Light bulbs went off for me to learn that. While I was surrounded in this workplace by lots of people who felt this way, it was NOT the common theme for every other person on the planet, particularly the external groups that we always felt were ‘attacking us’.

The end lesson for me was to know thyself. Also, if you know who is asking the questions, you don’t have to take it so personally. You can even confirm with the person raising the questions that they are just asking about the data or whatever you have produced. While outbursts were not common in the group, internalizing was, but knowing this information was the #1 factor in improving the quality and quantity of our group. Most of whom went on to be promoted (again myself included).

That I didn’t get to watch, because I was at work.

An interesting aspect is that saving $100 is actually worth more than earning another $100 when you consider taxes. If you earn $100 more, the government will probably keep about a third of it leaving you with $66. If you save $100 that you’ve already paid taxes on, you are left with $100.

I’m extremely cautious about email because so much of my business life requires it. Privately, I have regretted immediately the few times I’ve sent a blog comment too fast. I don’t flame people or try to start fights – I don’t find it entertaining for one thing, and for another NOTHING is anonymous anymore – but there have been times I’ve been hasty, and didn’t take time to really articulate what I intended to say.

To use a dance geek example, last season Adam Shankman cautioned a So You Think You Can Dance contestant about thoughtless comments in backstage clip packages. Everything is recorded nowadays. We have to conduct ourselves accordingly.

- Spell and grammar check ANY electronic communication that you make. Pour speling and grammer make u seem lkie an idiot and wil hurt your carer. If you know you have difficulty with this type of communication, ask a co-worker to help proofread as a first line of defense. There are also many options (online, community college, library, etc) to help improve written communications skills — take advantage of them.

- PUT AWAY THE PERSONAL PHONE AT WORK. I constantly am in meetings where people are blazing away on their phone writing text messages, browsing the Web and playing games during meetings. I’ve also been in one-on-one conversations with co-workers who will get out their iPhone or Blackberry during the conversation. It’s rude behavior, and it DOES absolutely get noticed by the higher-ups. It also makes it look like you have the concentration span of a two year old. Two year olds don’t get picked to head up big projects and progress in their careers.

- Be smart about what you put in ANY electronic communication — email, Facebook, Twitter, IM and so on. More than one acquaintance has been “talked to” about a comment they posted about work on Facebook. People have lost jobs for making blog posts about their workplace. The stories about people getting busted for putting things in email they shouldn’t have are legion — just open the paper and read about the politicians, climate change scientists and so on who have lost serious amounts of credibility because of stupid email messages.

This isn’t to say you can’t put something critical in an email. Far from it. Valid criticisms of projects and tough questions can certainly be stated in email. But keep the tone appropriate and professional. Keep personal attacks, “blowing off steam” and the like to private conversations, since they can very easily be taken out of context and/or forwarded to your management — who will not appreciate dealing with this kind of problem.