Comments on: You Can’t Make Someone Be Who You Want Them to Be

By: AniVee

AniVee — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 02:39:26 +0000

This was a great post, Trent! I was finding the blog a little too “Zen” for my frugalista personality lately but this was Great! In Latinamerica the “iron hand in the velvet glove” is really very effective – patience, patience, positive reinforcement, encouragement … nothing is accomplished immediately…. but can be achieved…” – I used to see this as “manipulative” but if you are really achieveing goals you both really want is the end result, then this is indeed one method that works!

By: Eve Mathis

Eve Mathis — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 17:30:28 +0000

you can give positive reinforcement, talk about “wow look how much money I saved”, or yell. The bottom line for me is you cant make anyone do something unless they want to…I think that in life there are good parents, bad parents, good savers, horrible savers, or ggod cooks and bad cooks etc… LIke I always say ” It is what it is”. I think if I l look back and really look at my partners horrible financial habits when we were dating , the bad financial habits were there ,but I thought he would change..

By: Evangeline

Evangeline — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 13:54:41 +0000

In order for a person to change, he/she must want to. Otherwise, no matter what method you use, it’s simply beating your head against a brick wall. The best you can hope for is present your case in the best possible light, lead by example and do what you think is right. Hopefully, the other person will catch on. If not, the next step is finding a happy medium. None of these are easy steps, but can be often be achieved.

By: Gretchen

Gretchen — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 13:18:00 +0000

If you were a wife, this could be called “being a nag.”

By: Jules

Jules — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 07:06:13 +0000

Actually, you can. It’s called “positive reinforcement” and/or “selective bribery” :-) Think of it as training cats :-D

By: AnneKD

AnneKD — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 02:49:59 +0000

This is also applicable to exercising or losing weight or learning how to do things. Thanks Trent.