If you’re unhappy with some significant portion of your life, at some point you have to wake up in the morning and simply say that you’ve had enough.

That key decision often leads to some further difficult ones. It will probably lead to some personal challenges. It will require you to make some changes in your life.

On the other hand, that key decision gets the monkey off your back. You know, the thing that keeps you wondering what your life might be like if you weren’t saddled with this thing holding you back? That monkey. Get rid of him.

What have you had enough of?

I’ve had enough of all of this debt. Set up a debt repayment plan, and that starts with consolidating and minimizing your debts. Cut your spending hard, sell off the junk in your closet, and get rid of the debts. Most of all, don’t rack up any more debt along the way.

I’ve had enough of being sad. You’ve got to make a fundamental choice of whether you’re happy because of the good things in your life or you’re sad because of the bad things. Tossing out some of the bad things can help, but we all have bad things in our lives – every single one of us. You have to choose which parts of your life you’re going to dwell on, and I’d encourage you not to dwell on the sad elements. Sometimes, professional counseling can really help with this.

I’ve had enough of this job. Right now, throw all of your energy towards the career you really want. Look at your current job as merely an exchange of your energy for money and try to maximize that exchange so that you can put your energy towards a much more suitable career. That might mean schooling. That might mean starting your own business. Whatever it is, that should be the focus of your energy.

I’ve had enough of this relationship. If a relationship in your life is making you feel like less of a person, end that relationship. You deserve better than to be treated in a constant negative fashion. Move on – and take your energy, time, and financial resources with you. (The only exception I’d point out in this would be the parent and child one, because children need their parents, even if they’re being difficult about it.)

I’ve had enough of being broke. Stop buying stuff. Every time you buy anything, you push yourself towards being broke. Just stop buying anything beyond what you actually need and the sense of being “broke” will start to drift away. Use that new cash surplus to get rid of the debts and other expenses holding you back.

I’ve had enough of being fat. Start taking walks. Eat like a vegan most of the time. Doing those two things alone will start making a tremendous difference in your weight. Every single item of food you put in your mouth is a choice. Every single time you choose to exercise – or to not exercise – is a choice.

I’ve had enough of this house. Sell the house (or apartment or whatever). Move to somewhere else that’s more palatable. However, you might be shocked to find out that most people are made happier by downgrading than upgrading. Houses with unused space that seem to constantly need work is a sure sign that you need to downgrade, not upgrade.

Do this stuff now. Today is the day to get started on the rest of your life.

Jenny writes in:

In 2008, my husband and I lost about 50% of our retirement savings. We got so scared that we moved all of our savings to very safe investments – cash and bonds. Then, the stock market rebounds and some of our friends have earned back at least half of what they lost, but we barely gained anything!

and Mal writes in:

Every once in a while, I get so proud of my financial progress that I talk myself into going on a big splurge. Like you, my weakness is books. I bought ten books last weekend, dropping almost $200 in the process. How can I get out of this splurging cycle?

As different as these questions seem, my advice to both Mal and Jenny is pretty similar. They’ve both made financial mistakes against a background of pretty good financial success. They both recognize that they made some sort of mis-step, and they both feel guilty about it.

What should they both do – and what should anyone who makes a financial mistake like that (myself included) do?

First, don’t beat yourself up over the past. It’s water under the bridge now. You can’t undo what is done, no matter how much you’d like. Instead, you need to always look at how you can improve your situation from where you’re at now.

Thus, the next step is to figure out what’s going on.

In Jenny’s case, I think she and her husband need to spend some time deciding for themselves whether they have the risk tolerance for the stock market. Obviously, we all want those tremendous “up” periods where a bull market causes stocks to jump through the roof. But to have those bulls, we have to have some bears as well, and your past shows you to be jittery about bears.

In Mal’s case, he needs to spend some time asking himself why he buys those books. For me, at least, such splurges have little to do with a love of reading. I usually do such things as an emotional response to things going on in my life – stress and so forth. Spend some time really looking at what’s going on in your life.

Once you’ve identified the problem, it’s onward to the solution.

For Jenny, the solution probably involves bumping up her family’s retirement savings a bit, regardless of the big gains in the stock market. In fact, if I were in Jenny’s shoes, I probably would not return to the stock market at all. The risk involved – and the risk of making a poorly-timed move on top of that – makes stock investing a less-than-optimal choice.

For Mal, the solution involves serious soul searching and identification of the problem, then a similar search for a solution. It might be a painful relationship. It could be something else entirely. If you can’t figure out what it is, you might want to consider seeking some professional help to help you figure out what it is. Purge-and-splurge behavior is usually emotionally based, and figuring out what’s behind those emotions and putting them to rest will help you with your whole life.

It’s a simple three step solution for any financial mistake.

First, don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s water under the bridge. Don’t dwell on it and look down upon yourself for a mis-step. Instead, look at your situation now and try to figure out where the best place to go from here is.

Second, identify the problem. Spend time reflecting on exactly why you made that choice.

Third, identify and implement a solution. Once you know what the problem is, take action so that the problem doesn’t repeat itself.

Good luck.

All of us use a lot of household products every day. Soap. Shampoo. Conditioner. Toothpaste. Hand soap. Dishwashing detergent. Laundry detergent. The list goes on and on.

Many of these items are used so routinely that we don’t even step back and think about them. We squirt some toothpaste on our toothbrush. We use a big gulp of mouthwash. We dump in laundry detergent up to the line.

Almost every time, though, we use way more of this stuff than we need.

Take toothpaste, for example. If you actually read their suggestion on how much toothpaste to use, it’s substantially less than the amount you probably use. It’s less than the amount I’ve always used, and I use far less than other people I know.

If you go a step beyond that, the back of the package is going to suggest using more than you actually need. Why? If you use substantially more than you need to get the job done, you’ll get the job done and run out of the stuff faster, sending you back to the store to buy more and to cause the company more profit.

I decided to really look at the amounts I was using in my own life and came up with some interesting results on several different things.

Soap I use liquid soap in the shower. I usually squeeze out a pretty big glob onto my washcloth and wash away, not thinking about it. However, if you read the back of pretty much any bottle, they encourage you to use a “small amount” (or some other vague amount). So I experimented a bit. I put just a tiny dot of soap on the wash cloth, about the smallest dot I could make. I lathered it around for a bit and it made a surprisingly large amount of suds. Two dots made as much lather as I would make from a huge squirt. In fact, I found that if I used one of those hand soap dispensers, a single squeeze from that dispenser gave me plenty of body soap for the shower. Using 80% less soap had the exact same results.

Toothpaste I used to squirt a line of toothpaste from one end of the bristles to the other. Reading the back of the tube, they suggest a much smaller amount than that. So I tried different amounts. Eventually, I found the perfect balance for me – an almost circular dot on the toothbrush. This resulted in pretty much the same amount of foam in my mouth (with a lot less over-the-top minty flavor!). Using 66% less toothpaste had the exact same results.

Mouthwash I would usually just pour myself a good mouth full in the bottom of a cup, rinse it around in my mouth for a minute, and spit. However, I was using far too much of it. Using about half as much got the same “burning” effect (yes, I use Listerine). Using 50% less mouthwash had the exact same results.

Dishwashing detergent My dishwasher has two different spots for detergent. Instead of filling up both slots with detergent, I tried filling up just one. I couldn’t notice a difference. What about filling up one slot about halfway? This didn’t quite cut it – it seemed to not work as well. I’ve actually been filling up both slots about halfway now. Using 50% less dishwashing detergent had the exact same results.

Shampoo and conditioner I used to just fill up my palm with shampoo, scrub it deeply into my hair, and rinse. However, my hair is really short. It turns out that just the tiniest dot does the trick – a huge reduction in the amount of shampoo I use. The same is true with conditioner. I’m going to adopt the same “squirt bottle” tactic I use with the soap. Using approximately 85% less shampoo and conditioner had the exact same results.

In fact, the only household product I tried that didn’t succeed just as well without a significant reduction was dental floss. A shorter strand just didn’t cut it.

Each one of these things changed nothing with my quality of life. I just found that if I used a little less up front, I didn’t miss it at all. This means more uses per container of household product – and that means that each container lasts longer.

And that, of course, means money saved without changing a thing about my life.

That’s a win, my friends.

Take a look at how much of this stuff you use. Don’t cut it below what you’re comfortable with, but give it a shot with a bit less. Don’t squirt quite as much shampoo onto your hands in the shower. Don’t put quite as much detergent into the wash. Quite often, trimming a little bit from what you use won’t make any noticeable difference except that you’ll be buying that item a lot less frequently without any change in the way you do things. That means money in your pocket.

My wife and I have looked at somewhere around a dozen vehicles in the last month as we search for a replacement for my truck that will be capable of seating five (and preferably capable of seating more).

Rather than rushing in and just buying the first option we find that minimally matches our needs, we’re being patient. We have the cash sitting there to write a check for the vehicle we want in the price range we want.

Now we wait. And test drive. And wait again.

I have a friend who [in my opinion] is not in very good financial shape and has just borrowed a lot more money from the bank to purchase some more property hoping to make a return on it & for this to help him financially in the long run. It was bought as an investment but I find it very risky. If him or his wife lose their job and are not able to lease/rent the property commercially, then they will be in a lot of trouble. Their finances were not good to begin with and I was horrified that the bank even loaned them the money. If this was 20 years ago, this wouldn’t have been possible, the bank would have never lent them the money but I am finding that banks are more and more willing to put people in financial jeopardy, they don’t care. Although I highly believe in investing money, I don’t believe that going way over your head [even if it is for the right reasons] is ever a good idea. I wanted to suggest that they reduce their costs, pay off a lot of debt before they got into this situation but decided against it.

How do you feel about confronting friends with possible bad financial decisions? Friends are supposed to try to prevent each other from big mistakes but is it crossing the line if we meddle with their bad financial choices?
- Tina

I don’t think you should “confront” your friend about it. The best thing you can do here is to try to help him logically think through what he’s doing a little bit more.

The route I would take is simple. I would tell him that I’m really interested in how he’s able to make these investments and ask to see how he pulls it off because you’re thinking of trying it, too.

As he explains it, ask lots of questions. Make some of them positive ones so he can talk about the positives of what he’s doing, but make sure some of them do address the seemingly heavy risks of what he’s doing, like asking “what happens if you lose your job?”.

At the end, you can simply say, “I’m glad that works for you, but it’s just way too much risk for me. I would never want that much risk on my shoulders, because if even a little thing goes wrong, the whole thing crashes down.” Or something to that effect.

March Madness picks, please (so we can laugh at how awful your picks are)!
- Len

My brackets are usually pretty boring. I have a couple 11s over 6s and one 12 over a 5 (Cornell is the best Ivy League team I’ve watched in a very long time) – other than that, I have almost all the favored teams winning the early rounds.

My Final Four is Kansas, Kansas State, Kentucky, and Duke. I have Kansas and Kentucky in the national title game, with Kansas winning it all.

Of course, most of this will turn out to be wrong, as it does with most of the brackets people pick.

My boyfriend and I are seriously contemplating marriage and therefore are thinking about how we would combine our finances after the wedding. We know that we would like to have children fairly soon and that I would be a stay at home mom, at least for the first few years. So I was thinking that when we get married, we should live off of just his income from the very first day to get a better idea of how things would work and to resist lifestyle inflation.

My thinking is that I want to know that we’ll be okay when we make the switch to a single income – I don’t want to be dependent on both incomes. What do you think of the plan and do you have any suggestions?
- Mary

That makes complete sense. I think that’s a very good plan.

One thing to consider, though, is taxes. When you go to a single income, you will be paying a lot less in income taxes. Not only will your family’s total income go down a lot (meaning you drop into a much lower tax bracket), you’ll also have a bundle of deductions and credits in the form of your baby. That will help some, especially to offset the expenses of the baby.

I would try very hard to not touch your income unless you find yourself not pregnant in a couple of years and want to use a large chunk of your savings to wipe out debt.

I’m debating on cashing out my IRA early (the value is approximately $10,000) and using the funds to pay off two credit cards. Do you have any advice concerning this idea? I know a 10% penalty will be assessed for the early withdrawal, but I’m tired of carrying the debt.
- Rob

There’s not only that penalty, but there’s also the indirect penalty of losing money in your IRA. That means less money at retirement. Yes, the $10,000 doesn’t seem big now, but in thirty years, that money will be on the order of $100,000.

In this situation, the decision should really rest on how much retirement savings you have in total. I would run a retirement calculator both with and without your IRA savings and see how much the removal of that IRA money would actually affect your retirement picture. If it turns something workable into something impossible, then I wouldn’t do it. If you’re okay either way, then it’s more up to you.

Honestly, though, I would be very reluctant to ever take money out of a Roth IRA to pay off consumer debt.

How can I become more responsible for my own finances?

Other than working on our obvious poor communication and the relationship part myself, do you have advice for me?
- Shelly

I excised some of your story, but I think that you really need to get at least some sort of grip on the financial situation in your household.

I’d suggest reading Financial Infidelity by Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, for starters. The book covers more or less the exact type of situation you find yourself in – a situation of not trusting your partner when it comes to finances.

At some point, you need to sit down and talk your way through this with him. That means working on your communication, first and foremost. If he refuses to participate, then there are some deeper marital issues going on beyond just your finances, and you should consider seeking marriage counseling.

My husband and I are in the market for a new or late-model used car and have been doing some research on local dealerships. It seems that nearly all of them have switched to a no-haggle system. Is there any way we can still negotiate to save money on a vehicle or are we really locked in on a price?
- Ellie

“No haggle” pricing is nothing more than price fixing. It simply means that they’re part of a large group of dealers and manufacturers that are agreeing to keep their prices at a certain level.

Unfortunately, there’s not much you can do with such dealerships. My own experience – and the experience of quite a few readers – is that their prices are the bottom line, period. They won’t negotiate and will wave at you as you walk off the lot. Your best bet is to search hard to find dealers who don’t do it this way and negotiate there.

I suspect that this arrangement won’t last for too long, as it’s virtually identical to the “trust” situation in the late 1800s. Competition between dealers and manufacturers is leaving the marketplace and they’re all effectively acting as one company. That’s a monopoly.

Today’s post advised a young couple to do something else with the excess over $25,000 in an emergency fund. You also mentioned that you live off of your hefty emergency fund during those months when income isn’t so steady. May I ask the size of your emergency fund? Or, alternatively, how many months’ living expenses does the number represent and what do your monthly expenses total?
- Melinda

Our emergency fund right now covers living expenses for a little over a year. Of course, our living expenses are going to go up a bit when the new baby arrives.

That’s quite a bit higher than I would suggest for people who have a steady job. The regularity of a paycheck means that you don’t have to have cash reserves for the months when income is low.

I will say this: there were several months in the middle of last year where our income for that month was below our expenses. It was made up for by a handful of stellar months. It’s for that reason that we have such a hefty fund – we can live through a run of poor months and still be okay without having to make panic-based career shifts.

My wife and I bought a house about 3 years ago, right at the peak of the housing market. Since then I’d estimate that our home has lost about $50,000 or about 20% of its value. The house is fantastic and we love our neighborhood, so up until now I hadn’t really cared all that much because we weren’t planning on going anywhere.

We’re aggressively saving for retirement currently, but at the same time, we’d like to start putting some money away so that when we’re ready (within 5 years for sure) we can either add on to the house or move to a larger home in the neighborhood. We’re going to start allocating enough money each month so that even if the housing market doesn’t improve we’ll have plenty saved up to move into roomier environs 5 years from now. I guess my question just boils down to where to put the money? Should we be putting it all into CDs or another safe investment like that or paying off more of our mortgage each month? I’m leaning towards a split of 2/3 into cash/liquid investments and 1/3 into paying off the 2nd mortgage for 20% of the house value on the house that’s carrying a 9% interest rate, but I’d be interested to hear what you or your readers have to say.
- Pat

Put it towards whatever earns you the most on interest.

What’s the interest rate on your home loan? Your smaller one seems to be 9% – what’s your bigger one? Do you have any other debts? What’s the best rate you can get on a CD?

The best thing you can do right now is throw your money towards the highest interest rates. If it’s that mortgage, throw all of it towards the mortgage (assuming, of course, that you have some sort of emergency fund).

When you get to the point of buying another home, the equity in your first home will help you to make it happen.

I am looking to shift gears in my career. I currently work at a small conculting engineering company as the resident Quality Assurance person. When I took the job, I had just been let go from a position I hated. This job has been much better, except for the last two years.

Any suggesstions, things/areas I may have overlooked?
- Danielle

I think you’ve got the general picture right. I also think you should seriously look at changing careers.

One big thing I would do is start building up some cash savings right now before you make the switch. Focus on spending as though you’re earning $35K now and sock the rest away into savings. That way, when you actually do make the switch, you’re not at the mercy of Murphy’s Law right off the bat.

Keep in mind that it’ll likely take some time to find a job in that field. Start shopping for one now and recognize that it won’t happen overnight. Good luck.

My parents purchased a whole life policy for me when I was 1. I’m not sure what to do with it. It has a cash value of about $4000 right now, a death benefit of $50,000 and an accidental death benefit rider of $40,000, with a guaranteed purchase option of $10,000 every three years. The current premium is $200 per year. This past year it earned 6% (before cost of insurance was taken out) and is guaranteed to earn 4%. The current premium is $200.

I currently don’t have a term life insurance policy, but will be purchasing one in the next couple of months. I’m not sure if I should cash this out, keep paying, or stop paying and keeping the insurance until the cash value runs out.
- Adam

You need to evaluate whether this policy is worthwhile as it stands right now. It may or may not be, but there’s not enough information in this letter to know.

First of all, are you engaged in any occupations or hobbies that might violate the accidental death benefit rider? In other words, are you doing anything that causes an elevated risk of accidental death? If so, the company may refuse to pay the rider, making your policy only worth $50,000 if you die. If not, it’s worth $90,000.

Then, get some quotes on term insurance for whatever that amount is. Be honest when getting the quotes. See how much your premium would be for a term policy matching the value of your whole life policy.

Once you have that quote, see how much more you’re paying for the whole life policy compared to the term. Is that difference worth the investment benefit you’re getting at this point? Or would it be better to cash out that investment and put it elsewhere?

I saw a horrible message about you on [link to messageboard removed]. Somebody certainly has an axe to grind! Why don’t you go there and defend yourself?
- Kelly

Honestly, I don’t really care.

There are a lot of people out there who use the anonymity of internet messageboards to blow off steam. I run a website that has hundreds of thousands of readers. It’s not surprising at all to me that some of those people blow off steam in my direction. If I spent my time worrying about it, I’d worry about nothing else.

Yes, sometimes in doing that, I overlook actual legitimate issues and complaints. It’s a tradeoff, but it’s a tradeoff that needs to happen to maintain some degree of sanity and personal happiness.

Got any questions? Email them to me or leave them in the comments and I’ll attempt to answer them in a future mailbag. However, I do receive hundreds of questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours.

My kids love juice boxes. We usually allow them to have one a day as part of an afternoon snack. We’re pretty picky about the ones we buy, making sure that at the very least they’re 100% juice and, often, we buy juice that has vegetable juice in it, too. We like the juice box portability, as it allows us to toss a couple into a purse or a diaper bag as we’re about to leave.

The only problem is that for the amount of juice you get, juice boxes are ridiculously expensive. From an environmental standpoint, the boxes are really wasteful, too, as they fill up the trash quite quickly.

After having a long conversation with a reader on Twitter about kids and juice, she encouraged me to look into getting the kids litterless juice boxes. They’re made of sturdy plastic, reusable, and basically have the same form factor as a juice box. Instead of just pulling an ordinary juice box out of the fridge, one would just pull out one of these boxes. We could then buy juice by the jug (much cheaper) and fill several reusable juice boxes at once, putting them all in the fridge.

She recommended Rubbermaid Litterless Juice Boxes, as that’s what she uses. These sell for $2.99 a pop on Amazon (though you may find lower prices if you shop around).

I then went to the store and did some price comparisons. Among the flavors of Juicy Juice that our children like, the boxes sell for $0.10 per ounce, where the large containers sell for about $0.075 per ounce, meaning you save about two and a half cents per ounce buying the larger containers instead of the juice boxes. This is without sales, of course.

Each juice box would have about seven ounces in it, and if each child drinks a single juice box a day, how long would it be before we would be cost ahead on the litterless juice boxes?

I decided to calculate the numbers as though we bought ten of the reusable juice boxes, as this would amount to an equal number of boxes that we would get if we bought juice boxes at the store. Total cost: $29.90.

Each day, we would use fourteen ounces of juice in the boxes, thus saving thirty five cents a day doing it this way.

Thus, we would have to use the reusable juice boxes for eighty five days (one a day for each of our two children) to break even. After that, we would save about seventeen cents per reusable juice box emptied.

Given that we have a four year old and a two year old at home (and another one on the way), the numbers seem to indicate that this would be a sensible move. It would give us more control over the juice in the juice boxes (mixing vegetable juice in, for example), save us about seventeen cents for each juice box drank, and they’ll be used for many years to come.

Reusable juice boxes, here we come.

Will they save money for you, though? I think these factors are important.

First of all, do your kids drink juice with any regularity? Ours usually have about one serving a day or so. If it’s a lot less than that, then they’re not worth it. If it’s that much or more, then it probably will be worth it.

Second, do you have multiple children? If you have multiple children, the value factor goes up.

Third, are your children young? The value factor also goes up if you have young children, as they’re likely to use them for a long time down the road. Older children might not.

What kind of summer vacation does one take with a four year old, a two year old, and an infant? One great way to do this (for us) is to take a vacation with a large group, where lots of people are there to keep eyes on children in small, rotating doses.

So that’s what we’re doing this year. We’re going camping with my in-laws, including both of my sisters-in-law AND one of their significant others. With that large of a group, watching such a small number of children becomes easy and rotates easily. With just the two of us… I’m not sure any summer camping trip would be worth it.

The “It’s Too Expensive to Eat Healthy Food” Debate It’s usually not, if you plan for it a little bit – and the long term health costs are certainly lower with healthy food. I think the big opposition to it is that people simply don’t want to eat healthy because their experiences with healthy food were not positive ones and thus they try to come up with excuses for it. (@ casual kitchen)

5 Reasons to Use Tax Preparation Software We’ve been TurboTax users since the first day we had to fill out the forms. It just works. (@ my life scoop)

Made By Hand: In Praise of Amateurs My father did similar things: he could never sit still. My favorite of his projects was the small greenhouse he built so that he could start plants outside in the very early spring. (@ get rich slowly)

How to Make Money on Facebook There are some things that you just shouldn’t talk about on Facebook. This is one of them. (@ brip blap)

How to Tame Your To-Do List It’s all about getting rid of the stuff that isn’t actually important or that you’re not actually going to do. A to-do list is a tool, not something to browbeat yourself with. (@ dumb little man)

Every single one of us has some sort of big project hanging out there in our lives. We’d love to accomplish it, but it seems so big and the free space in our life seems so small.

Spend a monent and think about what your big goal is. It could be something as down-to-earth as a major home repair. It could be something as horizon-stretching as launching a new career or new business. It could be something completely crazy, like moving to Norway.

Whatever it is, keep that goal in mind as you read the eight tactics below. Ask yourself how you could actually apply each of these tactics towards your goal. By the end, you just might find that you’ve worked out a plan to take you from the mundane here to the amazing there.

Stop Thinking About Failure
What if I don’t succeed?

That’s often the big question that holds us back from taking big leaps in our life. We see something that would require a lot of work and energy and time and we can’t imagine the disappointment and pain if it didn’t work.

To that, I say who cares if it doesn’t work? If this is your dream, the process to get there should be filled with fun for you. Even if the destination isn’t what you dreamed of, the journey there will be fulfilling.

I want to be a fiction writer. In fifteen years of attempts, I have not successfully published a single piece of fiction. I keep writing, though. Why? Because it’s a lot of fun, regardless of whether I succeed or fail. In fact, I don’t even think about failure. It doesn’t matter. I write stuff I like and keep sending it out, at which point I’ve already succeeded. Anything else is just icing on the cake.

Keep Your Goal Within the Realm of Reality
Goals like quadrupling your salary in six months are going to backfire and demotivate you. No matter how good you are, they’re simply not going to happen.

One great way to make sure a goal is realistic is to ask yourself how much of the success of that goal relies solely on you. The more that relies solely on you and not on the actions of others, the more likely you’ll find success.

Another effective tool is to get your goal reviewed, but we’ll talk about that in a bit.

Take Small Bites Every Day
Every day that goes by, you should take some sort of action towards your goal. Take a walk for better health. Read a book for your education. Write 1,000 words a day (as Stephen King famously suggested for budding writers). Do something to stretch your skills or to learn more about the area where your goal is focused. Take an incremental step directly towards your goal.

The big advantage to doing this is that it keeps your goal always fresh in your mind while slowly reducing the size of the iceberg. You’re always moving in the right direction, bringing that mountain in the distance closer and closer and always keeping it in mind.

Find a Mentor
A mentor is someone who can offer you unbiased and worthwhile advice about your goal and your approaches to achieving it. A mentor can fulfill more of a coaching role, pushing you along through the specifics, or more of a guidance-based role, offering you general feedback on your goals and plans to get there.

How do you find a mentor? Seek out people who are successful in your area of interest, as well as people who are knowledgable about the area you’re trying to cover. Places to start might include your doctor, your social network, or your work environment.

Find Positive Support
Having people that you can discuss your progress with and who will support you in a positive way is essential for big goals. Good positive support fills you with confidence and helps you pick yourself back up after struggling with a particular goal.

This might not be your usual social network. Many people are often unhelpful when it comes to the positive support that others need. Do the people around you make you feel good about the things you want to do? If they don’t, it may be time to start seeking out more positive people to surround yourself with.

Remember, a good, valuable friend is one who makes you feel better about yourself and makes you feel ready to conquer the difficult things in life.

Shred Your Routine
When we have a highly established daily/weekly routine, it can often feel impossible to find room in that schedule for the things we dream of doing. Our routine feels natural and it enables us to keep up with the day-to-day ebb and flow of events.

If you want to find room for that goal, shake up your routine. Start doing some things before work instead of after work. Drop an activity or two that’s gone stale for you. Start taking a nap. Stop watching television or surfing the internet as much.

Shaking up your routine makes many things in your life feel new, and that’s a perfect time to start working every day towards a big goal in your life.

Share Your Goal Widely
Turn the people in your life into motivators by telling them about your goal. When you share your goals with the key people in your life, they become a source of motivation to get up and do something.

On one level, you’re personally motivated because you simply don’t want to show failure to the people in your life. On another level, they will often actually motivate you.

Know Your Motivation
Why are you working towards this goal? If it’s just something you want, it’s much easier to put it aside. It is much easier to convince yourself to make the hard choices if you’re making those hard choices for the benefit of others.

Learning something new because it fulfills you is an easy thing to put off. Learning something new because it brings value to others is much more urgent.

Keep that motivation front and center. Use visual reminders of your motivation. Put a picture of someone you really want to impress on the front of your refrigerator if you’re trying to diet, for example. Wrap your credit cards in a picture of your children. These external sources will motivate you to make the little choices that build the foundation of success.

Good luck!

Kimberly writes in:

A few months ago (yep, one of those New Years Resolutions!) I pledged to get a better grip on my finances. I found some personal finance blogs to read and decided to start off by simply tracking where our money went.

But it’s impossible!! Every time I sit down with our bank and credit card statements, a big chunk of the money is going away to places I can’t figure out. There are vague entries on the bills and so on.

What can I do?

I’m going to assume Kimberly is single. If she’s not single, the first thing she needs to do is sit down with her partner along with a copy of all of their bills and the suggestions in this post and come up with a game plan they can approach together.

First of all, it’s absolutely the right move to sit down at the end of the month and review your spending. Simply knowing where your money goes can help you figure out some very simple things to do to improve your personal finance situation.

That being said, I think Kimberly’s problem could be a very common one. It’s due to the fact that the statement at the end of the month can only provide so much data.

Take ATM use, for example. If you stop by an ATM and withdraw some cash, you’re suddenly finding yourself with money that can be spent without any real paper trail. If you want to keep track of what you spent that money on at the end of the month, you have to keep the record. Your bank statement won’t be able to help you a bit. Counter withdrawals from a bank have the same problem, as does “extra” cash taken off of your debit card when you make a purchase with it.

To put it simply, whenever you spend cash, there is no paper trail unless you create that trail yourself. Your bank and credit card statements can’t keep track of your cash for you – and if you use cash quite often, you’ll find such statement use pretty much impossible.

You have two choices here.

On one hand, you can change your habits and stop using cash. If you rely on your bank card for most of your purchases, your statement becomes your paper trail for you. It will identify, at the very least, where all of your purchases took place, which, for me, is usually good enough.

On the other hand, you can start keeping a money diary. Just pick up a small notebook and keep it on hand. Whenever you spend money for any reason, jot down the date, the amount, and what it was in your pocket notebook. This might not catch everything (you might just forget about it sometimes), but if you have most of your spending in there as an entry, it can often create the picture you need if used hand-in-hand with your statements.

Which solution is better? It really depends on your comfort level. Try the one that seems the most appealing to you and see if it works. If it doesn’t, try the other one.

Another problem that might be causing this is poorly-worded entries on the bank statement and/or the credit card statement. If Kimberly can’t decipher what some of the entries mean, the data is useless.

If you find yourself with a lot of entries that should have meaning, but do not, you may want to seek assistance with reading your statement. If you still have trouble, you should consider seeking another financial institution. Such entries will always cause you trouble – and they certainly don’t need to be vague or unclear.

Good luck! You’re on the right path to taking control of your finances. Don’t let this little road bump deter you!