Comments on: Sunshine

By: Stephanie

Stephanie — Wed, 04 May 2011 01:36:21 +0000

I would probably be willing to share my financial situation openly with my family and my boyfriend. I’d probably be willing to share with close friends if they asked, since they know I’m into personal finance. But I don’t think I just share it out of the blue. I’d only share if someone asked or was curious, or if we were talking about finances already.

By: Tony

Tony — Fri, 22 Apr 2011 18:32:09 +0000

A personal finance blogger that does not want his readers to know his personal finance situation. mmmmm. Ironic, isn’t it?

By: aj

aj — Thu, 21 Apr 2011 14:03:50 +0000

I agree with Emma…it is what it is. I am not proud of what it has been in the past, but I am proud for the progress we have made over the last few years. I am proud of my plan for the future, and proud that I have the support of my wonderful dh. We are a team — in it to win it :)

We are flat-ass broke at the moment but by the end of this year we will have a $5000 emergency fund in place, and have $360 less monthly payments so we are in a good position for the winter months when my husband doesn’t have much work. We feel like squirrels stocking up for the winter, lol.

It has taken a long time to dig ourselves out to this point and this is the year that we finally get back into the black.

I openly discuss all of our financials with our teen children, trying to teach them some PF along the way. I want them to have a better understanding of PF than I did when I got thrust out into “real life.”

In fact just last night I was explaining to my daughter (and dh) how I had just applied for a hardship withdrawal from my 401k. Something I definitely do not like to do but the money is needed for some very basic necessities (house payment) for next month until my dh gets some $$ flowing in. But I also explained what my investment plan is for the future & using a 401k estimator – what my estimated balance would be when I retire. I explained the importance of getting started early and showed just how much that compounded interest is worth over the years.

My parents seem to have done well for themselves but they certainly never let me in on any of the details! So, no, I probably wouldn’t share with them now, either, lol. But I must prepare my kids so they learn from my mistakes and be ahead in the game.

By: Emma

Emma — Wed, 20 Apr 2011 19:13:37 +0000

I disagree with your logic. I would share my financial situation with anyone – but not because I’m proud of it or even satisfied with it. It is what it is, and my sharing it with my partner, my parents, or a stranger on the street neither harms the situation nor improves it.

By: getagrip

getagrip — Mon, 18 Apr 2011 13:24:20 +0000

I don’t talk real numbers with most of my family because though I don’t feel I make a lot for my profession, compared to my family I’m “rolling in it” and as others have mentioned there is a real fear I’ll become the family “bank”. I think this is particularly true in many families who have the struggling sibling or relative who is tapping out the parents or one of the other siblings and they are looking for someone to carry on the financial bleeding, either to latch on to or to relieve them of the burden. I’ve shared some information with my mother, and I know she’s considered cutting me out of any inheritance (not that there’s much there) because I don’t “need” it and one of my leeching siblings does. Ditto for my mother-in-law, though she’s more interested in passing our “share” through to our kids.

With most of my family and friends I talk more in percentages and general goals. I’m saving x percent of my salary, or x percent towards college for the kids, and I think that will help this way, etc. I find people are more open to talking that way than real numbers.

By: TheBudgeteer

TheBudgeteer — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 20:57:49 +0000

As a Budget Coach, I’m deeply concerned about this issue. There is a notion that it is “Not polite to talk about money.” That kind thinking can have some pretty terrible results.
Most major financial catastrophes, like bankruptcy, started out as relatively small problems with easy solutions. Being secretive only makes things worse.

By: kristine

kristine — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 12:35:41 +0000

Lurker Carl, Evangeline:
“What size do you wear, how much do you make, and how much do you weigh?’ should not be asked in polite company”

Regarding money- do you ask yourself how this social moray developed, and is that framework still valid? (The others have to do with the private body itself, and I agree.)

I would share my finances with anyone I personally know and trust, who asked me. I think opacity has always favored the “haves” to avoid resentment, and historically- uprisings. But I agree about not wanting to be the family bank- I have a loan seeking relative who sniffs out anyone’s good fortune quickly, and is at their door.

The only thing I wold be uncomfortable sharing is my year’s “gift” budget- which has people, events, and budgeted amounts. Often- the lowest budgeted amount is assigned to people I care for dearly- for them I spend time and make something grand.

By: Evangeline

Evangeline — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 12:09:12 +0000

I agree with #24 lurker carl. It really isn’t anyone’s business. ‘What size do you wear, how much do you make, and how much do you weigh?’ should not be asked in polite company. It isn’t about letting a little sunshine in on the matter; it is all about good manners.

By: Peggy

Peggy — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 11:15:35 +0000

Some of you will honestly answer this question with a resounding “Sure!” To those of you, I say congratulations. Your finances are in a situation that you’re happy with and that you’re proud enough of that you’re willing to let the sunshine in.

This comment makes an assumption that only those who are in a good financial situation will share, or that those who will share are in a good status. I have no issues with showing my debts/spending/saving spreadsheet and I am in a bad situation. I have shown this info to a couple of people while I would make tweaks to the spreadsheet and was I got from it was that it was more interesting, exciting and helpful to me, than it was to them. Of course, if the spreadsheet showed I had a lot of money – it would be another story.

By: Danielle

Danielle — Sat, 16 Apr 2011 08:39:47 +0000

I have a habit of buying things and then struggling to tell my husband that I’ve bought them. To be thinking more on this habit and what I plan to do about it (change or not change) is the message I got from this post.

Thanks for the thought provoking post.

By: moom

moom — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 23:52:23 +0000

My wife and my brother have the full financial picture because it is all up on my blog and they know who I am. I tell anyone who is interested what my salary is because it is on our university website. But I don’t go around telling other people what my net worth is. Especially, if they knew how much money we could actually access reasonably fast by liquidating non-retirement investments. Those who I hint at this tend to be shocked that I could have so much in accessible savings. Usually, it is in terms of “I’m not worried about being out of work for a while”. Both of us could be out of work for about 5-6 years actually….

By: Courtney20

Courtney20 — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 22:32:26 +0000

Sharing salary or spending has never bothered me personally. We make $154K a year. And a few minutes ago I just spend $60 buying clothes for friends’ kids. Little pants and shirts *slay* me :-)

By: Julia

Julia — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 20:30:45 +0000

I think I’m in that resounding “sure” category – when it comes to my finances.

Then I thought about it a bit more closely and came up with a few things I wouldn’t volunteer. But it wasn’t the financial aspect of these things that bother me – it’s how I spend my time.
I don’t like to tell people how much I spend on my gym membership – except when I’m going regularly.
I don’t like to tell people how much I’ve spent on games – unless I’m talking about selling them because I no longer play them because I’ve been doing other things.
I don’t like telling coworkers how much I make – because I often question whether or not I deserve it – because I’m not good at managing my time.

I’m perfectly comfortable talking about finances – I’m living well below my means, making great progress paying off my debt, and when it comes to the rest, well, I don’t sweat the small stuff so long as I’m staying within my discretionary budget and everything else is on plan.

Another thought provoking post. Thanks Trent.

By: marta

marta — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 19:55:51 +0000

I don’t do the full financial disclosure thing either, but I’m a private person. I am not ashamed of my spending whatsoever, and I prefer not to be specific about income, even with friends and family.It can be tricky, especially among peers. There is this misconception that connects one’s worth to her income (“the more you earn, the more worthy, important, yadda yadda, you are”), which is BS.

By: Pat S.

Pat S. — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 19:26:39 +0000

I don’t think I would. Not because of shame, but rather because I’m just a private person like that.

I always find it amazing when a personal finance blogger shares that kind of information. At the same time, its incredibly compelling.

By: Anne

Anne — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 18:34:21 +0000

I’m perfectly comfortable sharing information about my finances with friends. I live within my means but just barely. But that’s because I don’t make very much money, even though I work 2 jobs. And that’s why I would never share information about my salary with my family because I’m confident that I would be judged for being such an economic/career “failure”.

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 18:18:22 +0000

@Kerry D (#13) – You and I received the same message from this post. It sounds like Trent is working on self-improvement and using TSD as a way to motivate others to do the same. I think it would do us all good to think about which parts of our lives (financial or otherwise) we would be uncomfortable sharing with those around us and consider the reasons for that. It may not be that the actions themselves need to change, just the way we perceive the actions or other reactions to them.

By: *pol

*pol — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 18:13:28 +0000

We don’t have full financial disclosure because it’s not their business, but if a dear close friend or family member asks, I will happily share the truth. “We are living within our means, debt free (except the small mortgage) have enough to have modest fun and save a bit for a rainy day.” Anyone casually looking at us might say we were average. Older nice car, very old good running truck, nothing fancy, not alot new — in fact my own family calls me CHEAP on a regular basis. But the truth is we are happy with the way we live and what we have, and our personal comfort is more important to us than outward appearances.

By: Tara C

Tara C — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 18:12:08 +0000

I really liked this post – I went through a period of many years where I was deeply embarrassed about my spending habits and my credit card debts, and prayed that I would not be incapacitated or killed before I got the debts paid off so my parents would not find out how irresponsible I had been. Now that I am solvent and in good shape, I feel comfortable knowing that if something happened to me, I would not have to be embarrassed to have my finances exposed.

That said, I do not usually discuss my income or financial picture other than my 401K portfolio with my dad who is a good investor and helps me choose funds to invest in.

By: lurker carl

lurker carl — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 18:03:22 +0000

No one knows how much my wife and I earn because that information is none of their business. Only a handful of people have a vague idea but probably could not guess with any accuracy. No one knows our net worth and I doubt if anyone has any clue from our lifestyle and material possessions. We do not hide our consumer spending, hobbies, etc but I don’t really see or understand the purpose in doing so. Family and friends assume we are financially secure but have no inkling as to details. Casual acquaintances and strangers assume we are working class stiffs from all outward appearances and activities.

We don’t have anything to hide due to embarrassment or shame, only sound reasons for keeping our finances private.