, the boys shared the cradle in the beginning and now share a crib. 85% of their clothes are hand-me-downs, 14.9% are new gifts, and I spent $7 buying pants that would fit them as they were born premature. I can’t imagine life not having turned out this way, and am thankful we made this work financially.

Maybe it’s time to visit family planning too; 4 kids in one 11×11 room would be very cramped (& expensive)? ;)

On co-sleeping-I did both, sort of. At bedtime, I would put my baby down in the bassinet (really a pram that has been handed around my family since 1977-my kids used it in 1997 and 2003) that stayed in my room. Then when she woke in the middle of the night I would bring her into bed with me for breastfeeding, etc. If I woke up and she was sleeping, I’d put her back int he bassinet, if not she’d stay in the bed with me. This way, she got used to sleeping on her own (always put the baby down drowsy but awake) but my sleep disturbance would be minimal. Once sleeping through the night, she was moved to the crib in her room. Both my kids slept through the night at 6weeks, with occasional exceptions when sick. They also have always been good about going to bed with minimal routine. Maybe one book, but sometimes just bedtime-hug and kiss-and off they go to bed all on there own since toddlerhood.

Daycare-I have also done both. When I first married (already had first kid-very young) we were definitely low income. We couldn’t afford daycare with me working or for me not to work. So we did the opposite shift thing. It SUCKS!!!! I did that for four years and again for the last three. It is especially bad when the oldest is in school because the night shifter almost never gets to see that one. And never gets to see the spouse. I tried staying home, but couldn’t afford that either. Yes after daycare my income was much much less, but I had health insurance for the kids and grocery money, which is important. And we live very frugally.

Daycare cost-yes if you figure $900 per month that is not much pay, but as someone pointed out, that is $900 per month for three children per worker. And as the child gets older the cost drops somewhat but the child :teacher ratio rises dramatically. $750 per month for a preschooler with a 9:1 ratio. That works out to about $40 per hour.

We save money on day care by having a very kind and generous Grandma who watches our 3 year old while my husband and I work. If we were paying day care costs, we’d be in a world of hurt. MiMi gets plenty of grandma time and I know I am leaving my daughter in a safe and loving place. I also know not everybody has this option available…I’m very lucky.

Also lucky…we nursed until I had to go back to work, but then had to transition to formula. My mom worked for the company that makes Similac, so we went to the company store and bought about 5 cases at less than half price.

If you don’t have friends that share the baby clothes, hit the garage sales hard! I got a $100 changing table for $20 (it just needed a new coat of paint) and tons of name brand clothes for a quarter or less.

I agree that it is a big country, and that we don’t have to worry about space now, or for a long time. However, it is better to not fell trees, transport diapers in plastic (oil-based) packaging when we can make a one-time purchase of cloth diapers and wash them in water that gets cleaned by the city’s water plant.

@ Dan, #45: In my experience, using a combination of BumGenius 3.0′s, prefolds (old-fashioned) and fitted’s with covers (old-fashioned, cut like undies with snaps), we have had maybe 10 leaks in 16 months. We also do not have to shop around for good prices on diapers, which saves time. Finally, because we store our diapers in two bins: 1. for pee-pee diapers, in Wolfie’s room and 2. for rinsed off poop diapers, in a bucket, in a cabinet, under the sink, we don’t really have a diaper stink problem. My sister used dispoables for both kids, and still for the younger one at night, and even with just a few diapers a week in the pail, the kids room smells like diapers. I think cloth doesn’t have this problem as much because you wash cloth diapers every 2-3 days with a 24-36 diaper supply, and they don’t have time to fester. Disposables are stinkier because they can gather for a week, and because most people don’t actually shake the poops into the toilet before disposing (the way you are legally obliged to–it’s generally illegal to put fecal matter into the garbage because it seeps into the ground water). Another reason why landfills are not the answer.

If they both absolutely need to earn money, they would be better off working different shifts so one parent is always home, or figuring out a way for the stay-at-home spouse to earn income from home.

Having said that, I know plenty of low-income families who are able to get by on one income with no government assistance. It can be done.

@Joanna
I wasn’t aiming the Walmart comment at you – just speaking generally :)

We had a queen sized bed as a guest bed prior to our first born. It only made sense to use it as a kid bed after the crib because; we already had it, and because the “guest” room was going to be his room anyhow. To combat the “height” issue, we just put down a rug and laid the mattresses directly on the floor. We also found a rail that slips under the matress for $1.50 at a garage sale. We covered the matress with a vinyl sheet. We are also saving because all the old queen sized sheets still fit and can be used.

On daipers,

We’ve been able to find deals just about everywhere. I think we average about $.15 per diaper…I’m not sure the cost of cloth, but considering the initial investment, time to clean, smell, and chances of leaks…I’m sure $.15 might start to sound like a deal…no?

On breastfeeding:

YES YES YES….and guys, make sure you take a lactation class with your wives prior to the first born, be there to support them with ALL your wife’s needs. Afterall, that’s a TON of money to be saved!

On hand-me-downs:

I’m 100% for that….my wife and I differ on this occasionally, but I always say, “what does a 3yr old need to know about style?”

I sleep with my kids, and I LOVE it. I would much rather sleep with my kids and deal with a little rolling around than sleep with my husband who bounces and rolls worse than the kids and snores like a jackhammer.

I am a SAHM, but my cousin just started having kids and she works. Right now, her child is in an excellent daycare, but she thinks that when they have another, they will probably switch to a nanny, probably live in, because that will be less expensive. If they have twins, then a nanny definitely ends up the more affordable choice.

We never used toddler beds. The bottom bunk of most bunk beds are usually significantly lower to the floor than standard twin sized beds. One side of the bed goes against a wall, the other gets a bed rail. Safe and snug- and no need for a toddler bed.

That being said- if a toddler bed could be obtained for free from a friend or relative (which seems pretty likely for most people skulking here), it doesn’t really make a difference either way.

Don’t rush to judgement & lump me in w/ all the Walmart haters. The only thing I hate about Walmart is the experience of going there. ;-)

Also, I see a lot of families moving to bigger houses in order to accomodate growing families. We resisted that urge and made due with our little home. The cost savings of doing that are huge! Does every kid really need his own bedroom? Do you really need a playroom AND a family room?

I agree that daycare costs are a huge burden for many working families. We decided I would work only part time for now and that my husband would use flex hours to be home when I was working. This might be a possibility for some and worth asking employers about. If your employer is open to flex time, then it can cut down on how many hours of daycare you need to buy. We’ve also started a babysitting co-op with some friends so that my husband and I can get out together once in a while. I was shocked at the hourly cost of a babysitter.

But, yes, you are certainly right that there is somewhat of a double standard regarding wages and what we are willing to tolerate our Walmart workers making vs. nannies.

My husband and I certainly make sacrifices by having me stay home. We drive clunkers. We bought a small home. Private school will not be an option (no problem, since we are both big fans of public schools and live in a decent school district). But I also recognize that my husband earns much more than a lot of people.

“OMG but think of the environment, we can’t just keep burying these things, they never biodegrade!”

Uh, last time I checked, it’s a BIG country. We’re no in any danger of running out of places to bury stuff any time soon. And also, just because you bury garbage somewhere doesn’t render the land unusable. In my hometown, once the landfill was “full”, they covered it all in topsoil and made it into a park. And finally, saying they “never” biodegrade is false. Plastics DO degrade, they just take a very long time to do it. And newer disposable diapers use materials that degrade much, much faster than the disposable diapers our parents used.

I guess I just dislike all the irrational “environment”-mania when it’s applied to landfills. If you think about it logically, it’s not a big deal at all.