Thanks for posting this! It really added some nice energy to my day. :)

“Sarcasm: A verbal tone in which it is obvious from context that the speaker means the opposite of what he or she says.”

You are describing irony, not sarcasm.

This is just what I was referring to, however, when I said the word tends to be more loosely used than its true definition.

Insult/ridicule is only one definition.

And I agree that smiling is overrated. I’d much rather deal with someone who is less perky than someone who is fake. Also, the best advice I ever got while traveling was to not smile. We smile too damn much in this country and it can invite negative attention sometimes.

Smiling is overrated. You get premature wrinkles. Frowning is bad obviously. I like to relax the muscles in my face as much as possible.

There are rewards for not smiling. I asked a stranger for her phone number on the street the other day. Her initial response was “you don’t smile.” She gave me her number anyway.

When I don’t smile, I sense that people are more honest with me. Also people tend to laugh around me more.

Recently I was told I have a “zen presence,” on two occasions in fact. I felt highly complimented. I attribute the feedback in part to my unsmiling face.

A friend once told me I should smile more. My response to him: “you should smile less.”

A plugged up toilet is not a big deal, but sometimes a situation calls for more gravitas than a dayglo smile and a good night’s sleep. Those are not going to stop the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. There are a lot of people along the Gulf who aren’t smiling and are losing sleep now and rightfully so. Then again, we certainly do not want everyone to throw up their hands and give up! It’s a huge crisis and there has been a dearth of leadership at many levels. Looking for the best in BP executives isn’t going to solve the crisis. A more heavy handed approach seems to be in order here.

It’s true that bad situations can present opportunities for some individuals to use their talents and skills to bring about real change, but putting on a happy face isn’t always the answer. I don’t think that Captain Sullenberg did what he did by first painting on a “dayglow smile.” He knew the gravity of the situation and responded appropriately. Smiles came later and they were genuine.

An excellent book on this subject is “Bright Sided” by Barbara Ehrenreich who explains, among other things, how having a positive attitude at all costs may actually be the cause of our current financial collapse (home prices can only go up, up, up right?)

Anyway, I know that trying to make the best of a bad situation is usually the best approach, but there are times when you need to be realistic about a situation. A toddler plugging up a toilet is one thing. A teenager vandalizing the bathrooms at school is something else.

Perhaps there could be a Positive Thinker’s Prayer like the Serenity Prayer: Lord, help me be positive and put on a smile when the problem is minor, outraged and ready to take action when it is not, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Maybe I’m just lucky, but I don’t think I’d call any of the people I’ve worked with “caustic.” I’ve worked with people that I didn’t get along with, sure. And I’ve worked with plenty of people who don’t go out of their way to hide it when they’re in a bad mood. While it’s true that it’s not as much fun to interact with people like that as it is with people who are all smiley all the time, I find that if I think to myself, “She’s not scowling at me because of anything I did – she’s just having a bad day,” their bad moods rub off on me a lot less.

Reading this post, and especially tip #3, reminds me of all the times I’ve been approached by random strangers on the street and told to “smile.” I think this is a more common experience among women than among men, and anyone who’s had it happen to them knows how creepy it can be. Nobody owes you a fake smile, and you don’t owe one to anyone else.

Thank You.

I sure wish I could perpetually cast aside my troubles as easily I do all my blessings.

I agree with the general point of looking on the bright side, but not everything has a positive spin. Especially for me if I dropped the sarcasm. :)

As a result of my experience with my mil, I try to keep people in my life who are positive. I feel more motivated to do my best when I am around them which leads me to do better most of the time.

Dan
Casual Kitchen