Seems like there is some serious projecting going on here.

Is the behavior necessary and/or appropriate? Probably not.

But to assume, without context, the presence of abuse? A very big leap. And I am someone who advocates taking action if one suspects either spousal or child abuse and would not hesitate to do so IF i truly had witnessed it.

Most of us see plenty of parents verbally abusing their children. How many people call social services? Not many. Because as damaging as it is, verbal abuse is not something that triggers a call to social services.

Perhaps this was not the best example to give for “waste.” (More an example of how to discourage a child from following their passion.)

Even if the child had been neglecting chores and study, there are ways to address that without being disrespectful to the child AND by taking a positive stance: Son, you’ve done some fine work on your board. However, right now you need to make time for your chores and your studies. They are your key responsibilities and when you’re through with them, you can spend as much time as you have on your board.

It doesn’t have to be either/or (it’s wasteful or it’s not).

That’s the problem with others judging/commenting on how we spend our time.

But “wasteful” is about what else is going on in your life and what needs your attention.

Let’s be honest. Most of us humans spend way too much time in “diversions” and shadow pleasures, often to compensate for other challenges or pain in our lives.

How many folks, for example, have a solo activity, that while enjoyable, is really about getting away from someone (kids, spouse, partner, etc.)? is that wasteful? Yes and no. Perhaps some of that time could be spent on finding real solutions to ongoing issues and making an effort to improve relationships. But part of that time may be how people decompress and allow themselves to readjust their thinking and get back into their routine? It’s a fine line.

I think I might have phrased this as not about being “wasteful” but about what is the best use of your available time? And perhaps prioritizing how we spend our “free” time? We don’t have to give up what we love but perhaps put it into context.

FYI: Trent, I don’t know how, with two kids, that you and your wife have such a solid block of time to play games with friends. Are your kids elsewhere? The only way we could ever spend that much time doing anything was when the kids were away, visiting their grandparents.

And I think we should stay away from judging others in these areas, unless its an employer-employee setting.

I can basically define “wasting time” as anything that takes up time in my life that is not generating me income, or providing value and/or pleasure to myself or my family.

Its a broad definition, but I know that I personally cannot stand wasting time, and I try to utilize each and every day to the utmost

A little side note – I wish I was that kid sanding the skateboard he might have found his passion right there (assuming its not beaten out of him later).

This struck a chord. And thank you for using your time this way. When I only have time to read two blogs, it’s yours and J.D.’s. I’ve been enjoying yours and finding value in it for what seems a long time!

More often, it’s in the context of other people wasting my time (say, by dragging out a meeting at work when I have other things I need to do), or me making a stupid mistake and having to waste time rectifying it (say, I walk halfway to work and realize I forgot my lunch), or wasting time pursuing a goal that turns out not to be successful (say, by reading a paper that doesn’t actually contain a particular piece of useful information I expect to find in it). “Follow your true core values” doesn’t help me avoid wasting time in any of those senses.

Also, I agree with Des and lurker carl.