I sell Tupperware myself, but I am not a pushy salesperson and I always tell the friends I invite that there is no pressure to buy anything and if they can’t come it’s ok. I sell Tupperware because we need the extra income very badly right now, my husband has been very sick and can’t work.

I present the products in a fun way, and at the end of the evening I let people know they can see me to place an order while we all hang out after, but I never ask anyone directly to buy anything so as to not put them on the spot.

I DO think that people who sell need to make sure that they treat their friends with respect and don’t pressure them to buy things, and to not get upset if they don’t come or buy something.

Last we heard, they packed up and left Florida for Idaho or Wyoming after he lost his job at our church for using CHURCH records to dig up “prospects”. They thinnly avoided legal action against them, but it ruined his reputation and clouded hers heavily.

I don’t know why a couple that included a PhD and a Divinity Degree in their resumes got to this point. A real shame, in every sense of the word.

But I *will not* put friends into a position where they feel they have to make a purchase. I think candle parties and other sorts of home shows are problematic. They are basically thinly disguised shopping. BO-ring. Mind you, if you have a bunch of friends who WANT the product, that’s one thing. But …. Grrr. Friends know I make and sell beads and jewellery. Those who have the money to buy and who want my products have to ask, because I’m not waving them in friends’ faces.

I would imagine if the original reader is wanting a ‘pre-emptive strike’ it’s most likely because several of his unemployed/income-deficient friends and/or family have been looking into some of these opportunities. I think rather than a pre-emptive strike letter detailing his inability to say no, his friends and family (IF they haven’t already forked-over $$ to join) would benefit from an email detailing all the crap about xyz MLM, readily available online with about 20 minutes worth of searching. :-)

But seriously would anyone even think of asking Trent to go to one of these things? He writes a blog on frugality and money management. MLM organizations are not known for their frugal products, rofl.

“I accepted, because I felt like I was supposed to – after all, I didn’t want to let my friend down.” i.e., I have no backbone and cannot say no to anyone.

“…all of the items at the party were way overpriced…” i.e. the stuff at your parties is crap.

“There went $30 down the tubes. The item’s now gathering dust until I find some excuse to re-gift it to someone else.” i.e. It is all my friend’s fault that I bought her crap anyway. And now I’m put in the position that I have to find a way to push this crap off on someone else. My resentment of the host is boundless.

“Why should I have to buy stuff I don’t want just to maintain a friendship?” i.e. I am a spoiled whiner who has no idea what friendship is about in the first place.

“I’ll never host this kind of party and “bank” on our friendship by inviting you to it, so you’ll never have to feel obligated to buy some junk just because we’re friends. You’ll do the same for me. Deal?” i.e. You really don’t want to become one of those people I resent, do you? What’s that? YOu actually like and use the Tupperware/Mary Kay/Candles I just called junk? Oh…well, geesh, you’re pretty oversensitive. Maybe you should get some therapy for those issues you have…

I wouldn’t ever send a pre-strike email since it would offend the ones that throw these parties already. How hard is it to turn down an invitation or to go but to simply not buy anything?

I agree with most commenters that the e-mail is rude. More importantly it will likely be ineffective! Which of your friends and acquaintances will remember 2 years later when they are hosting a party that you hate ‘em? Probably only those that are still offended by the original e-mail.

I did once host a Mary Kay party. I love their products and wanted to get a discount. A friend I know was a rep at the time (although she never pushed it, it came up in conversation once). I invited a bunch of people but I made sure they knew it wasn’t a huge deal if they didn’t make it. Only people to show up were my mom & sister (who also love Mary Kay). I was fine with that, we had a good time together.

Unfortunately, my friend got sick at the last minute and couldn’t host so sent along another rep in her place. The woman was very pushy and gave me a lot of headaches. She even tried to get me to sign up as a rep! My friend stopped selling, so I’m not having any more parties.

I think when you continually decline invites your friends “get the message” that you’re not really into the products they’re hawking.

Now…If your so-called friends or colleagues try to pressure you into buying their “investment opportunity” or “Amway business” it’s time to bring out the big guns and have an honest chat about your dislike of such opportunities. If they leave you alone, great. Let them find out they got involved in a waste of time and money. If they don’t leave you alone and become virtually brainwashed, it’s time to reconsider your friendship…I say this from personal experience with friends involved in the cult of Amway.

I think the suggested email is a bit rude and really won’t solve the problem long term. As your family meets other families (sports, scouts, church, preschool, elementary school etc) you will continue to be invited. How will you be pre-emptive then? If you meet someone new and then immediately send this type of email it’s like establishing rules for friendship with you. I just don’t see it working.

I think that email comes under the category of “things you want to say but can’t”