This summer, I’m going to be posting a series of fifteen low-cost, tasty, and easy-to-prepare meals that are literally straight from my own kitchen.

We’ve reached the end of this series, my friend, and so I decided to finish it off with a dish that bridges right into fall meals quite well. It also takes advantage of some later garden produce and, being vegetarian, it hits the “healthy” factor pretty hard.

Best of all, Sarah claims this to be the best meal she’s ever been involved in preparing in the kitchen. I wouldn’t go quite that far, but I certainly liked this one, as did the kids. This was far and away the biggest vegetarian meal hit we’ve ever done for our family of four.

So what ingredients were in it?

In the picture above, we had decided to use some vegetable oil, but after some vegetable prep and just before food went in the pan, we stumbled across some extra peanut oil in our cupboard, so we used that instead. Here’s our ingredient list.

2 tablespoons peanut oil or other vegetable oil
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 1/2 pounds butternut or other winter squash, peeled and cubed
2 carrots, diced
1 tablespoon fresh ginger, minced and peeled
2 tablespoons curry powder
1 cup coconut milk
Salt and/or pepper for flavor, to taste
Chopped parsley or cilantro for garnish

Our cost was $1.89 for the squash (it’s $0.99 a pound right now), $0.75 for the ginger root, and $1.42 for the coconut milk. We also used somewhere around $0.05 worth of oil, $0.10 of curry powder, and maybe $0.10 of garlic, all of which we had on hand. That adds up to $4.31 for the ingredients for this main course, and we had enough for two adults and two children, with enough leftovers for another adult.

With it, we also served brown rice (perhaps $0.35 worth, by my own estimation), green beans from our garden, and some leftover fruit salad. Each plate cost about $1 overall, in my estimation.

This recipe is based on the “Butternut Squash, Brazed and Glazed” recipe found on page 364-365 of Mark Bittman’s How to Cook Everything Vegetarian, which really has been an excellent introduction to vegetarian meals for an omnivore like myself.

The first step is to prep the vegetables – peeling and cubing the squash (doesn’t it look deliciously orange?), peeling and cubing the carrots, and peeling and mincing the ginger.

We also minced the garlic right in with the ginger, so that’s why it looks like quite a bit more than a tablespoon there.

Often, prepping the vegetables is my favorite part of making a meal. The smell of fresh vegetables and herbs and spices, like fresh garlic or fresh onion, just makes your whole house smell great.

We put the oil, garlic, curry powder, and ginger into the skillet over medium heat and waited for it to color a little bit – about four minutes or so, by our estimation.

This part smelled great. The smell was so wonderful and strong that it brought our children downstairs to find out what was going on.

We then added the coconut milk, the carrots, and the squash, stirred it, then turned up the heat to medium-high until the liquid was boiling, then we dropped the heat down to low and covered it. We left it there for fifteen minutes, stirring it around every five minutes. That’s all it took!

For garnish, we chopped up the last of our cilantro (which has popped up in other recipes during this series).

You don’t necessarily need a garnish – it just makes it look a little prettier as it adds a strong green color.

On the side, we prepared some brown rice and used some of the green beans from our garden, steamed.

You’ll see above that most of the green beans pictured are long and thin. This year, we tried “asparagus” green beans in our garden and this is how they grew. They were okay, but not spectacular. I would probably choose the thicker green beans in the future (one of which is shown here, for comparison’s sake).

We also used up the last of some fruit salad prepared for a large family event the weekend before, giving this as our dinner plate:

It was a delicious all-around hit and a great summer-into-fall way to close out this series.

What comes next? Now that this series is over, what comes next in this time slot?

In a week or two (possibly next Friday or possibly the Friday after that), I’m going to start a photo-heavy series on something that’s quite a bit different than anything I’ve done as of yet on The Simple Dollar. It should run for about ten weeks. After that, I’m going to return to doing some Friday food posts on a semi-regular basis.

Each Christmas, a lot of people find themselves in gift exchanges that they don’t really want to participate in. They end up buying gifts for people that they don’t have a close relationship with. They’re obligated to spend more money than they’d like on certain gifts. Sometimes, they’re guilted into it by the expectations of others at their Christmas parties.

No more. This is the year we declare our financial independence from unwanted gift exchanges.

Step #1: Decide if you really want out
When faced with a big pile of bills and debt, it can be easy to tell ourselves that we’re going to cut down on gift-giving next year. We think about all of the gifts we bought, think of the ones that seemed like the biggest stretches to our budget and our personal lives, and begin to feel something negative about that gift. Discomfort. Resentment. Annoyance. Disgust.

Yet, quite often, we also like the gift exchange process with people we care about, even if it’s with people we don’t see all that often.

It can be a real emotional conundrum, and it’s one that deserves some careful thought. Do you really want out of the whole picture? It’s quite possible – and quite justifiable – that you do, but any gift you gave in previous years deserves some reflection this year.

I’m in two different gift exchanges that have given me pause in the last year. In each case, it’s a gift exchange with extended family members that I don’t see too much during the year. We’ve made the decision to get out of one of them, but after some deep reflection, we decided to remain in the other one, though we are going to suggest some changes to them.

Step #2: Come up with the alternative you would prefer
Most likely, you’re going to come up with some mixed feelings about some of these gift exchanges. I’d encourage you to consider alternative options that do not devalue the real value of the holiday season – spending time with people you care about. Here are several such options.

A “secret Santa” exchange Instead of everyone giving a gift to everyone, simply draw names in some fashion and have each person give a single gift to another person.

A “handmade” or “thoughtful” gift exchange Instead of buying stuff, have a gift exchange where items of more personal value are given. There are lots of options here – and the more creative your family is, the better. You can agree to give each other handmade items. You can agree to give each other “coupons” for personal favors later on (like a night of babysitting for a harried parent or two hours of cleaning for an elderly person). You can give each other “thank you” cards, handwritten, that express thanks for what that person has meant to you in life and in the last year.

A potluck dinner Instead of having a gift exchange, just have a big potluck dinner during the holiday season. Don’t make it about stuff – make it about family. I think this is perhaps the best default option for a lot of families and other groups.

A volunteer afternoon Instead of getting together to give each other stuff, perhaps you could all spend a few hours doing something like working in a soup kitchen or building a Habitat for Humanity house. It gets you together and creates something worthwhile for the community. This is a great suggestion to replace an office Christmas party.

Step #3: Communicate, communicate, communicate
Once you know which exchanges you want to get out of or alter, it’s time to communicate.

Some people will arrange this by email. Others will use Facebook. Still others will do it over the phone. It has a lot to do with the people you’re dealing with.

Here are two different email templates that you can use and alter to your heart’s content.

Hey Sally,

I’m looking forward to seeing you all at Christmas dinner this year!

With the economy, though, I was thinking of suggesting that we don’t do a gift exchange this year like we’ve done in the past. Instead, what do you think about just doing a “secret Santa” exchange with the adults and a second one with all of the kids? That way, we all have a gift to open, but it won’t leave any of us in financial trouble.

Let me know what you think!

Love,
Tim

That one would work well with siblings and close cousins. For an office exchange, you might want to try something like this:

Hello all,

Instead of the usual office gift exchange this year, let’s put aside a Saturday afternoon in December and have all of us spend a few hours doing some volunteer work? It’d help us get in touch with the people that truly need help in life, plus it would give some excellent public relations to our firm.

What do you all think of this idea?

Janine

Who should I send such an email to? If there’s a person or two who are obviously organizing the Christmas exchanges based on past experience, contact them first and see what they think. Make sure you include an easy-to-choose alternative in your email.

If there is no central person (particularly if the exchange just involves a small group), contact everyone in the group. Do it individually – some people may feel very nervous about saying that they want out to the whole group. Give them an avenue to tell you how they feel about it one-on-one.

Shouldn’t I call people instead? It entirely depends on your relationship with the people involved. For some relationships, email would work best. For others, Facebook. For still others, a phone call would be the best route.

What if no one agrees with me? You’ll have to make your own decision when it comes to that point. You can simply ask to drop out of the exchange, or you can just shrug your shoulders and go along with the flow of it. If you’re really uncomfortable, though, just ask to leave the exchange.

Step #4: Stick to your guns
Once the decision has been made to alter the gift exchange, you might feel some regret, particularly when the Christmas season comes around. Don’t. This one’s worth sticking to your guns on, especially if you’re still actually spending time with your family during the holiday season.

Instead, focus on why you did this in the first place. Recall the emotions and thoughts that led you to the decision to leave the exchange. Keep them in mind.

Most importantly, enjoy the camaraderie. In the end, the value of seeing family during the holidays isn’t found in the gifts. It’s found in the people and the time spent together.

Good luck!

Every day, I receive dozens of emails from readers describing their financial situation and asking, very simply, what I think about it.

A lot of those letters come from people in very difficult situations where it’s clear that some major life changes are in order. Without making some sort of a significant change – moving, drastically cutting spending, telling a loved one a closely-guarded secret, seeking professional help, selling off some significant assets – they’re going to go bankrupt or do irrepairable damage to relationships in their life.

Just as often, though, I read emails from people that just need a small boost to get where they’re going.

They’re on the right path, but they’re feeling like it’s very long and arduous.

They’re breaking even and need just a little bit more to get ahead.

They’re on the verge of reaching their goal, but they’re having a bit of cold feet before taking that leap.

In short, they’re just shy of being in a place that they want to be in. All they need is a little boost.

I think we all find ourselves in that kind of situation sometimes. I know I certainly do.

I’ll be on the road towards a savings goal and feel impatient along the way, like when I was saving up for a computer replacement two years ago. I’ll be on the verge of reaching a goal, like completing my last book, but find myself fretting deeply about finally calling it “done.” I’ll spend a few weeks just writing exactly enough to maintain The Simple Dollar and begin to really dig deep looking for ways to get ahead a bit with my writing.

When I’m in one of those “almost there” situations, I look for a little boost to put me over the top.

A financial boost Sometimes, a bit of cash right away will do the trick. Other times, shaving just a bit off of a monthly budget will help. Whatever it is, often the smallest of pushes can turn a sense of stress and overextension into a sense of success.

How can you get a financial boost? Sell something. Have a yard sale. Use a frugality tip or two, preferably ones that can directly cut your monthly bills. That little cash boost can often tweak things just enough to make a negative into a positive.

A confidence boost Believing that you actually can pull something off can often make the difference between success and failure.

How can you get a confidence boost? Talk to trusted friends, ones that don’t drag you down with their responses. Take a long look at the things you’ve already achieved in life and ask yourself if what you’re doing now is really that much beyond some of the things you’ve already achieved. Get some exercise, eat better, and get some sleep (you’d be surprised how much this works).

A creative boost So many jobs today rely on or make great use of creative work. Our home lives, in many cases, also thrive on a bit of creativity (think about cooking, for example). When we’re out of creativity, our lives begin to fall into a routine place and feel very drab.

How can you get a creative boost? My best technique is to withdraw for a while. Rather than continuing to squeeze the orange and get no more juice, I step back and take a break. I load up on mindless busy work. I play with my kids, simply doing whatever they want. What I find is that eventually, things start to click again.

A motivational boost We’re moving in a certain direction, but we’re no longer sure if it’s the right direction. Why are we doing this?

How can you get a motivational boost? For me, it’s all about the goal-setting. If I’m feeling lost as to why I’m doing certain things in my life, I focus on the goal. Is this something I really want? Have my goals changed or am I just losing touch with them? I spend time really focusing on the outcome and making sure that it’s something I really want for my life.

Sometimes, all it takes is just a little boost to get us on the right track again.

What’s inside? Here are the questions answered in today’s reader mailbag, boiled down to five word summaries. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question.
1. Bankruptcy and student loans
2. Refinancing question
3. Revocable living trust questions
4. Using Vanguard for retirement
5. Retirement savings or debt?
6. Flaw in retirement calculations?
7. Success with cutting cable
8. Goals for 12 year old
9. Skype and prepaid phones
10. Financial focus for divorced mom

One question that popped up several times in the last week or so revolves around how I choose what details to mention and what details not to mention on The Simple Dollar.

It’s not an easy process. For one, I do not want this blog to ever violate someone’s privacy, particularly someone I care about. They did not make the choice to write publicly about things – I did make that choice. Whenever I write about someone in any way that’s not glowingly positive, I check with them. I often alter names and relationships, too. These people don’t deserve to be thrown out there publicly.

Because of that, there are times when I have to be very careful with how I write certain posts – and that has gotten me in trouble with commenters more than once. If I choose not to mention a key criteria for a decision because it violates the privacy of someone I care about, readers certainly let me know about it and inform me as to how awful my decision was. It’s a difficult balance, but if the choice is between violating the privacy of someone I care about in front of hundreds of thousands of readers or not being entirely clear on a certain post, I’m going to choose to be a little vague.

That’s part of the price of writing a popular blog – you have to make choices like this constantly. What details do I mention about my children? Will this post still make sense if I take out a couple of details that my friend might not want talked about on the site? Sometimes, I choose wrong (and I certainly hear about it), but overall, it’s a balance I think I’m doing a fairly good job of maintaining.

Put yourself in my shoes for a moment. What details about yourself would you reveal? What details of your friends and family? What about those times – and those times pop up a lot when you’re talking about money – when you’re riding right on the fine line of what you would consider private?

If I’m not sure, I choose privacy, and sometimes that hurts a post a little. I’d rather lose the respect of a handful of readers because I chose to maintain someone’s privacy than lose the respect and trust of a lifelong friend or a close family member.

I’m 25 years old and within the last couple years or so, mostly due to poor planning and financial decisions but also due to some tough breaks, I found myself overwhelmed with consumer debt. I dropped out of college a few years ago due to lack of funds and motivation but was able to secure decent paying administrative/secretarial-type jobs despite my lack of a degree. But due to the economy, for the past 2 years I’ve had to take progressively lower paying jobs just to stay afloat, all the while stretching my finances too thin (I went from making $31,000 per year in 2008 to I’ll be lucky if I clear half that for 2010).

I’ve since filed and I am on the road to becoming more financially responsible. I’m currently saving for a new (used) car right now (paying cash, no more car notes for me!) and after that I want to establish an emergency fund and begin saving for a home and retirement. I realize that to even get my foot in the door for better jobs, I would need to invest in my education and go back to school. I plan to continue working while going to school to cover living expenses and help pay down school loans while I’m in still a student (I want to finish with a little debt as possible). Do you have any advice for applying for student loans after bankruptcy? I know that federal loans do not consider your credit as a factor but what should I look for in a private lender? Are there certain lenders in particular I should seek out/be wary of?
- Bri

For federal student aid, your bankruptcy shouldn’t have any impact at all unless you continue to have delinquencies or defaults. This includes Title IV stuff and Pell grants. Such federal student aid isn’t supposed to use bankruptcy as a sole criteria for approving or denying aid.

Other types of loans certainly will look at your bankruptcy, but they’ll treat it as part of your overall credit history. Student lenders tend to be a bit more forgiving of bad or suboptimal credit because of the government support they receive.

My suggestion is that time heals all credit wounds. Give it a couple of years. Spend those years keeping your financial nose as clean as possible and, if you can, saving money for college and college expenses.

For more details, I’d check out this article.

My husband and I are currently debating refinancing our home. We purchased our house in 2007 at $189,00 with 20% down with a fixed rate 20 year mortagage at 5.875%. We currently pay an extra $100 (and some change) towards the mortgage every month and right now we are two months ahead of payments. Last year we paid an extra $10k towards principal and intend to do the same again at the end of this year. Our current balance remaining is under $120k. We are wondering if we should refinance the remaining balance at a lower rate and continue to paying at the old rate, and ultimately paying the mortgage off in less time with less interest. I know one critical thing to this is the value of the house which does not appeared to have decreased since we have made some additions (all out of pocket so no loans are pending). I am just not sure where the line in the sand is drawn when it comes to using the cash to pay off an existing mortgage or pay for a lower interest rate at the cost of some of the cash being sacraficed for closing cost, etc.
- Charlene

If I were you, I’d refinance that into a 15 year assuming your credit is strong. 15 year mortgage rates are now in the 4% or below category. Usually, the best rule of thumb on refinancing is to see whether you can knock a percentage point or more off of your rate – and you can nearly knock two percent off.

But why 15 year? For starters, you’ll get a better interest rate on a 15 year mortgage than a 20 or 30 year. Another reason to switch to a fifteen year is that, if you had a 20 year and have already paid off three years of it, your monthly payments under the 15 year on your remaining amount will almost assuredly be lower than what you’re paying each month now. Lower interest rates plus lower monthly payment plus quicker payoff time sounds like a good move to me.

If you’ve had a good relationship with your lender, I’d start there with my loan shopping. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, after all.

Trent, I have had an ING account for years but just recently learned that you must have a revocable living trust set up for your beneficiaries. Do you know anything about this? I haven’t looked into getting one set up yet but I assume there is some cost involved. My brick and mortar bank allows me to designate beneficiaries to sidestep going through probate court. I haven’t seen this ever addressed on your blog and would appreciate your input. I have enjoyed your advice and incite for years. I appreciate all your work.
- Kim

There is no must in terms of having a revocable living trust for your beneficiaries. It’s an option, albeit one with some real benefits, especially if you have a seven figure net worth or higher (because probate becomes painful when you have a significant estate).

What are the benefits of a revocable living trust? The biggest one is that you avoid probate. Probate basically means that a court supervises the distribution of your assets after you pass on and charges some fees for that “service.”

Another big way to avoid probate is to set up a P.O.D. on your cash accounts that basically says that any amount in this account is paid on your death to whatever beneficiary you designate. P.O.D. supercedes a will and avoids probate. If your bank doesn’t have such a designation, then another option is to name a co-owner of the account. I believe that ING Direct does not allow P.O.D. designations on their accounts for now.

Your easiest immediate step is to put a co-owner that you trust on your ING accounts, then include information about that account with your estate papers. After that, research a revocable living trust on your own and decide if it’s right for you.

I know that you are a big fan of Vanguard, and the research I’ve done shows why. My question is, do you recommend putting our extra $ in the 500 account, or in a target retirement date mutual fund? We do not anticipate needing to access the money before retirement, so we’re okay with it being tied up. I’m just trying to decide which is a better choice. I am thinking the target retirement date, since we still have some time between now & retirement, so it seems more long term? I’d love to have your opinion!

Also, w/ either Vanguard accounts, can you move $ (differing amounts) to the account every month, or do you have to set up a particular $ amount for a monthly draft?
- Amy

If I were just setting up an ordinary taxable investment account, I wouldn’t invest in a target retirement fund. That’s because every year, the investments in that fund shift and with each buying and selling, I’ll incur some taxes. Then, when I sell everything at the end, I’ll incur even more taxes. I’ll be double taxed on some of that money – once when they move money from aggressive to conservative, and once when I take it out.

Target retirement funds are best used in Roth IRAs and other tax-free accounts. Money moved within a Roth IRA doesn’t affect your taxes today.

As for the differing amounts, once you have the minimun invested for your fund (usually $3,000), you can do any combination of the payment options you mention. You can just not invest any more. You can automatically transfer money each month. You can add money as you please. Or, you can use both payment options together.

I’m 31 years old – I work in marketing so I’m sure you’re going to know what comes next…I was laid off from my $70,000/year job about three weeks ago. Luckily, I am employed again at another marketing agency, but I’m only making $50,000/year, and it’s smaller than the first agency…in fact, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was closed within a year or two. When I was laid off, I did not have any sort of emergency fund to fall back on. In fact, my only savings is my retirement which is about equal to the amount of debt I owe.

With the job change, I’ve been looking at my retirement accounts. I have enough in retirement to pay off most of my debts. Is it incredibly stupid of me to cash out the money, pay off debt and then rebuild? I am confident my spending habits have changed. The peace of mind in having no debt would be immensely helpful to me and I feel like I could rebuild my financial life, taking the money I would be using to pay down debt and instead sticking it in retirement accounts. For right now, I’m taking the Dave Ramsey approach of saving a $1,000 emergency fund…but even if I lose my job again, I know that won’t keep me long. It’s going to take me years to pay off this debt…probably at least four or five and that’s if I buckle down even more than I already have. What would you reccomend?
- Ann

The way I see it, you’re stuck between two difficult choices – and neither one of them is good. On the one hand, you could cash out your retirement (bad because of the hurt it puts on your retirement plans) and use it to pay off debts (good). On the other hand, you could hold onto your retirement (good), but spend the next few years squeaking by with a very tight cash flow (bad) and you have at least some chance of having to tap that retirement anyway.

My biggest concern is that you’re really struggling to make ends meet right now. You’ve managed to live cash-only – except for $2,500 in car repairs. That means you didn’t have adequate savings to cover that expense, which means you’re at risk of other expenses.

I’m going to speculate, based on the fact that you work in marketing and were able to quickly switch firms, that you live in a large and fairly expensive city, which means that your income isn’t going to stretch as far as it might in other parts of the country. Thus, you’re probably pretty tight on your monthly budget right now – you’re walking a tightrope.

Given all that, I would probably cash in the retirement money and clear out as much debt as I could with it, starting with that personal loan. After that, I’d get a healthy emergency fund going, probably adding up to three months of living expenses. Then, I’d double down on my efforts to build my retirement savings.

To calculate the future value of a retirement fund compound interest is very often applied at a fixed interest rate over the life of the investment. However, it is universally accepted that as one nears retirement a significant portion of their money should be placed in lower interest investments to reduce risk. Given that an investment fund will generate the majority of it’s earnings towards the end of its life (when more money is available to earn interest), neglecting to account for this reduction in interest that should occur in a well diversified retirement fund will lead to a significantly different amount of money. Why is this so often left out of the equation?
- Eli

Simple answer: because the math turns into a train wreck of assumptions.

When you do a calculation based on one asset class, you’re dealing with a much smaller set of unknowns. You can take their monthly contributions, pull out an expected long term return (I use Warren Buffett’s number – 7%), and calculate based on that.

As soon as you introduce the idea of switching asset classes, you begin to lose the message in the details. Not only are you now worrying about the unknown long term returns of two asset classes – stocks and bonds, at least, and possibly real estate and cash, too – you’re also dealing with the unknown of how the transfers between the accounts will go.

In the end, with that latter calculation, you come up with a number that’s so buried in guessed variables that the number is practically meaningless.

This weekend we had a friend install a very nice, very free TV antenna on our home and I cancelled our Dish Network. Now, my husband REFUSED to do this for the past 2 years. We have had this very nice very free (courtesy of Craigslist) antenna for a while but he listened to too much propaganda and believed we would not have any channels. When our bill for basic service plus his TEVO (which he rarely uses) jumped to 54.37 per month, I had had enough. I researched our antenna and the service we would receive at our location, all courtesy of antenna.org, and showed him that we would receive at least 30 channels FREE. He argued again that it wouldn’t be the same. Ok, I said, what do we really watch on TV? And with that question, I actually documented what we watched. 90% of it was on the local affiliates. Now our kids (we have 6 ages 17 thru 6) all watched Disney, but this isn’t a democracy and their votes don’t really count because I have been disturbed for some time about the programming on Disney depicting all parents as being idiots…very similar to the inmates running the asylum….so, with this knowledge in hand, he was on board. I pondered this whole process and learned some important points (which I am sure you already know, but some of us aren’t up to speed, so bear with me):

The best part about it is that I was excited to simplify.
- Lori

Absolutely. There are so many options out there right now for television viewing that paying a mountain for cable or satellite really only seems like the “high priced” option.

For example, you mentioned just using an over-the-air antenna. We can get about 17 channels over the air right now, including an extremely kid-friendly PBS station.

You can also use Netflix streaming if you have an internet connection. For $9 a month, you get more movies and non-commercially-interrupted television series than you could ever watch, plus you’ll get some DVDs in the mail to cover the things that aren’t on streaming.

If you don’t mind watching on a computer, Hulu is great, plus there are many shows streamed on the websites of the various television networks.

Don’t ever believe that the only way you can watch television is through cable or satellite.

I have a 12 year old step son, and we use money as the motivator of choice for larger chores such as mowing the yard. However, it seems like he takes on the chores more because he knows how much we appreciate the help, and less because of the monetary reward (not at all complaining here, mind you). Historically, he’s always liked the idea of earning money, but never really has any significant savings goals. More responsible things like college and cars don’t interest him due to them being “so far off”, and he doesn’t seem to ever be interested in purchasing anything to feed his personal hobbies (primarily reading and playing video games). As an adult, I can now appreciate how effective setting a savings goal for an item is towards helping you motivate yourself to work a little extra hard–or do with a little less–to reach that goal. While I don’t want to encourage him to blow all his money on frivolous things, how I can teach him the ins and outs of savings goals?
- Jon

Your son seems like a good kid if he’s doing stuff just to help out around the house. Here’s what I would do in your shoes.

First, I’d sit down with him and see if he has any big savings goals he’s dreaming about. A new video game system, perhaps. Maybe a laptop computer. It doesn’t have to be something lofty, just a big enough savings goal that he’s not going to be able to achieve it in a few weeks.

Once you’ve cinched that goal, I’d select a goal of my own to save for – something you want in roughly the same price range as what he’s saving for.

Pay him for chores as you have been doing and encourage him to toss some cash into a jar to save for that goal (I like jars because they’re very tangible and visual – yes, you don’t earn interest, but that’s not really the point yet). Have a jar for your own goal and toss some savings in there on occasion – a $5 or a $10. Talk about how you’re both moving towards your goal.

If you can, try to finish your goals very close to the same time – and go get the things you’ve been saving for together. He comes home with a laptop, you come home with … well, whatever it is you chose to save for. This provides double reinforcement of the idea that saving for a goal is a big winner.

I believe in the idea that families who save together encourage those behaviors in each other.

You say you use Skype and a prepaid phone. I’m interested in the logistics of this – specifically that you said you use Skype “even when out and about” – how do you do this? I am very interested in using Skype (and even the new gmail phone feature) and I do so from home, but if I don’t have my computer and internet access around, I can’t use it.

I’m also interested in prepaid phones. I’ve tried researching them quite a bit, but I’m wondering what service you use. I’m not sure whether a monthly no-contract plan or a literal pay for every minute you use kind of plan is more cost effective.
- Rowenna

I use Skype on my iPod Touch, an item I received as a Christmas gift a couple years ago. I have headphones that also have a built-in mic on the cord. I simply use the Skype program on my iPod touch sometimes when I’m at a place with wi-fi.

As for prepaid phones, it really depends on how heavy of a user you are. The first thing I’d do is try to get a grip on how many minutes and texts I realistically used in a month. If you currently have a cell phone, use some old bills to find out these numbers and average them over several months.

Once you have that information, shop around. Calculate what the cost would be each month for your usage. You’ll likely find that different plans are better for different usage levels (that’s exactly what I found). This market is so much in flux that any “best plan” recommendation one month would likely not be the best plan a month from now.

I have been divorced for about 3 years now. I am trying to teach myself personal finance and applying those techniques but I’m not sure if I’m catching on too well. I am 30 years old, finishing my MBA concentration Accounting, and have two young kids (both under 10 years old). My student loan balance will be about $100k once I reach graduation (includes out-of-state undergrad tuition) – this is about 90% of my total debt. I have no credit cards. My 401(k) balance is less than $5,000. My Roth IRA balance is less than $2,000. My emergency fund is about $6,000. My current salary is low $40′s and my term life insurance policy is 10 times that amount. I do get $480/month in child support which I use for childcare expenses or throw into the e-fund. If you can believe it, my financial situation is much better than it was 3 years ago but moving from two to one income continues to be a strain.

Right now, where do you think I should place more of my financial focus right now?
- Lacey

I would stock your emergency fund higher than $6,000.

The first thing I’d do is I’d sit down and figure out what my monthly expenses will be post-graduation. Your student loan bills will be a part of that, as will your housing and all of the other expenses that are coming your way. I would shoot for an emergency fund that would cover all of that for six months, and because you have kids and no high-interest debt, I would make that my financial priority.

After that, start socking money away for retirement. If your employer has a 401(k) match, put money there so you get all of the matching money – after that, stock your Roth IRA. You want to be saving 10% of your salary each year.

If you’ve done all of that, use the rest to hammer your debt with extra payments. Pay them off in order of interest, with the highest interest debt going first.

Good luck.

Got any questions? Email them to me or leave them in the comments and I’ll attempt to answer them in a future mailbag. However, I do receive hundreds of questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours.

Why do you shop at your preferred grocery store?

Think about it for a minute. What reasons do you have for shopping at one store over another? Is it purely the prices? What about the location – is it because it’s close to your home? Cleanliness (like my Aldi story a while back)? Store organization? Convenience? Shopper rewards programs? How they treat their employees? How their company behaves? Availability of certain specific goods? Cost to get in the door (a la Costco and Sam’s Club and B.J.’s)?

All of these (and more) are factors when you choose where to shop. Some stores are going to excel in one area or another and do poorly in other areas. A store that excels on prices will often tank in other areas, like employee treatment (like Wal-Mart). A store that excels on prices and employee treatment fails on cost of admission and organization (like Costco). Experiences in some of these areas will also vary from place to place.

My choice of store centers around a handful of factors. At minimum, a store has to have a certain level of cleanliness or I’ll turn around and walk out.

I won’t bother to go more than about three miles farther than the nearest grocery store to shop, but that rule includes Hy-Vee, Wal-Mart Supercenter, Aldi, Fareway, Dahl’s, Sam’s Club, Super Target, and Cub Foods, so there’s plenty of choice in that range.

I tend to prefer stores where it’s easy to find what I want – the more bad experiences I have wandering around trying to find something, the less likely I am to come back, even if the prices are great. After that, prices rule, in my book.

I’m not too worried about the shopper’s reward policies or their corporate behavior, and the cost of entry issue mostly comes down to “do I save money over the long run.”

What am I left with? I have a handful of stores I prefer to shop at (topped by Fareway) and another handful I’ll stop at for specific sales or specific items.

That’s great and all, but why am I writing about this?

First of all, the sticker price is rarely the bottom line. Almost always, if I strictly chase the absolute lowest price on an item, I end up costing myself more because of the additional costs.

For example, I won’t drive an extra ten miles (and spend that extra time) to save an extra dollar. The automobile wear-and-tear and maintenance costs will eat the savings and you’ll have spent a chunk of an hour chasing that imaginary dollar. I’ll happily spend an extra dollar at a different store to save me that twenty minutes and the wear on the car.

Second, a bit of planning trumps most of the other factors. Be patient on your staples, for example, and don’t be afraid to buy a lot of them when the right price comes along. This requires some planning, of course, but it allows you to buy the items you need from locations that are acceptable for you, ethically or otherwise.

An example: I would have to drive significant extra mileage to hit a CVS (around here, DrugTown is the most common drugstore chain) in order to take advantage of their bargains. What I’ve learned, though, is that patience, planning, and coupon use often trumps their bargains elsewhere, which enables me to not have to spend time and money traveling to CVS to get a “bargain.”

So what’s the best solution?

For me, it’s simply a matter of knowing and using a small handful of local stores, being patient, and hitting the good sales there hard.

Knowing two or three local stores makes them convenient and increases my ability to find things in those stores, making shopping trips faster (and time is money).

It also allows me to narrow my searches for sales. I only really pay attention to a few different grocery store flyers when planning my grocery shopping. I pay attention to coupons, but only in the sense of “this is a coupon for a staple, let’s clip it and see if it eventually matches a store sale.” This attitude saves a ton of time.

In a nutshell, patience trumps “super” bargains for me in that it saves me time and allows me to be choosy about where I shop so I can take advantage of the other aspects of grocery shopping (like convenience and being able to easily find items).

My four year old son and three year old daughter have been playing the board game Kids of Carcassonne almost constantly the last several days. They’ve roped grandparents into playing it, parents into playing it (I’ve played it countless times), and are even playing it just against each other.

I couldn’t be prouder.

This week, I tried to link to some blogs that I haven’t linked to before. There are a lot of good people out there writing personal finance stuff and I tend to link more to sites of the people I read frequently. This week, I made an effort to explore some other sites.

10 Key Characteristics of Debt-Free People (of Modest Means) I think nine of the ten apply to me. The one I disagree with is self-confidence – I really don’t have much because I have a very hard time reading other people and understanding where they’re coming from. (@ len penzo)

Investing Fiasco or Reminiscences on the Past There’s something about her writing style I really like… the phrase “banks were growing like mushrooms after the rain” made me really smile. (@ the kitchen sink)

What does Bush Tax Cuts mean to an average Joe? What did I get out of this article? The people that really benefited from the Bush tax cuts were people making more than $68,000 a year. Everyone else got … pretty much nothing. (@ wealth informatics)

10 Reasons Not to Buy a New Car I’ve become fairly ambivalent on the new vs. used issue, assuming that neither choice causes you to go into any sort of debt. (@ grad money matters)

Many financial “gurus” are in the seminar, coaching, and classwork business. They come up with course materials and attempt to sell them at a very high price to individuals who are scared for their financial future.

Some of these coaching programs are reputable ones. Many of them are not. Almost every week, I receive an email or a note from someone telling me about how these courses have made their life worse. Here’s one such story, from Ann (with specific references edited out, because I’m not interested in a specific libel war):

I take responsibility for the mistake I made in signing up for the coaching program, after expressing interest in [his] programs on his website. I was vulnerable after the death of my mother and wanted some guidance in dealing with a small inheritance.

The more I engaged with the various people at [that organization], the more I felt I’d been completely scammed. Overpriced, simplistic e-courses, coaching that is nothing but more sales pitches, shady business practices … you name it.

In the end, at least it woke me up and I took back some power by insisting that they give me my money back. I did eventually get most of it back, though still feel ripped off. These guys employ the worst business practices I’ve ever seen in my life. Refusing to respond to phone calls. No refunds after 3 days after enrolling, when how could you possibly know the program would be like at that point? Any reputable business is happy to keep their customers happy. Talking to these guys was surreal.

Through this experience, I lost every ounce of respect I had for [that person]. It truly was simply a scam. [...]

Like I said, I know it was my responsibility that I made the mistake of getting into the stupid program. It’s just horrible to see how these people prey on vulnerable types. They literally refused to provide me with a breakdown of the costs for the program components. What they were pro-rating me broke down to something truly outrageous like several hundred dollars an hour for coaching. A total scam.

For anyone who fell for the sales pitch, go after your money! I stood up to them and it did work. It also helped that I disputed the charges to them on my credit card, based on the fact that I didn’t receive the product I was sold. This did work.

This happens with an uncomfortably large number of personal finance courses out there. I have heard many, many horror stories that match Ann’s or worse, including people who have dumped (literally) tens of thousands of dollars into coaching and classwork only to find themselves worse off than they were before.

What’s the reason for this? Quite simply, such programs are sold as having all of the answers you need – but they don’t provide answers that you don’t already have. The material that makes up almost all of these seminar and coursework programs is information that you can gather on your own on the internet or from your local library. They’re just packaged together well.

The biggest thing that such courses provide that you can’t always find elsewhere is cheerleading. They take ideas that are already out there – like spending less than you earn, avoiding debt, and so on – and couple them with a strong “you can do it” attitude. Many of them also include some one-on-one coaching.

For some people, that’s really helpful. For many people, though, that same coaching benefit is available on blogs like The Simple Dollar for free My twice-weekly mailbag, for example, is the equivalent of someone standing up at a seminar, telling their problem, and having the people in the room talk about it.

My simple advice is this: never, ever invest in a course or a coaching system where it’s not absolutely clear in writing what you will gain from that course or coaching system. Make sure that you’re actually gaining something far beyond what you already have access to for free (or minimal cost) via sites like The Simple Dollar or the books at your local library.

If you want additional help or are interested in camaraderie, try to find a money buddy in your life or see if there are any personal finance groups at your local library or your local community center.

The route to personal finance success is not found by dropping hundreds or thousands of dollars on classes and coaches. It’s found from a desire for change inside of you and a willingness to step up to the plate and make changes in your own life. Spending thousands won’t give you that, and the exact things you need to do to actually make financial success happen can be found for free or very low cost elsewhere. That money spent on coursework is money that could be better used putting your financial life together.

Yes, there are good courses out there that help people, just as there are some sharks in the water. Even with the good courses, though, there’s a lot of expense for the coaching and coursework and, at the same time, a lot of opportunity to do it yourself.

Telling you this is literally costing me thousands of dollars. I’ve been asked to be an “affiliate” for many such courses, where I get paid a chunk of the money earned in order to convince people to take such courses, and I’ve even sat in on a few and read the materials from several of them. I won’t do it for one simple reason – I don’t talk about things on here that I myself wouldn’t use. And, to put it simply, I never have and will not use money courses until I’ve exhausted every resource available online or at my local library.

Reading For a long time (about two years), I got in a rut of reading very generic horror and fantasy novels. I would go to the bookstore, pick out two or three, and blow through them in a week, enjoying the rush but completely forgetting about them within three days after finishing.

This routine was fairly expensive. The books I was reading were in mass market paperback, so I could pick them up for $7 each, but the cost of three of them a week was $20. That’s $1,040 a year.

I decided to focus on reading some fiction that would make me think about the world and stick with me longer, so I adopted a list of Pulitzer Prize winners for fiction as a reading list. The problem was that when I first went to the bookstore to find early entrants on the list, they were unavailable. I eventually turned to my local library (and to PaperBackSwap) to read the books – and the cost of reading went down with this new challenge.

Gaming For several years, I was a heavy player of Magic: the Gathering, a collectible card game (J.D. at Get Rich Slowly also played). My wife also played, but not as competitively. It can be addictively fun to play, but in order to keep playing and acquire new cards to change the gameplay, a player has to purchase new packs and single cards. This can really add up if you’re not careful, to the tune of hundreds of dollars a year.

At some point, I began to realize that the person I most enjoyed playing with was my wife and that we really enjoyed playing with a mix of older and newer cards. This led me to discover a new way of playing which didn’t require me to buy new cards at all. Instead, we just continue to play over and over again with a big pile of cards I already own, removing the expensive collectible nature without removing the aspects that make the game fun. That’s a big chunk of savings right there.

Gardening Until very recently, my wife and I would buy lots of starter plants and seeds each year to get our garden started – and that would be a real cost.

Recently, though, we’ve become more and more interested in trying heirloom varieties – ones that you can actually save the seeds from and grow again next year if you like them. The startup cost is a little higher, but once you find varieties you like, there’s much less cost from year to year.

Our plan now is to start growing everything from seed in our basement in February under a grow light so that we can put very healthy starts from our own seeds in the garden in late April or early May. No more expensive starts, no more trips to the store to buy seeds.

What’s the point of these three stories? In each case, I had a hobby that required a significant amount of upkeep cost to keep the hobby going – new books, new cards, and new seeds and starts. In each case, by seeking out new challenges within that hobby, I took a serious whack at those ongoing upkeep costs, and yet I’m still deeply enjoying those hobbies.

If you have a hobby that has a significant upkeep cost, ask yourself if there isn’t a better way of doing things. Is there a new challenge or a new angle you can take on that hobby? Do you really need new equipment all the time, or is there a way to reuse what you have?

Research is your friend. Visit websites where others practice the hobby you enjoy. Ask them for ideas on how to save money on the upkeep costs. Look for specific ways of enjoying your hobby that minimize those upkeep costs – particularly those that provide you with a new challenge.

After I finish writing this post, I’m going to retreat to the basement and practice my piano playing on an old keyboard using sheet music given to me by an ex-piano teacher – and I’ll enjoy it greatly.