Comments on: Keeping Kids from Being Crass Consumers

By: kirstie

kirstie — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:10:00 +0000

I think this is so valuable. Its not just stuff – buying into the advertising message that owning the latest toy/phone etc. etc. would finally satisfy you also feeds into the idea that if only you had another biscuit/drink/plastic surgery/a different relationship/any thing outside yourself your life would be perfect.

As an aside, 4 year olds really don’t need to watch constant TV to learn about popular characters. My son has never seen batman on TV or in a comic, but knows he is a super hero. As far as playing games with other children is concerned that is enough. Really, its far more fun to invent your own super hero character anyway.

By: Georgia

Georgia — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 19:04:06 +0000

RU – There are many great books for young children. Check out the Scholastic website and check Walmart, etc. However, I read to my children from the day they were born. When my daughter was brought home, I started reading aloud whatever I was reading – a book, a newspaper, advertisements, etc. My father was shocked at how quickly she learned to speak.

I also read to my children until they left home, to college and the Army. We started with true adventure books such as Kon Tiki and Aku Aku by Thor Heyerdahl and most of Richard Halliburton’s true adventures. I read from romances, science fiction, comedy, mysteries, etc. They learned to love many kinds of literature. My husband even started listening. We usually did one hour per evening.

One on my son’s favorites was a British romance – a woman racing at high speeds all over Europe, running from the bad guys. My daughter still doesn’t like sci fi, but she had never forgotten the baby Martian, Willis and she is 46 this year.

Read kid’s stories, but keep the reading going on most every type. Give them a plethora of types to learn to like.

By: Syble Solomon

Syble Solomon — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:50:06 +0000

Great advice and comments. One suggestion I have is to discriminate between “praise” and “acknowledgement.” To get praised you have to do what someone else wants and meet their expectations. It’s a great way to reinforce kids. On the other hand, acknowledgement is letting kids know that you love them and notice what is special about their personalities. They don’t have to meet any standard, it lets them know that whether or not they win the science fair or make the team they are still special in your eyes.

By: Syble Solomon

Syble Solomon — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:50:03 +0000

By: littlepitcher

littlepitcher — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 14:14:17 +0000

Throwing some politics in the mix–the maltreatment of employees in certain companies, slave labor in China, environmental hazards–allows the child to tie consumerism to “current events” as they are taught in school, and increases the child’s ongoing awareness of the interconnection of all economic activities. Just have an alternative to those bananas before Dole and Chiquita are discussed.

By: Bill

Bill — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 13:37:05 +0000

@ Julie – Did I read that correctly? You talked about people sheltering their children too much but said you let your 4 year old watch excessive TV “Because, you know, when he goes to school the other kids are going to think he’s stupid because he doesn’t know which current popular TV character they’re talking about.” That’s the very definition of sheltering your child – making a decision based on the off chance the child’s feeling might get hurt if he or she doesn’t know what happened on TV.

Television is poison to a young mind. You’ve seemed to rationalize your decision very well but experiment a little. Take the TV away for a while and #1 – see how your child reacts. If a temper tantrum ensues – you know you’ve got a problem. But if you follow through with no TV, and carefully observe your child, you will find he or she will be more attentive, sleep better, be less hyper, communicate better with you…and many other positive behaviors – too numerous too mention.

By: getagrip

getagrip — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:51:58 +0000

Good ideas. I’d also add that having them around when you make big purchases (like appliances or furniture) and smaller purchases (shopping for their school supplies) and asking the questions “what is really needed versus what we may want and why do we want it.” They see your decision process, your values, in what you do. Actions always translate better than words, especially when repeated and reinforced.

By: Sam

Sam — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 12:33:37 +0000

Thankyou Trent,
my son’s father is very materialistic (to the point I called off the wedding & didn’t marry him). And I worry about that mind set “infecting” my son.
We do many thigns the same – at 9 years old though I’ve had to twist thigns a little bit.

Once in a while we watch network TV however, we discuss bad choices characters make (during the commericals) and while we do laugh at some commercials he now knows they are designed to “get our money”. He understands now that those short blurbs are not sharing an idea for a nifty new thing but it’s a marketing thing to make us want to buy it. He’s helped look up consumer reviews to stuff (like the infomercial stick vacuums that he thinks are so nifty)and at 9, soon to be 10, I think he’s in the loop.
One of his friends was talking about how my son needs to get the XYZ game system and my son looked the kid weird and said “my Cube isn’t broken, I can gets hundreds of games for it and the games are cheap. I can by 3 games off of one lawn mowing job.” So for right now, he’s getting it. The other kid was speechless.
I always worry there’s something I’m missing in my lessons, thanks for the article.

By: Denise

Denise — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 11:19:08 +0000

This is a good post. My daughter was raised pretty much the same way. When they do get exposed to consumerism in school, that is the time to stress volunteer work, sports and clubs. Consumerism will still rear its ugly head but they have other activites to balance it out with.

By: Mel

Mel — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 10:43:05 +0000

I second the dangers of avoiding advertising entirely (or as entirely as possible). It reminds me of a story a friend told me of his parents: they’re both university professors, but grew up (except a few years each in ‘The West’, late ’60s) under communism with *no* exposure to advertising. Then they moved to West Germany, and came across it: a Readers Digest letter in the mail sparked a family conference about what to do with it. Grocery shopping took hours because of the new sensory overload.

I know this example is a little extreme, but it’s maybe good to be aware of.

By: RU

RU — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 04:04:18 +0000

Trent
Could you please suggest some books that i can read to my daughter, (she is one year old now), i want to get her into reading books slowly. Thanks.

By: Julie

Julie — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 23:41:20 +0000

I don’t know. I guess I’m a really (REALLY) bad mommy, but my four-year-old watches way too much TV. Lots of it. An insane amount. I’m not even particularly careful about what he watches. Because, you know, when he goes to school the other kids are going to think he’s stupid because he doesn’t know which current popular TV character they’re talking about. However, he does not have the consumeritis that commercials seem to produce. That may very well be coming, but he doesn’t ask for a lot of stuff. When he does, we remind him of birthdays/holidays, ways to earn money in order to buy it (we don’t do allowance), and how much work Daddy and I do (it costs two hours of Daddy’s work eat all week, etc.) He’s also not overweight, doesn’t eat much junk food, is very active and plays with his toys and loves to be read to. I think maybe sometimes we shelter them too much. It’s much harder (IMHO, since I have a 24 year old as well) to raise a sheltered child and have to deal with the aftermath later than to be a little looser up front. You end up with kids who can make choices because they learn to think about the choices they make, instead of always being told what to think, or having the choice made for them, or not having a choice at all. Yes, I’m a liberal bad mommy and I’m proud of it.

By: Money Reasons

Money Reasons — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:14:13 +0000

This is an area that I’m constantly struggling with.

And as I try to develop my kids that best that I can, I come to realize I have a lot of flaws that I need to correct in myself before I’m able to be the Dad that I want to be.

It’s amazing what you learn about yourself watching your kids play sports or even think…

By: Maureen

Maureen — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 21:34:41 +0000

I think nothing teaches children prudent spending like having to spend THEIR OWN money. Suddenly they become much more careful with their choices.

By: Kerry D

Kerry D — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 21:25:05 +0000

I echo #10 and #11–waiting til children are a little older, one can watch commercials with them, and discuss the motivations of the advertisers. My kids also point out that often the toys don’t work as well as they do on the commercials, or that the art products created were probably made by adults, not the children.

Also, when our children saw things they liked, we taught them to “wish” for their favorite, for their birthday or Christmas. So, they learned it was not realistic to get everything; they kept a mental list of their wants, learned to wait, and adjusted their priorities over time. They also learned to save up for something they wanted, and occasionally made a choice they later thought better of. The “wish for” conversation we were able to do from the time they were toddlers, with satisfied feelings all around–they felt good expressing that they liked something, without ever feeling the need to purchase it.

While we have plenty of parenting challenges, this is an area I feel the kids really “got.”

By: Marinda

Marinda — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:53:11 +0000

Peer pressure and clothing, may I offer a solution. When my daughter wanted designer jeans, I told her she would have to help pay for them. I knew exactly what regular jeans cost and I would cover that and tax gladly, she had to make up the difference. She did and loved that pair, took excellent care of them and enjoyed wearing them on “free dress day” at her school. Same thing went with tennis shoes and t-shirts. She saved her babysitting money and her birthday checks and used those to get the things she wanted. She made one or two pair last and took care of what she did have even if it wasn’t exclusive.

Now that she is an adult, it’s fit and styling, does it flatter and will it carry over to another season.

By: Ashley

Ashley — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:24:29 +0000

This post reminds me of my sister when she was raising my young nephews. She would not “mute” the commercials, but instead had the boys evaluate just what was trying to be sold to them. I thought it was a brilliant approach, because they learned at a tender young age that advertising was an attempt to manipulate their minds and hearts.

I think it is very difficult to shield children from advertising. But my sister made a clever game of it, and her approach served my nephews well as they became adults.

By: Jenzer

Jenzer — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:19:27 +0000

The best parenting tip I heard in this regard recently: at the end of the December holidays, ask a child what was their favorite gift to GIVE that season.

I *love* this advice. I can’t even count how many times folks have asked our kids what Santa brought them for Christmas. It’s a gentle approach to reframing the holidays for little people. Come to think of it, maybe we adults would benefit from asking each other this question!

By: Leah

Leah — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 18:39:28 +0000

I think these are great steps! But, like others said, do be aware that things might change when your kids leave your house. Have the grace and flexibility to let your kids find their own way in this world — if they want stuff they can’t afford, encourage them to develop their own plans. If they choose a different path, acknowledge that it sometimes happens. I do like your plan, but I worry that it is overly ambitious — it’s hard to monitor all the time.

By: wendy

wendy — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 16:08:21 +0000

I understand Candi’s concerns, as we too know of youngsters who have gone ‘wild’ after strict control at home. It is important to set the ground rules that reflect your family values, but equally importantly to discuss these values with the children at the level they can understand, so that hopefully, as they mature, they will be able to make the right decisions for themselves more often than not, and more importantly will be willing to continue communicating with us about why they have made certain choices! I am very aware as my children are now 16 and 17 that I can impose little control, but I can see that the effort that we have put into discussing these things as they have been growing up has been worth it, as more often than not they are making good decisions and we are still communicating! Example is crucial – as my daughter said just before she was old enough to drive – mum, drive like you want your daughter to drive! Enough said.