But the fact that the guy seems to expect that it is only the daughter who might not go (and not because her vocational interest lie elsewhere, but because he would support her having NO other training and simply becoming a mother that would be left with no employable skills should her husband leave or die), and the thought of spending the worth of a college education on a wedding day (of course only on the daughter, not the son) make me very sad for this family. Sure, he’s ‘encouraging choices’, but very different choices based on sex. And that’s not cool.

A person can be a loving, well-meaning parent who wants the best for their child, and still be sexist. Good intentions don’t always bring good results.

Yes, it can be overwhelming to look for an apartment. I would see if your county or town has a housing office where you can read up on housing laws and tenant’s rights. Or check out some local news sites or blogs where people ask questions about housing issues.

If you can read through a sample lease, and go through it with a leasing agent or landlord, they can probably answer a lot of questions for you. Most leases aren’t really as scary as they seem-they just have a lot of clauses to cover the landlord in case you turn out to be a bad tenant.

It behooves you to ask about fees and rules that you would have to follow. Find out about amenity and utility fees, move in and move out fees and rules, parking, community regulations and rules, rules about using or reserving common areas, rules about ending your lease and how early you have to notify them. Renters’ insurance is often required. It is legal (at least where I’m from) to charge move-in/move-out fees, often you can only move during certain hours, and you may have to reserve a time. That was probably the most surprising “fine print” thing for me. This may not be in your lease, so ask for a copy of the community rules if they have one.

One shady practice is when a landlord wants YOU to pay upfront when repairs are needed and says he/she will pay you back. You are not his/her personal loan service, and that is essentially what that kind of arrangement is. I’d stay away from that.

Find out how personally invested your landlord is in his/her property. Did he/she live there before? Are they planning to return eventually? Is he/she planning to make any upgrades soon? Do they want to rent it for awhile? People like that will have a lot more interest in maintaining the value of their home and thus will probably be more responsive to any concerns you would have. People who want to find out if YOU are a responsible tenant and have a screening process also can make great landlords.

Leasing agents for apartment complexes can be shady. While apartment complexes can be OK, just know you really have to be on your A game and look around with a good checklist. Don’t believe everything they promise or say. Interpret any guarantees to the very minimum.

On a final note, to my understanding, landlords and leasing agents aren’t supposed to disclose details about their current tenants. So, if you find a landlord who is offering up all kind of personal information about the current tenant, such as where they work, etc, beware that this landlord does not respect people’s privacy and may do the same to you.

Drew, if you could even stand to read this far, I agree with the above posters re: 529 for the whole family will probably work best. The “penalties” are not so scary. Just talk to the person who set up the first one for you.

“@39. The only reason he gave for not setting up a 529 for his youngest child is that she’s girl. And she’ll get married and never go to college.

People are pointing out that it’s not fair to assume his daughter won’t go to college and his son will soley based on their gender.”

Please point out where I infered/implied that he was going to cause harm to his daughter?

I misread his question because he did throw college out there as a possilbity but his main focus is that she’s going to want to get married over going to college.

Look I realize he was basing this on what his wife and mother have done (no mentin of his mother in law though) and that’s fine. But things have changed.

Not only that but the idea of women getting college degrees and working outside the home is not some new thing. Both my grandmothers worked one went to college the other didn’t. All of my grandparents expected their children, regardless of gender, to go to college and all of them did.

Many of my great aunts had college degrees as well because it was expected that they would go to college.

2 of my 4 great grandmothers not only worked to provide for their families (one due to divorce – and this was in the late 20s/early 30s) the other to being widowed.

Many of my great aunts worked and had college degrees. All of my aunts have college degrees because that’s what their parents encouraged them to do and expected of their children.

I’ve never experienced these “traditional gender roles” within my family. So my experiences were different. Mom stayed home when until we went to school and then she was back at work. My maternal grandfather shared childraising duties with my grandmother -I grew up hearing about how he would change diapers and feed the babies and go out and by kotex without being bothered by it.

My paternal grandfather was more traditional but he still wanted his daughters and granddaughters to go to college and have jobs.

The reality is that 50% of marriages fail. 50% of women will at some point likely have to pay the bills, even if just during divorce proceedings. It is fine to forgo college, and be a SAHM, but the poverty rates for single divorced mothers, and the very real risk of divorce, are enough for me to encourage my daughter to be equally prepared to support herself as my son. If after acquiring a marketable skill (in anything, with or without college) she then decided to stay home with her children, I would be thrilled for her! Same as I would be for my son!

I hope Drew considers making both savings equally flexible.

Interested reader – I directly attributing a quote to you, just saying the general tone was that Drew’s daughter would never recover from this horrible injustice.

For clarification, I don’t think a ton of money should be spent on a wedding (mine cost <$200) or a ring. I am a woman (in case the name didn’t give that away) and an engineer. I put myself through college, not because my parents couldn’t afford it, but because I was an adult and adults should make their own way. I was terrible grateful for any support (gifts) my parents gave.

And I didn’t miss the point that most were making, I just disagree. I don’t think Drew is damaging his daughter (or her future) by saying that she may want to go to college (which he said) or she may want to be a stay at home mom (which is a fine thing to do). I did read all the comments. But the comments don’t change what Drew said and thus should not drastically change my opinion of what he said.
“However, in the case that she may not want to pursue college…”
I don’t see anything inherently offensive about that statement nor almost any thing that could be directly followed by it. I suppose some are offended because he wants her to get married? Or is it because he expects his daughter’s future husband (if he exists, because he Drew just made provisions for the possibility) to take care of her? Really the problem is feminism has gotten so radically out of control that any mention of traditional gender roles is considered a slur. I appreciate the comment earlier that said maybe one possible dream Drew has for his daughter is that she grow up to be like one of his two favorite women in the world. Is that really so cruel a dream? “How dare you allow for the possibility that you will want to be like your mother or grandmother!” Drew appears to want to plan to support his daughter in whatever role she chooses. Really the problem is Drew has respect for women who chose to follow traditional gender roles, and those who had a fit do not.

Poor Drew! The only mistake he might have made is that he didn’t consider giving his son a choice as well. I think that many of you are attacking him based on the 5-word summary attached to his question– “Saving for a Wedding”– which was applied to the question by TRENT, not Drew!

I consider myself a pretty solid equalist (I dislike the term “feminist”), and I think that in this case, as I said previously, that the only real problem is that he is willing to spend more to allow only his daughter a choice.

Keep in mind that the girl’s mother AND grandmother elected to manage the home instead of the finances, and did not go to college. The truth is, it is much, much easier for hetero women to find a husband to bring home the bacon than it is for a hetero man. Perhaps you should call his WIFE sexist for staying home and “making” Drew go to work!

Or maybe you should not call anyone sexist, and you should enter responses that pertain to the root of the question itself– “Is there a savings vehicle that is similar to the 529 that would serve as a multi-purpose investing option?”

Drew– It is wonderful that you are being so proactive with your children’s futures. I hope the negativity in these reader comments didn’t make you feel bad.

Specifically, your Roth is invested with a long time horizon and little immediate need for liquidity. You can usually afford more risk and need higher returns, so that generally means relatively more volatile asset classes such as stocks, REITs, and intermediate-to-longer-term bonds.

An emergency fund, on the other hand, needs to be very stable and liquid. It’s not primarily intended to earn returns beyond inflation. You’d normally want that money in less volatile assets such as savings accounts and money market mutual funds.

They’re two entirely different investment goals, and they therefore require strategies that don’t necessarily mix together well.

The key if you go into the trades is to live below your means for awhile and build a huge nest egg — Most kids could buy a house for cash by the time they were 30 and be financially independent very early in life if everyone would just take a step back and crunch some numbers.

The idea that a girl might *not* be expected to pursue a post-secondary education in favour of getting married and having children is offensive to me.

I agree with Johanna — you missed our point entirely.