There is a big push to pay down debt, and student loans as the large one.

I am a student at a prestigious university, getting a professional masters degree. I chose the university because it will improve my opportunities to get into a PhD program (should I choose to do that after a few years).

Also, since I will be (hopefully) working within the public service sphere, I will be taking advantage of the new payment programs including loan forgiveness after 10 years. I will also be eligible for a few other debt forgiveness programs for working in an underserved clinical population.

Using the traditional 10 year repayment plan, my payments would be equivalent to a house payment. In this instance, would it be best to use the new income based repayment plan for 10 years, and then take the loan forgiveness? The plan was created to allow those with high student loans an opportunity to work “for the public good” rather than not serving these populations, and often not working in their field of study. Or is it better to spend 10 years paying more than my rent towards the loans, which means several years of very lean living with no opportunities for savings. The difference in payments is between 800 and 1200 dollars, depending on how long the fixed loan payment would be.

Pay off the debt, and miss out an opportunity for future savings for 10 or more years? Or take the loan forgiveness and channel most of that money into savings?

The problem is not that he orders so expensively, but rather that she feels it’s unfair because she’s ordering less than she would like to compensate.

He will never open his eyes to the real cost if she doesn’t order what she considers a ‘reasonable’ meal. Not the cheapest thing she can cope with.

After doing this a few times she should sit down a discuss the recent totals and ask if he feels they are acceptable – there is some compromise involved – and if it makes him feel indulged and you can afford it then let this be his indulgence and order what you want, if he agrees it’s too much and wishes to come to a different solution work together to find one.

It seems like you probably should’ve gone this route years ago, to be honest, given your emphasis on mobility throughout the question.

And yes, Dear Hubby is the King. You are the Queen. The Royal Couple needs to find out how to best administer the Royal Treasury, he wants his feasts — what do you want?

My queen and I have a category in the budget called “blow money”, where we both can blow that money how we see fit. Perhaps you can administer everyone their own blow money for eating out (including the kids) and, as others have said, when it’s gone, it’s gone. We are also not allowed to judge the other’s blow money purchases in any way. So if your husband wants to splurge on a chalice of shrimp, then that’s his business. Also it would let the kids learn some money management skills, too. It may not seem very “familial” to some, but, hey, if it works then it works.

Affordable indulgences are great, as long as they’re distributed fairly. When one member of a family feels they can’t indulge because the other members are indulging so much, then that’s a problem that needs to be worked through in a way that won’t cause resentment. When your preferred indulgences are things that you do and pay for on your own, you can say “Each person gets $X a month to spend as they please, no questions asked.” But that doesn’t really work here – dividing up the bill at a family restaurant meal doesn’t seem very familial.

So here’s what I suggest: Talk with your husband and come to an agreement about how much, total, you can afford to budget for restaurant meals that will leave you with enough money to save and pay down debt. If you burn through that amount in the first three weeks of the month, then nobody goes out to eat in week 4. And at the restaurant, everyone orders whatever they want, and tries not to feel guilty (or make anyone else feel guilty) about it.

Second, you say you can’t manage with just your job living where you do *with your current expenses*. Is there anything you can get rid of out of your current expenses? Will some of those expenses naturally shrink when hubby retires (transportation, clothing or drycleaning, subscriptions to professional journals, food eaten at work, union dues, tools of his trade, whether it be computer programs and hardware or wrenches and boots, etc. etc.)?

Third, you don’t say how old your hubby is. Will he be eligible for any kind of government retirement money, like Social Security, or is he too young?

Four, be cautious about Trent’s advice that you should try to find a job in a cheaper area and then everything will be fine. It might be the case. Or, you might move because you got a new job and the job might not work out for a variety of reasons.

Five, his suggestion of renting a room in your home out to someone is definitely worth considering.

Six, use this breathing space to start making as many changes to your current life as you can and keep evaluating how it’s working. Put aside as much money as you possibly can during these four months. Have your hubby start today to do some serious networking and lining up of contract work for the summer.

I have a similar “thing” with going out for coffee. I REALLY like going out to a coffee shop and getting a sweet treat / coffee and spending some time either on the Internet or reading a book. We were doing this too often before, now we have cut back to a more reasonable amount. If my wife started micro-managing what I eat when I’m there I’d tell her to kindly back off.

The reverse holds for husbands providing unsolicited advice about the cost and/or location of their wife’s haircut. We all have our “things”.

Should you convert to a Roth IRA? “If you believe your tax rate in retirement will be lower than your tax rate now, then it’s probably worth your while”. Isn’t it just the opposite?