We do have all our finances on Quicken where we can combine everything and hold each other accountable for our spending.

Through the years we always had joint accounts, no individual. We always tried, when we could afford it, to have separate money to spend. Sometimes it was only $10 a month. But it helped us to not feel so poor. I also took care of all the bill paying, financial planning, etc.

In later years we still had only joint accounts, in separate banks and each of us used only one of them, but we still could have written checks on them. In mine I put my paycheck and my husband put in an amount we decided would help us pay all our bills. We each kept a separate amount to spend as we wished. In much later years, he went on SS & had a small pension. The SS was directly deposited into my joint acct. and he kept his pension to spend as he wished and pay for his vehicle expenses & food. (I lived p/t 90 miles away and I also paid for my own expenses.) He also had a joint account with his mother & later a brother after she died. Luckily, he was smart enough, when said brother died, to add my name to the account.

We never considered a prenup, mainly because it was not really the “in” thing in the early 60′s. But he had been through one divorce (he didn’t want it) and wouldn’t even consider a 2nd. I was against divorce for religious reasons. We both were determined to work on our marriage, and after 2 kids and 44+ years, we did fine. And, believe me, there were plenty of conflicts to work out. We worked them out.

I make more money and also handle the rentals – pay the payments if they arent rented, etc. I pay the house payment and she pays all the utilities, taxes and insurance. This works out to a fair % of salary even though I actually pay more per month than she does (of course I make more as well)

As for the other “stuff” I usually pick up dinner but she will as well every now and then. I pay for her ROTH IRA because I want us to have a good retirement and yet we each all have our spending money.

The fact is there is a certain amount of money within a household independant of who makes the money. My wife had debt coming into the marriage and I was debt free (outside of our houses).

Anyway long story short – we know all the bills have to be paid and both of us are actually good savers – know who you marry and do what makes you happy so money doesn’t become an issue

Don’t be afraid to try different things. My wife and I immediately combined checking accounts because it was easier to pay all the household bills and not to have to track 3 checking accounts. We kept separate credit cards for daily expenses for awhile, but eventually switched to the same one for convenience and reward program. That may not work for you.

I like keeping track of that stuff so it was natural for me to do so. I handle the nitty-gritty daily stuff and give her a recap at the end of the month. If we’re getting out of control on budget, we discuss solutions.

When we moved in together, we opened a joint checking account, originally just to direct-deposit our halves of the rent/utilities into. We try to over-estimate this amount by about $100 each paycheck to build up joint savings. We still have personal accounts. The joint account has also become a pool that we buy groceries, pay off our joint phone plan, etc., from). We earn almost identical wages, but my paycheck is corporate/steady and his varies wildly from week-to-week.

Eventually, because I brought debt into the relationship and he’s debt-free (he has no student loans or credit cards—but also no credit history), he asked me to reduce my contribution to the joint account by $200/month and focus on paying down my prior personal debt. So right now, just over a year into our domestic bliss, I’m only two paychecks away from being debt-free, too!

I don’t have one, but I firmly believe in the pre-nup under the right circumstances – i.e. un-even financial situation upon marriage. It’s not planning for a future divorce that’s written in stone any more than buying life insurance is planning to have an accident. In fact, if you *don’t* do it, it’ll probably be an issue. Just like when you forget your umbrella, it rains. :-)
My personal viewpoint would be that if my new husband/wife made money on their own without my involvement, I’m no more entitled to it than anyone else. Upon divorce I would get a substantial amount of it, depending on the state you live in, so a pre-nup just helps to protect against that. People who fight against having that taken away are usual referred to as “gold-diggers”. Unfortunately for folks with money, dealing with that prospect is an ugly, but necessary evil.

How do these couples decide for one to stay home and raise the kids? Does this spouse go on welfare?

If you get divorced you will find you are much more connected legally than you are behaving. The judge will not care one of you paid 70% of the mortgage if both of your names are on it.

If by “bank accounts” you mean credit cards, then by all means I agree with you. :-) Length of history is a huge part of your credit score.

In many states, if a spouse begins to pay down premarital debt incurred by the other spouse, the company CAN consider the non-debted spouse to be accepting legal responsibility for repayment of the debt.

…which is no big deal if you never get divorced but I think the divorce rate speaks for itself.

Also, using a joint checking account to pay for joint items (like a mortgage) reinforces the idea that both partners are equal equity partners.

In the event of a divorce, the court will often look at the financial paper trail for payment, etc. to determine ownership or percent of ownership for post-marital distribution.

My husband and I had separate accounts and a joint account for the first 3 years of our marriage. Once we got rid of our debt, the individual accounts were no longer necessary but we still have them because our individual bank accounts happen to be the accounts with the longest history.

…which is a key component of your credit score!

I appreciate your financial advice but in this instance there are legal and financial ramifications that you haven’t considered.

I DO love that you have suggested a prenuptial agreement. That is a fantastic idea!

Use Mint.com or a similar program — you can view all of both your account info from one place and it doesn’t matter where the money came from, it still gets categorized as “car” or “Rent” or whatever.

Longer term (months to year(s)):

Wait till you’re married, have moved in to your new place and have your docs with your new name on it. That way you only have to make changes once.

We kept separate accounts for a short while, but since I was earning most of the money we soon added my wife to my account and got her a debit/credit card attached to my account.She did most of the shopping, grocery and otherwise, and this was more convenient.

Once she was on my account, her account didn’t see much action and after she switched jobs, there really wasn’t much point keeping her account open any more.

Really, our single accounts just kind of atrophied and died off, just like our single friends who didn’t like being around both of us…

AND, don’t forget to talk about giving. Trent talks about it some, but personally, I don’t think you can overestimate its importance.

After 6 months, we combined accounts into a single checking and single savings account (for primary stuff). We’ve since switched banks, but we have maintained the same structure; pretty much everything is joint at this point in time and while we don’t have an explicit set amount of spending money, anything that doesn’t fall into food/gas gets discussed beforehand.

For balance, MegB in #14 has it split the same way we do– my husband handles the monthly, I handle the long term.

Also, I would add one item that we’ve come up with– build a goal worksheet, with an individual list of short, medium and long term dreams/goals, and then build a joint one. It isn’t so much the negotiation, but finding out what you really, really deeply value and then figuring out how to fit them in your life, fiscally and time-wise.

What we do is each of us gets an “allowance” every week and the rest goes into the general fund. We dont’ really address who makes more or who contributes more to our household income, we all get the same.

It works for us.