Each of us falls into a category – his parents paid for college, and he appreciated and uses his degree, but because of not being involved in family financial matters, made early mistakes. He (we) were warned, but it’s one thing to spout doom-and-gloom and quite another to constructively teach!

I paid my own way with loans, because my mother was not a saver for many years and had her own issues, financially and emotionally. I didn’t graduate because I decided college was not for me at the time. We struggle because we are self-employed, but not un-happy with our decision. I echoed the financial problems early-on because even though I knew we weren’t well-off and my mom made negative decisions, I had no idea how those decisions were arrived-upon; only what the outcome was.

So, I guess the moral of my story is whether you decide to fund for retirement above education, education above retirement, or a mix of both – remember that without knowing the process behind any financial decision, children (and even adults) will have no appreciation of how that decision was made or what it means.

First of all, of course I’m not saying that women should not work in male-dominated fields, and I don’t know why you think I am. (I work in a male-dominated field myself, but not a blue-collar one.) I’m saying that not every woman would want to, and that’s okay.

Second, if you don’t believe a problem exists, ask Lilly Ledbetter.

Yes, college is ridiculously expensive – but that’s in part because people are willing to put their financial lives at risk to pay for it. Yes, your child will need both encouragement and financial support to go to college – but that doesn’t have to be a full ride.

There are a few of your arguments that seem neither pro-nor-con. E.g. the numbers of how much you could save at X% rate of return – since the rate is the same the word “retirement” and “college” could be interchanged – it’s a wash. Obviously the sooner you can start saving for any goal, the better.

There is one situation in which I would put college above savings, and that’s if I lived in some hypothetical situation where the only way to get a good income for my children would be to pay for college with my own savings. In that case the total income of the family would be increased by putting the money towards college. However, that is just a hypothetical situation and certainly not what exists in the United States today.

There may not be a lot of women on construction jobs but that doesn’t really mean women are unwelcome. My wife worked in construction not long ago and I asked her about this and she said she didn’t feel ‘unwelcome’. I worked a construction job about 20 years ago and women there were treated like anyone else at the time. It does vary from trade to trade though and some are more chauvinistic than others.

Arguing that women shouldn’t seek blue collar jobs because there aren’t many women doing those jobs just perpetuates the problem you claim exists.

I don’t see more women working in engineering than construction, would you argue women shouldn’t become engineers due to too many men? What about CEO jobs or positions in the US Senate?

You can always, for any reason withdraw your contributions without taxes or penalties. (If you withdraw the earnings early you will pay penalties ) The reverse isn’t true with a 529.

Under current regs your retirement savings isn’t counted as an asset when determining financial aid. OTOH 529s and the like will reduce the amount of aid you can get.

Just like retirement, you may not get everything you want, but if you save nothing, you really limit your options. Even if you saved just $50 a month for 18 years it would amount to $11K or so of help. That’s two years at a lot of community colleges and better than nothing.

Certainly focus on your retirement, but the flip side of not wanting to be a burden on the kids is not wanting to burdened with them, and *their* kids, when you’re getting up there. Some type of training beyond high school can help decrease the chances of that occuring and providing at least some opportunity for them is a reasonable goal in my opinion.

My personal experience is, I earned a full academic scholarship to the hometown school, lived at home the first three years, lived off campus my senior year only because my parents offered to pay rent on a studio apartment. Paid my own way through graduate school (with no loans) after moving to the big city. Have since self-funded two professional certifications in fields completely unrelated to my collegiate studies.

I agree with both Misty and with Nicole’s DH: paying your own way can make you value your education more, but it can also make it damned hard to get through a semester.

I think it’s completely appropriate for parents to *expect* kids to pay their own way (via work, grants, or scholarships) for the first two years of community college or the local in-state school. After that experience, those kids are going to have a much better idea what they actually want to do in life. And the parents are going to have a much better idea how much help their kid might need to get launched.

The kid may choose to stop with the associate’s degree and learn a trade; go on to the state school; or move away in order to get a completely different experience. Based on their performance the first two years, everyone involved will know better what the student is capable of and where their heart is leading them.

The parent’s duty is to be open to honest conversation with their children about work, life, education, finance, and everything else. It isn’t to be an ATM for frat rats.

I attended Junior College, paid for by some small scholarships and my summer job money. I graduated from LPN/LVN school with a certificate, moved out of the house two months after turning 21 and getting my first job, and have never looked back. I even reminded my father to take me off of the family’s car insurance policy. It made me proud to support myself.

My dh and his sister were given the opportunity to attend a large state college, complete with a condo purchased for him to live in. (with a room mate). Both of them partied and flunked out.

I am having some difficulty saving college money, as I have been a SAHM for 9+ years. I plan to return to work as mentioned by poster #18, when my kids do not need a sitter. I am not that worried about my current lack of college savings. From what I have seen from dh and his sister, on through some of my friends’ kids, is that 18-year-olds are often not mature enough to actually do the work at college.

I have no problem staring my kids out at community college. I am currently taking classes there to facilitate a career change when I do return to work. I hope to show my kids that attending college, even if it is just community college, is an investment in a productive career.

Then there are trade programs for those not inclined to ever study literature or higher level math. Some people do become important civil service members like firefighters, police, or military persons, which may not require formal education, just a ton of training.

I think something more reasonable would be to save a small amount for each child’s transport costs, whether or not they decide to drive/bus/train to their destination for trade or univ.

I had friends who spent that much on food/alcohol alone. They were always saying how “lucky” I was to get so much financial aid and that I’m rolling in money. So “lucky” when my budget for necessities was less than their spending money/allowance.

I am of the opinion that you should save for retirement and let the kids pay their own way.