For example, I’ve been active in working to end the dolphin slaughter in Taiji, Japan. It’s incredibly frustrating at times, and the controversies are many. There are a lot of negative aspects of focusing my time and attention on this issue and I often find myself angry and disgusted, but I’d never dream of turning my back on it and walking away.

I’m an Environmental Science major and am constantly learning about environmental issues that are scary, depressing, upsetting and the controversy surrounding these issues (Climate Change, for example) are filled with negativity. I couldn’t turn my back on these issues because it’s easier to ignore them than to work to find solutions, even if it would mean that my life would be a little “better.”

What I’m getting at is that there are just some things that are too important to just walk away from. Sometimes people need to buck up and deal with the challenges. That doesn’t mean we ought to spread the negativity through negative comments and attitudes. Then again, that’s how some people vent and allows them to blow off steam instead of keeping it all bottled inside…

There’s plenty of other comments I’d like to respond to, but that would take far too much time, so I’ll just go with – Trent, I agree!

@tentaculistic, as someone who also spent a childhood being negative, here’s a trick I used: Use “good manners” as a cruch until it comes naturally. I found that whenever I found myself wanting to drift towards being negative with family or friends, I would ask “would I speak this way or frame this issue in this way if I was speaking to a new employer or client or elderly relative or child?”. That kept me from falling into patterns of defaulting to snide comments meant to hurt, or disparaging comments that I justified as being “the truth as I saw it”.

Another approach I would take whenever I didn’t like something would be to start prefacing all my complaints with “This is my problem, but there is a solution out there that I am smart enough to find and implement”. Negativity likes to place blame elsewhere; placing the responsibility for finding the solution on yourself keeps you focused on what you can do, and not what others have done.

@johanna – I don’t think negativity and positivity are necessarily synonymous with moods. I think moods are reflective of many things including our general mindset; that is, I think it’s possible to be in a bad mood and still be a positive person, because it’s not like bad things don’t happen to optimistic people. I think the difference is proactivity: I don’t place blame on the negative person in the office for being a downer. I just distance myself from them as much as possible because I have better things to do than listen to complaints that don’t welcome solutions or criticisms not meant to improve the work

Trent says “No more blame…no more excuses,” but I see a lot of blame in this post – placed squarely on the “negative people.” It’s the negative person’s fault that the project isn’t moving forward. It’s the negative person’s fault that everyone else in the office is miserable. It’s the negative person’s fault that his or her own life is miserable. Etc., etc.

If we’re going to take responsibility for our own choices and our own lives, how about we extend that to realize that it’s not anyone else’s job to make sure we’re in a good mood, and short of outright verbal abuse (which pointing out a spelling mistake is not), it’s not anyone else’s fault that we’re in a bad mood?

Also, there’s certainly a difference between negativity and constructive criticism (hence the word “constructive”) — but one can make good criticism without needing to be Eeyore.

Constructive criticism (also towards yourself) is one thing – it should definitely be encouraged!

The other thing is constantly bitching about things you either cannot change (e.g., foreign policy of your country?) or are not willing to change (e.g, habits, lifestyle). Just leave it and move on…

Of course, it’s ok to have a bad day every now and then. But a bad life?

Most of us are idiots at one time or another and can learn something from even the most seemingly unlikely source. I’m still my sarcastic little self, but I mainly use it to make fun of my own shortcomings and misadventures or to see the absurdity of situations in general.

Being less negative has made my life much happier and I highly recommend the book. Good luck.

Now that’s a positive spin on negativity!

I always thought the word snarky should be replaced with snide- to me they are the same- and then it would not be cool to be so :)

It is obvious you read the comments, because many posts, like this one, are a clear reaction to recent comment sections.

So here’s my question – how do you go about making that kind of seachange shift away from reflex negativity? From people who have walked that walk, how did you do it? Are there books that helped you, or tricks?

hile I do agree with the overall premise of this post, I know of a few people who are overly positive (optomistic) to their own detriment and to the detriment of others.

Touche.

Hahah, thank you, your comment made my day. I was very amused by how many people responded with at complaint about *other* negative people without realizing the irony of their comments.

I agree with 95% of this post.

Now, I was a little lost on the intro, because Trent’s original description – going out and being as snarky as possible – is sort of my ideal evening with friends NOW. Except we don’t make fun of other people, we make fun of each other. Sarcasm and loving mockery is our favorite form of entertainment and I don’t see it as particularly negative – when it’s done in the right spirit and with people who share that sense of humor. So yeah, his evenings sounded very much more mean-spirited than how I think of a snarky evening spent with friends.

But what I really don’t agree with is the idea that noticing and commenting on errors is negative behavior. Nitpicky, sure. Often really darn annoying? Definitely. Negative? Not in the slightest.

Passive aggressiveness, however, is totally a negative behavior!

Hope this helps.

I think people subconsciously realize that it’s easier to be negative than positive because it’s less work. And, most people are lazy, so it’s easier to be negative and point fingers. As I’m typing this I’m realizing I’m pointing fingers!!

Isn’t that part of being a “good partner” -paying attention to what someone is saying, even if they are pointing out errors that might undermine your message?