Every Sunday, The Simple Dollar reviews a personal finance or other book of interest. Also available is a complete list of the hundreds of book reviews that have appeared on The Simple Dollar over the years.

Every once in a while, I’ll choose to read a personal finance book that’s clearly targeting women, like this one is (the subtitle of this book, Emotional Currency by Kate Levinson, is “A Woman’s Guide to Building a Healthy Relationship with Money”). I’m a guy, of course, so I’m not really in the audience that these books are shooting for.

So why do I read?

First, I try to look at the book through the eyes of my wife. What value would she find in this book? Is it something that I’ll drop on her bedside stand when I’m finished with it?

Second, I look for ways where the book obviously points towards the specific audience. What does this book say specifically to women that’s different from more general personal finance advice that applies directly to both men and women?

Money as Emotional Currency
Levinson opens the book by arguing that we use money to placate our emotions as best we can. We cover our worries by taking care of our basic living requirements. We handle our cravings. We handle our desire to help others by giving to charity. Simply put, we use money to handle what we feel emotionally, either by alleviating our negative feelings or causing positive feelings. The challenge is that, often, we can reach a point where we use our money to alleviate even the tiniest emotion with money, buying ourselves countless things because we somewhat want them, and that can result in financial problems (a much deeper worry than whether or not to buy a specific item we vaguely want).

Writing Your Money Memoir
When you start considering the idea of money as emotional currency, you begin to see how complicated it can be. Emotions can push us in opposing directions all the time. It is that complex knot of emotions that can leave us confused and can lead us to making money mistakes. Levinson encourages people to work through all of this by starting a “money memoir,” which is in essence a journal about money issues and your relationship with money. What are your experiences with money? What did you learn about it when you were young? What did your parents do? What significant interactions have you had with others with regard to your money? Levinson offers a ton of specific advice here on making this happen.

What Shapes Your Relationship to Money?
Self-worth. A sense of abundance and deprivation. Safety. Autonomy and dependency. Envy. Greed. These are all aspects of who we are and they each have different impacts on all of us. These factors shape how we think about money and how it relates to our lives. The deeper we reflect on our own natures, particularly in these areas, the healthier our relationship with money becomes. Why are we envious of others? Why are we greedy? What about our self-worth?

Women and Money
I was expecting to cringe when reading this chapter, but the issue of gender differences and money was handled quite well here. There are big cultural differences between how men and women handle and interact with money, let alone some biological differences (which you can see in differing values and behaviors). Again, Levinson takes the approach that reflection and thought on these issues can lead to a greater understanding, and that greater understanding can lead directly to stronger money decisions.

Fear and Confidence
Levinson spends this chapter (and the next two) focusing specifically on emotions that create a great challenge for good money usage. We often use money to try to avoid our fears and boost our confidence (think about buying clothes to look good in the eyes of others, for one). Quite often, though, that money doesn’t really help to solve the problem we’re hoping to solve. So often, we’re judged by the things we can’t control or by aspects of who we are that we can control without spending money that, frankly, spending loads of money on the narrow things we can throw money at don’t help at all.

Shame and Pride
Are you ashamed of your money situation? Are you proud of it? Why do you feel either way? Moderate pride is perhaps the most healthy state, where you don’t feel a need to constantly “show” others the financial rewards that your life holds for you. Instead, use that pride to channel yourself to be a better person.

Love
How you use your money is often an expression of love. When you give money to others, whether as a gift or as a charitable donation, it’s often done as an expression of love for other people. How do you decide how to give, though? It’s never an easy question, particularly when you have a lot of things you care about. Levinson walks through this thought process deftly.

Healing Your Relationship to Money
While going through the issues raised in the previous chapters, you’ve likely found some issues that are in a damaged state for you. How do you heal? Levinson walks the reader through some self-help steps in this chapter with the intention of moving toward a healthier balance for a certain issue.

Is Emotional Currency Worth Reading?
The book’s focus is on our emotional connections to money and how a fraying of that connection can result in serious financial hardships. Most of the book focuses on making those damaged connections clear, largely trusting that once those damaged connections are clear, fixing them is relatively easy (since the book spends limited time there). In other words, the book focuses on diagnosis and trusts that the mountain of personal finance help out there can help with fixing the problem. I like that approach as it creates a more thought-provoking book.

Although this book seems to target women on the cover, I tend to think that’s mostly just marketing and a sense that emotional issues are just “women’s business,” a marketing direction that I don’t like. I found value in this book, and I think you will, too.

Check out additional reviews and notes of Emotional Currency on Amazon.com.

Over the last month, I’ve received many emails from followers of Harold Camping, a Christian radio host who is claiming that Jesus will return to Earth and the end of the world will occur within the year. One such email:

If you were truly serving your readers in these times, you would provide advice for how to prepare your assets for such an event.

First of all, I don’t believe in Camping’s prediction. At all. If nothing else, the Bible itself – the document that Camping’s predictions should theoretically be based upon – clearly states that no one can accurately predict the end of the world (Matthew 24:36 and Mark 13:32 are pretty clear in that regard).

However, the reader does bring up an interesting idea. How should you plan financially if you truly believe that a calamity is coming?

For starters, I would never, ever put myself in a position where my family would be destitute after such an event. I would never burn through my assets in the short term. Instead, I would just make absolutely sure that I had an estate plan that put my assets in a good place after I passed. In other words, I’d make sure that my assets were in a place so that those who survived whatever I believed was coming would have an improved chance at a quality life. This might mean leaving things to my family first, and then, in the event that they weren’t around, I’d give that money to organizations that might use it in a helpful fashion.

At the same time, I would focus on building useful skills. This serves two purposes. One, if such an event does happen, I would be prepared with basic skills to handle whatever may come. I would know how to cook meals. I would know how to grow vegetables. I would know basic first aid. In essence, I’d be of useful assistance no matter what the situation. On the other hand, if such an event doesn’t happen, I’m still at least somewhat more able to handle the world around me.

What skills would I focus on? I’d make sure I could provide for my basic needs as best as possible. Can I prepare food? Can I forage in my area? Can I communicate well? Can I hunt? Can I do basic first aid? For the most part, these aren’t just useful in a desperate situation, but they’re also useful in everyday life.

Similarly, I don’t think it’s ever a bad idea to have some bulk food and water in reserve, as long as you’re actively using it before it expires. Having such things in reserve can come in great handy if you’re ever caught in a severe crisis, like a natural disaster. Thinking that “it can’t happen to me” is usually a mistake. Earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, floods, blizzards, and other such events do happen. Mother Nature can be a harsh mistress.

Here’s the real key of it: basic supplies and skills are never a bad idea. They can come in handy during the best of times and certainly during the worst of times.

However, sacrificing your financial future is a mistake, no matter how certain you are of a cataclysmic event. All the faith in the world does not bring the power to predict what will happen in the future. We do not know what future anyone holds for us, God or nature or otherwise. All we can do is prepare for the breadth of possibilities, good and bad.

How do you cook pasta? I’m willing to bet there are a least a couple simple things you can do to make better pasta faster with fewer dishes to clean.

How do you fold a t-shirt? It seems really straightforward and routine, but most likely, you’re folding it inefficiently and there’s a more efficient way of doing it.

How do you chop an onion? Most people don’t really think about it too much, but there’s a pretty straightforward and quick way to do it.

Think about your money management techniques, for example. I’m willing to bet that, for most of you, you’re either doing the same thing your parents taught you how to do (or you learned as a young adult) or you’re only using something different because the system you were using was part of some sort of failure.

Over and over again in life, we find one way of doing something that works and don’t bother seeking a better solution. We assume the way we’re doing it must be “good enough” and we keep repeating it until we’re either slapped in the face with a better solution or we discover that the way we were doing things is causing other problems.

When I was younger, still single and without a family, I learned a set of techniques for living that were often inefficient. They got the job done, but they often took a long time, got poor results, and sometimes had other hidden problems. I had atrocious ways of filing papers. I barely knew how to do laundry. I would make a mangled mess out of the simplest dishes. Eventually, I reached a minimal level of doing these things that worked in a very basic way.

As my family grew and the demands on my time and money grew along with it, I came to realize that many of those “good enough” tactics simply weren’t good enough. I had to learn new techniques.

At first, it was the big things. The Simple Dollar chronicles the new approaches I took to money management, for example.

Eventually, though, I came to find that there was almost as much money and time to be saved in the little techniques.

Here’s an example of what I mean. When I was single, a really slow and rudimentary technique for folding shirts was good enough. I’d do my laundry, pop in a movie, and fold clothes in the living room while it was on. Now, I’m often folding two baskets full of clothes for two adults and three children. With that old technique, I’d be folding clothes all day. By simply halving the time it takes to fold a t-shirt (say, ten seconds down to five), I can save myself quite a bit of time. When I was single, such efficiency didn’t matter. Today, it really does make a big difference, not just because of the amount to be folded, but because I have many other demands on my time.

Another example comes from making a spaghetti dinner for my family. When I first learned how to cook, I would often take up three or four pans to turn out some suboptimal pasta. Today, because I know how useful it is to make a good meal quickly and how much time I can save by minimizing dishes, I can use a single pot to make some fantastic spaghetti using a number of little tricks I learned along the way. I don’t use a colander to strain off the water – instead, I pour out as much water as I can and leave some of that pasta water right in there. I make the sauce right on top of the pasta. I trust my own sample tasting instead of the time on the package. In the end, I have a great pasta dinner for everyone with far fewer dishes and far more happy bellies.

It’s those little techniques that make the difference – and our lives are chock full of those little techniques. How we brush our teeth. How we take a shower. How we do our laundry. How we commute. How we prepare supper. Almost all of these things – and countless others – can be improved upon with a little focus.

Let’s look at that shirt folding thing again. Folding laundry was something that used to take me an hour or so a week when I was single. As my family grew, the time this took also grew (for myself and Sarah together, of course). Spending an extra couple of hours one week to learn some new techniques from the internet and practice them until they felt natural paid dividends in that it halved the laundry folding time in future weeks.

The pasta dinner? I often read cooking technique books for fun and I’m almost always pulling ideas out of the text. Sure, it might not be the most purely fun reading in the world, but it’s enjoyable, and it translates directly into time saved in the kitchen with almost every meal through better cooking and fewer dishes.

Money management? The techniques I learned from just a few books have made a gigantic difference in my money.

The point I’m trying to make here is that almost anything in your life can produce extra money, time, or quality if you invest a bit of time and energy learning how to do it better. Read a cooking technique book. Look for laundry folding tips on YouTube. Don’t be afraid to Google for hygiene tips. Read the owner’s manual in your car.

Things like this are little time investments, yes. However, they pay dividends every single day when they add a few miles per gallon to your car’s efficiency, save you from washing two extra pans each night, keep you from getting a cold, or reduce the time you spend in the laundry room. These kinds of changes save us money. They save us time. They save us energy. All of those things can instead be used by the things we value most in life, whatever they happen to be.

What sort of techniques are we going to learn today?

Each week, I highlight ten things each week that inspired me to greater financial, personal, and professional success. Hopefully, they will inspire you as well.

1. Barbara Kingsolver on community
This is an extended bit from a speech by the author Barbara Kingsolver in 2008:

This is an ancient human social construct that once was common in this land. We called it a community. We lived among our villagers, depending on them for what we needed. If we had a problem, we did not discuss it over the phone with someone in Bhubaneswar. We went to a neighbor. We acquired food from farmers. We listened to music in groups, in churches or on front porches. We danced. We participated. Even when there was no money in it. Community is our native state. You play hardest for a hometown crowd. You become your best self. You know joy. This is not a guess; there is evidence. The scholars who study social well-being can put it on charts and graphs. In the last 30 years our material wealth has increased in this country, but our self-described happiness has steadily declined. Elsewhere, the people who consider themselves very happy are not in the very poorest nations, as you might guess, nor in the very richest. The winners are Mexico, Ireland, Puerto Rico, the kinds of places we identify with extended family, noisy villages, a lot of dancing. The happiest people are the ones with the most community.

Over and over again, the deepest joys we find are when we’re sharing things with other people. My best memories always involve other people, usually some form of shared experience. When am I happiest? I’m happiest when I’m surrounded by people I care about doing something that we collectively enjoy. The less I do of that, the sadder and worse off I am.

2. 10 Minutes by Ahmed Imamovic
This is a ten minute film that will leave you thinking long after it’s over.

From Wikipedia: “10 Minutes is a 2002 short film contrasting ten minutes in the life of a Japanese tourist in Rome with the bloody drama of a Bosnian family taking place at the same time less than an hour away in the besieged city of Sarajevo during the Bosnian War.”

3. Gloria Steinem on values and spending
What really matters to you? There’s an easy way to tell.

We can tell our values by looking at our checkbook stubs. – Gloria Steinem

Based on my stubs, I apparently value the IRS. Actually, I apparently value my children, good food, and playing games with my friends, as my most recent significant expenditures were for my children’s ballet recital, a larger-than-average grocery bill weighted down with fresh foods, and some costs for my trip to Gencon with friends. What do you value? I’ll bet your checkbook reveals the truth.

4. Power of Art – Van Gogh
Power of Art is a BBC documentary series with each episode focusing on one artist, one specific work by that artist, and the cultural impact of that artist and that work. The series is exquisitely done and often stunning when you see the incredible impact of art on our world. My favorite episode (unsurprisingly) is the one on Vincent van Gogh, which I was able to watch again this week.

You can watch all of the parts by following these links: one, two, three, four, five, and six.

5. Van Gogh’s Wheatfield with Crows (1890)
The painting focused on in the above documentary is the breathtaking Wheatfield with Crows, one of van Gogh’s final paintings (and my current computer desktop wallpaper).

There’s something beautiful and foreboding in this picture. It’s much the way I feel when an emormous thunderstorm is building in the west and I can see the birds circling uncertainly. The air pressure is fluctuating, with warm air on my skin mixing with just a hint of cool in the swirling breeze. There’s anticipation, there’s beauty, and there’s a bit of worry, too.

Thanks to Pachango for the image.

6. Lao Tzu on frugality and leadership
Lao Tzu, the founder of taoism, lays out some of his core principles here.

“I have three precious things which I hold fast and prize. The first is gentleness; the second is frugality; the third is humility, which keeps me from putting myself before others. Be gentle and you can be bold; be frugal and you can be liberal; avoid putting yourself before others and you can become a leader among men.” – Lao Tzu

Gentleness. Frugality. Humility. Three strong principles to live by.

7. Resume by Dorothy Parker
Modern life is full of traps and perils and inconveniences.

Razors pain you;
Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you;
And drugs cause cramp;
Guns aren’t lawful;
Nooses give;
Gas smells awful;
You might as well live.

Rather than being afraid of everything, they’re all a reason to go out there and live our lives as boldly as possible. We can either hide in our homes and be afraid or go out there and change the world. There are dangers either way, but one path pushes us towards a greater life while the other just folds in on itself.

8. Playing piano with no fingers
Sometimes, I stumble at playing the piano because my fingers are big and I accidentally hit two keys at once. I get frustrated. This video shows me how small my problem really is and also shows me exactly what’s possible.

Wow.

9. What we can’t eat
There is always more money. There isn’t always more of the things we really need.

“Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realise we cannot eat money.” – Cree Indian Proverb

10. Rhapsody in Blue
I don’t really need to say anything, do I? Just listen.

Enough said.

My children have been sick for most of the week, so I’ve been sticking to old reliable meals that I can make with my eyes closed rather than being adventurous. That means no new “Dinner with My Family” post this week. Tune in next week for a new one, though!

A few days ago, my two oldest children were extremely ill. They were both deep in that type of lethargy that young children get when they’re feverish with an illness. They largely don’t move unless they urgently need to go to the bathroom. They don’t like their rest to be interrupted. If you give them some Tylenol, they might rebound a bit for a while, but they’ll soon go back to resting.

During the day when they were the sickest, I spent the day in the family room with them, doing things like making sure their water bottles were full, keeping blankets near them, fluffing their pillows, reading them stories, watching movies with them, making them chicken noodle soup, and so on.

There was never any question about my job when I was doing this. I dropped my work so that I could be there for my children without a second thought. Better yet, I had the freedom to do so.

My priority in life is to be the best father I can possibly be, period. That priority comes first. I’ve always wanted it to come first. After that, my priority is to be a great husband, supportive of my wife in whatever she chooses to do, whether it’s take several months off to be a stay-at-home mother or to throw herself back into her career with passion. Beyond that? Be a good writer. Be a good friend. Grow as a person.

Notice how none of these priorities are about earning a ton of money?

Setting these things as my priorities means making less money than I could. It also meant walking away from a job that I loved that often put me in conflict with that first priority.

Personal finance is just a set of tools that enable me to have these priorities. Earning more money or maximizing every dollar is not the end goal for me. It’s a means to an end. Because I practice good finances in my own life, I have the freedom to just drop my work and be there for my family when they need me. I don’t have to make a choice. I don’t have to worry about a boss that might fire me for not working enough. I don’t have to choose my job over my family.

Yes, I don’t have the income I might wish that I had. However, I have the priorities and the freedom that are a higher priority for me, and thanks to good personal finance practices, I’m not starving, either. A mountain of money is not the goal I have in my life. Being a good father is. Being a good husband is. Being a writer is.

Personal finance is not the answer. It is a tool that helps you on your journey to whatever it is you want for your life.

Right now, as I sit here, my daughter is dozing on the couch. She still doesn’t feel well. However, she requested that I sit here next to her while she sleeps. Her left foot is draped over my shoulder right now, actually.

She feels safe. She knows that I will be there to take care of her. When she wakes up, she can sleepily ask me for some water and she knows that I’ll be there to get it for her.

As she grows up, I’ll be there as she learns how to ride a bicycle. I’ll be there as she learns about boys. I’ll be there to feed and nurture her intellectual curiosity. I’ll be there as she (hopefully) grows from a charming young girl into an amazing young woman ready to take on the world.

Good personal finance choices make all of this possible.

Almost all of the suffering we put ourselves through in life is because there’s a difference between what we want to be true and what’s actually true.

During my early professional years, I watched as the gap between the financially successful person I wanted to be and the financially unsound person that I was became wider and wider. As that gap widened, I became miserable. I saw the life I always believed I was going to build for myself slowly slipping away.

Whenever I try to get into shape, I almost always drastically overdo it, often injuring myself in some way. The image I have in my head of the physical shape I should be in is out of alignment with the physical shape that I’m actually in. I wind up like I was a week or so ago, stretched out on the floor of the basement, dreading my next move because of a pulled muscle and loathing myself.

I have friends with various disabilities who constantly struggle with this phenomenon. They dream of some element of a normal life, then drown themselves in a deep depression when they find it to be out of reach.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with phrasing “I want to be…” statements about your life. They can be incredibly powerful guides toward a better life. The challenge comes when you’re creating “I want to be…” statements or “I want the world to be…” statements that require things out of your control to occur.

Let me explain what I mean in the context of me laying on the floor last week with a back muscle pull.

I’d been trying very hard to get myself into better shape. I’d adopted a vegan diet and I’d started exercising more and more. One day, I did a significant amount of exercising, to the point that I was worried I had pushed myself a little bit too much. A few hours later, I remembered that I had to coach my son’s soccer game, so I went to the field and spent more than an hour jogging up and down the field coaching the team.

That night, I had an incredibly painful muscle cramp in my back, one that left me laying on the floor in the basement, almost unable to move. It took me almost thirty minutes to make it up a single stair.

I was angry with myself. I was disappointed in myself. The next day, as I sat there in my work chair, I just felt like a failure.

My goal with exercise had always been a vision of the shape I had been in while in college, when I played intramural basketball and was even involved in some pick-up games. At one point in my life, I stepped onto a basketball court with a player destined to play in the NBA – and I wasn’t an absolute joke.

I would tell myself those dreaded words: I want to be… in that kind of shape again. I want to be… some kind of paragon of physical fitness for my kids.

Those “I want to be…” statements are widely separated from where I’m at, though, and whenever I would see how wide that gap was, I would, quite simply, get very down in the dumps.

The solution, though, is a pretty simple one. It’s one I’ve known for a long time, but it’s one that I sometimes don’t apply to myself when I’m too busy looking at the forest and not seeing the trees.

Simply use the power of “I want to be…” statements, but end those statements with something simple that’s actually within the realm of something you can accomplish.

Instead of saying I want to be an incredibly physically fit person, I should focus on saying I want to be a person who goes on a walk every day. By becoming that person, better physical shape is a positive side effect.

Instead of saying I want to be a person who can play the piano breathtakingly well, I should focus on saying that I want to be a person who can piece through a song and make it sound passable. By simply working on a song, I’m creating a side effect of being a better all-around piano player.

Through these statements, not only does something become tangible and reachable, that gap between where you’re at now and the person you want to be becomes smaller. There’s much less room for you to fall into depression when the person you want to be is at hand.

The big outcome you dream of is just a side effect of consistently achieving those little steps along the way.

Above, you’ll see a picture of a Le Creuset 5 1/2 quart enameled cast iron pot. I picked it up at a cookware sale about a year and a half ago at roughly half off the list price. Yes, I paid around $150 for this single pot.

Since then, it’s almost the only pot or pan or skillet I’ve used in my kitchen. I’ve fried eggs in it. I’ve made casseroles in it. I’ve cooked spaghetti in it. I’ve made soup in it. I’ve baked casseroles in it. I’ve made bread in it.

After eighteen months of use, you can’t tell I’ve done anything with it. There are no scratches or marks. There’s almost no indication I’ve ever cooked anything on the inside of it.

I’ve had skillets and other cookware completely lose their finish over a similar number of uses. I’ve seen giant bundles of pots and pans that would take up two kitchen cupboards that essentially add up to the same set of uses that this single pot has.

In short, this was the single best purchase I may have ever made for my kitchen. With just this, my stand mixer, a single good chef’s knife, and perhaps another item or two (like a colander), I can cook almost anything I can think of.

When I first started seriously cooking at home, I didn’t see the advantages in such minimalism. I picked up pots and pans and knives and kitchen implements of all shapes and sizes. (In fact, I still have a bunch of largely unused stuff in a cupboard that will likely wind up at a yard sale in the near future.)

So what happened? I used those pots and pans and other materials. Over time, I read quite a lot of material on cooking on websites, in books I checked out from the library, and from food magazines. I also used my own experience as a guide, noting that it was harder to motivate myself to cook if I would up with a sink full of dishes. Gradually, I began to minimize in terms of practice. I started preparing pasta meals in a single pot. I started using the knife I was most comfortable with – a chef’s knife – for almost everything, and I eventually became quite good with it.

The pile of dishes in the sink got smaller. I became motivated to cook even more. Eventually, it was a sign of pride for my meal prep if I used a minimum amount of equipment to make something delicious.

If I were to stock my kitchen right now, I’d probably have about a tenth of the stuff that I currently have.

This experience has taught me a great deal about purchases. Because of this experience, I’ve saved a ton of money in other areas of my life without reducing the experience in any way. Here are some of the lessons I’ve learned.

First, start off any new area of interest with minimal equipment. I’m teaching myself to play the piano. Once upon a time, I might have started this journey off with actually acquiring a piano, along with a mountain of books. Instead, I practice at home on an electronic keyboard using public domain sheet music and a few specific songs I’ve picked up here and there. To this point, I’m learning on this equipment just as well as I would have learned on a real piano, and I’m hundreds or perhaps thousands of dollars ahead.

Second, never stop learning about this new area of interest. In my ongoing effort to get into better shape, I read a lot of books and other materials on exercise, leaner cooking, and so on. What I’ve learned is that, beyond a few key items, the equipment really doesn’t make a difference. The difference is in your head. Are you motivated to actually do it? It’s all about finding exercises and routines that you enjoy and that work for you, not about buying a never-ending flood of equipment and materials. The more I learn, the more clear it becomes that the real key to success is between my ears.

Third, don’t upgrade until you actually understand, from your own experience, why you’re upgrading. I upgraded to the Le Creuset pot above because the Teflon covering on my current pot was starting to peel. I knew that I wanted a very utilitarian pot that could handle a wide variety of dishes while still being easy to clean that didn’t have the Teflon problem (which limits the lifespan of an item). Since I was coming from a place where I understood from experience what I needed, I was able to identify the right item – an enameled cast iron pot.

Finally, be patient with your purchase when you’re finally upgrading. Don’t just run to Amazon or to your local store to pick up the item you want. Be patient. You’ve invested a lot of time learning your new area of expertise, so why sacrifice that investment in a rush to purchase something new? I waited several months to pick up that Le Creuset, getting by in the meantime with the other items I had on hand.

Really, in the end, it’s all about the experience. You should never dive into a new area of interest with a huge expenditure on equipment. Instead, focus on the minimum. Buy a single low-end pot and teach yourself how to cook using just that and a few implements. Get a used keyboard off of Craigslist and use some online tutorials to get yourself started learning the piano. Instead of buying a mountain of exercise equipment, go on a walk.

Not only do you get the same opportunity to explore a new area in life, you’re keeping your hard-earned money firmly in your pocket. It’s all about the practice and the experience, not the equipment.

As a friend of mine always said, “Michael Jordan didn’t get good at basketball because he wore $200 Nikes.”

What’s inside? Here are the questions answered in today’s reader mailbag, boiled down to five word summaries. Click on the number to jump straight down to the question.
1. Relocation decision
2. Filing internet documents
3. Roth IRA novice
4. Universal life thoughts
5. Exchanging money
6. Graduation gifts
7. Cooking a whole chicken
8. Blogs and giveaways
9. Reversing charge-offs
10. Mortgage now or later?

It is absolutely amazing to watch my five year old son and his one year old little brother interact with each other. They’ve been playing a game that they’ve made up with a green ball and a pink ball for half an hour – seriously – and they’re both still laughing. They entertain each other so much.

Q1: Relocation decision
I have a college degree in journalism, I worked in the field successfully for 10 years. However, I was faced with constant cuts in benefits, low pay (highest I ever got was $27,000 as a weekly newspaper editor), low morale, positions eliminated and being told to take on the extra work, but yet not allowed overtime or comp time, etc. etc. Oh, and at my last job, the ceiling was literally falling down on us. The last straw was last month the owner of the company told me to ignore certain “controversial” news stories and write more “positive” stories. I was told to ignore elected officials’ violations of the law. This was in direct violation of my professional code of ethics, and like I said, it was the last straw. I resigned.

I am now at home with my 7-month-old son. It has been an adjustment, I have worked all my life. My husband is an EMT and makes decent money (around $26,000 a year base salary) and gets lots of overtime whenever he wants, especially now I’m at home for childcare. He really likes his job. I am bringing in money as a SEO content writer. Writing comes easily to me, and I can make the same money I made as a journalist in half the time. Neither one of our jobs offered good health benefits so we always bought our own insurance, so we’re ok on that.

We do have quite a bit of consumer debt, one car loan, and some smaller medical debts from our son’s birth. I have worked so hard this year paying the smaller debt off. I’m paying the minimum on the credit cards and hopefully will be able to focus solely on the credit car debt by the end of the year. We live in western Kentucky which thankfully has a low cost of living.

I have a job opportunity in June back in our hometown. We have lived four hours away from our families for 10 years, we miss them so much. And they miss us, and now the grandbaby (first grandchild on both sides of the family!). The job opportunity is a reporter position at a newspaper — $27,000/year with decent benefits. However, they were upfront about pay freezes and furloughs (4 unpaid days every quarter). The company that owns the paper is hurting, as are most print newspapers.

If I take that job, we will have to move in with my in-laws until my husband finds a job. They have an apartment in the basement, and an already set-up nursery. I love my in-laws, and I project we’d probably be with them for about six months until my husband gets a job and we can find a place to rent of our own.

But I am torn. I’m stating to like being a work-at-home mom! I worry that SEO writing may not always be a good option though. I used to do merchandising, court research and mystery shopping for side income, and I could always get back into that. I feel there are lots of ways I can bring in money but also be here for my son. My husband and I have our routine down with childcare and balancing our schedules. We rent a little house that’s perfect for what we need. Working from home I am so much less stressed. I’ve started writing a book! The house is cleaner! We plan and cook our meals more! We have inexpensive family outings once a week now!

So our two options are: A. Stay where we are, four hours away from family, and I work on diversifying my work-at-home options while writing SEO content articles. Keep working on our 3-year plan to get out of debt and have a second child. Or B. Move back home, and I take the reporter job, which is a more guarenteed income — maybe. My husband is unemployed for a while and we live with family. Our debt repayment plan will probably have to take a backseat for a while till we get re-established. But at least we have the support of our family and my son will grow up around his aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc. What do you think?
- Sarah

If you are surviving financially in your current situation, your biggest consideration should be to create the best life for you and your family. The decision to move back home depends heavily on your relationship with your family.

It sounds like moving back there would give you income equivalence with what you have now (you’d have a job that paid roughly what your husband’s job pays now), so there’s not a big difference there.

If you’re deeply concerned about the bottom dollar, are you sure there isn’t an option C, where you move back home, take the job, still do some freelance writing in your spare time, and see what happens? After all, you’ll have the support of family, which should make it easier to find some spare time for things like this.

Q2: Filing internet documents
You talked about the electronic filing system in the 100 things to do during a money free weekend. You wrote that in 2007 and talked about scanning all your documents. For the most part almost all my bills etc. come via the internet, at least all my regular ones do. Does that change anything about your system? If I can access all those bills via my different accounts with do I need to save them additionally as well? I also keep 7 years back worth of my financial papers but then I shred (and burn) the years previous to that each year. I thought that was as far back as was necessary to keep?
- Andy

The solution here is easy. Just save copies of the electronic statements you receive in the folders you use for your document filing. If it comes in an email form, save that email. If you retrieve them from a website, log onto that site and save the statements.

The key is to have easy access to all of these statements in one place on your computer. If you’re getting most of them electronically anyway, this process just becomes much easier.

If you’re keeping everything electronically, there’s no reason not to keep older statements. It’s just a tiny slice of hard drive space.

Andy had another question of interest, too.

Q3: Roth IRA novice
Should we work with a financial planner to establish Roth IRAs or is this something a novice can do? Honestly I have read the investment stuff in the past and learned a lot through the Motley Fool back a decade ago but honestly that sort of thing makes my eyes roll back in my head and my mind swim. My husband and I both work in education (elementary teacher and librarian) so our jobs everyday require lots of thought, decision making and learning. This aspect (index funds, company financials etc) of taking care of our finances just feels like it sends my brain into meltdown mode.
- Andy

I did my Roth IRA myself with little difficulty. I spent some time researching various investment houses, settled on using Vanguard, and then they walked me through setting things up. I then spent some time looking at the various investment options there before settling on just using a Target Retirement Fund.

The advantage of using a planner is that you don’t have to spend the time researching. The disadvantage of using a planner is that you’re hoping they don’t have their own agenda and are genuinely picking the best option for you. For example, planners will sometimes steer people towards certain investment houses and plans so that the planner can earn commissions, even though the option isn’t really the best one for you.

The piece of the puzzle that usually pushes me to encourage people to do it themselves is that you tend to learn quite a lot during the process.

Q4: Universal life thoughts
I wanted to get your opinion on Universal Life policies and whether or not the savings mechanism built-in is worth it as compared a simple Term Life policy and a separate savings account. I know Dave Ramsey’s take is that it not really worth it which for the most part I can see the argument, I just think at this point in time it might be worth it for us. My Husband as a $100K Unviersal Life policy with a monthly premium of $100. Basically $24 of the monthly amount goes to account expenses/fees and the actual premium for the coverage. The remaining $76 is put into account with a declared interest rate of 4.75%. So for us right now its basically a forced savings account. I like to think of it as our Emergency Fund since basically that is basically what it has become at this point since we have no savings. We are currently in a position where due to decrease in income (45% of my husband’s income), past poor decisiosn and spending habits, we have more going out than coming in. Our current take home is $6200 on a low month and $7700 in a good month at this point. We have a high mortgage (1st has been modified and we are working on the 2nd), a high car payment that will be paid off in 28 months, $55K in Credit Card Debt, plus the standard monthly utilities bills, gas, groceeries, etc. We are trying to get back on track and are committed to getting out of this mess. My husband has a second job which has for right now temporarily supplemented an additional loss of income from his 1st job – my husband is self-employed. We’ve cut the cable which saved us $70 a month which then immediately went to pay for the increased gas budget. But I’m glad we cut it. My question is given our situation are we better off actually having a regular savings and getting rid of the policy (he does have another $250,000 Term Life policy) and just create our own forced savings plan since for the most part the interest earned annually only partially covers the expenses on the account, or for the time being keep it and reevaulate in a few months? Your thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
- Ron

If you look at the components of a universal life account, what you’ll find is that you’re usually buying an overpriced term life policy packaged with some sort of savings account opportunity. Taken alone, the savings account option often looks really good, but what’s often neglected is that in order to put money into that account, you have to buy a really suboptimal policy. While I can’t quote you a life insurance rate, I would not find it surprising that your husband could get a term life policy for $16 a month rather than the $24 a month you’re paying into the universal policy.

So, if you run the math there, you could either have that universal policy in wich $76 a month goes into an account that returns 4% or, with a separate term policy, you would have $84 a month to put into an account that earns, say, 1% or 2%. It will take a decade for the universal life account to catch up to the ordinary savings account, and if you’re looking at that kind of timetable, you’re better off putting that money into a diversified stock investment (which gives you a solid likelihood of earning substantially more than 4% per year).

In other words, if you’re looking for a short term investment, like an emergency fund, you’re better off with a term policy and a savings account. If you’re looking for a long term investment, you’re better off with a brokerage account and a term policy.

The only advantage that universal policies have is the idea of “forced” savings, in that you’ll lose the policy if you don’t pay in. With a separate savings account, you don’t have that pressure to pay up, so it’s easy to slack off.

If you don’t have a history of keeping up with a regular savings plan, the “forced” aspect of the universal policy is a good option. Otherwise, it’s not a great investment.

Q5: Exchanging money
I am traveling to Europe in a couple of weeks, and I’m not sure what to do about money. I called all my credit/debit card companies, and they all charge a fee for international transactions. It depends on the card, but it’s about 3%. That 3% can add up pretty quickly. Should I exchange all my money before I go, and if so, where should I exchange it? The dollar-euro exchange rate sucks right now, so I want to make sure I’m getting the most bang for my buck.
- Michelle

Almost every exchange you do will have some sort of fee attached to it. If you find an exchange that’s fee-free, you’re probably getting an awful exchange rate. Businesses have to make a profit on the exchange. They’re providing a service and you have to pay for that service.

Although you have to check on the current rates, the best rates are generally those from ATMs. Currency exchange booths often offer a poor exchange rate and a fee on top of that. Banks typically charge a fee, but usually have a good exchange rate, particularly if it’s a large bank that operates in that country.

Unfortunately, you’re probably going to be losing 2-3% on your exchanges when traveling abroad. It’s just unavoidable.

Q6: Graduation gifts
Do you have any good ideas for (relatively inexpensive) high school graduation gifts?
- Sherry

It really depends on the graduate. I find that a well-thought-out gift that connects with that particular student can often be far less expensive and more meaningful than a generic gift.

For example, I know one particular graduate this year quite well. I’m planning on getting him a gift that’s very in tune with who he is, but it’s not an expensive gift. On the other hand, we’re almost spending as much on another graduate that we don’t know nearly as well.

If you don’t know a graduate well, do some research into that graduate. Find out what you can about them. Use their “likes” on their Facebook profile as a guide. Talk to the graduate’s parents a little bit. You’ll eventually find yourself going in a sensible direction.

If all else fails, get them a copy of Your Money or Your Life.

Q7: Cooking a whole chicken
A few days ago,I purchased a whole chicken (instead of my usual frozen chicken breasts). I recently bought a slow cooker so I slow-cooked it today and intend to make stock on Saturday (I re-read your post from a couple years ago about cooking a whole chicken).

I have 2 questions and I need answers so I can make the stock on Saturday. I do appreciate a quick response.

1) what was I supposed to do with the giblets? I took them out and put them into a bag before I cooked the bird, now it occurs to me that maybe I should cook them before I throw them into the stock pot with all the other stuff that’s already been cooked. Should I have cooked them with the bird and then pulled them out? Should I boil them before making the stock? Or is it safe to throw them in the pot raw because they will get cooked there?

2) what about the liquid left in the slow cooker? I tried to screen out all the solids (bone, pieces of meat, and onion) from the drippings and ended up just putting all of it into a container. Should I/can I use the liquid in the stock? Wouldn’t adding this to the stock increase the fat content? (I’m using fat and skin in the stock so maybe that’s a moot question).
- Kelly

With the giblets, you can certainly cook them either before or in with the stock you’re preparing. I would have no objection cooking the giblets right in the stock if the water was nearly simmering (around 200 F).

The leftover liquid, on the other hand, is gold. Don’t throw that out. That’s the truly flavorful part of the stock.

If you don’t want “lumps” in your stock, you can always strain it through a cheesecloth or through a very fine strainer. A cheesecloth will leave you with a pure liquid. A fine strainer will leave you with a liquid with some small particles in it. Personally, I don’t worry about tiny bits of vegetables when I make vegetable stock (or tiny chicken bits with chicken stock). I just fish out the big pieces and call it good.

Q8: Blogs and giveaways
I’ve been contemplating for some time trying to monetize my blog, and try to get into doing reviews and giveaways. You probably don’t follow “mom blogs” but reviews and giveaways are All over the place there, for a variety of products – “green” things, cloth diaper related items, big ticket items like car seats and other bigger ticket items, and things in categories I don’t even know about. I admit that I am especially interested in getting new “free” things.

My readership isn’t very big, but I have slowly found new readers by participating on other blogs, and a little bit through twitter (most of that all related to participating in giveaways). A significant number of my readers view the posts/comment only on my personal facebook profile, and I don’t know how that would translate over.

Part of my struggle in going for it is that I don’t want to push away family and friends from reading my blog because of too much advertising/reviews/giveaways. I don’t want to clutter their twitter feed with all of that either. However, I don’t know that starting a new blog just for the purpose of reviews or giveaways is quite what I want to do, since I like the idea of having more than just review after review. I’ve already created an “alter-ego” on twitter, but it’s separate from my personal blog.
- Ellen

Many blogs get into a habit of giveaways because giveaways provide a “spike” to your traffic numbers. If you do a giveaway that lots of people know about, you’ll get a very short term jump in traffic. This translates not only to immediate ad revenue, but also makes it easier to sell your site for future ad revenue.

The problem, as you’ve seen, is that loading your blogs with too many giveaways will drive away the actual readers, so if you start having a lot of giveaways, you have to keep them up to maintain the traffic numbers you need. Instead, your “readers” will be people who just hop to your blog for the giveaways, never to return.

If I were you, I’d separate the two. Start a Twitter account and a Facebook fan page related just to your site, then tell your family and friends about it. If they’re interested in such things, they’ll follow the new Twitter account and the Facebook fan page. If they become disinterested, they can always un-follow the Twitter account or un-like the Facebook fan page without deleting their connection to you.

Q9: Reversing charge-offs
After several years of job insecurity and random financial mess, I am finally in a place where I am paying down my debt in a significant way. Although many of my debts were consolidated through a CCCS-approved plan, there are a few that were “left behind,” because they declined to participate.

These debts are now charged-off, I believe, and have been sold to outside collections agencies. Since I am in a better and more stable situation, would it be possible to get in touch with the original creditor to try to salvage the relationship and pay them back directly, or do I have to deal with the folks who purchased my debts?

I want to make repairs to the damage I’ve done to my once perfect credit report / score as soon as possible, and move on with my life without having the specter of poor credit follow me for another seven years, but it seems like it’s going to be impossible.
- Kevin

You can certainly try, but most of the time, the original company will simply just refer you to the collection agency. Their hands have been washed of the situation and they no longer own the debt, so they don’t have much reason to get involved. They may be willing to clean your report a bit if you get things fixed, but that’s never a guarantee.

Your best bet is to negotiate with whoever holds your debt now. You want a settlement that will clean your credit report as much as possible. Be up front about this and keep on them if they don’t quickly fix your report after you’ve paid up.

It’s likely that you’ll never be able to clean up everything, but you should be able to clean up some of it.

Q10: Mortgage now or later?
I am days away from being 28 years-old and am currently in the market for a multi-unit home. This will be my first home purchase and I have around 50K prepared for any up front costs (down payment, settlement costs). These savings are in addition to an emergency fund, as well as other misc. investment and retirement savings. The homes I am considering are in the 175-225K price range, and I am just starting to evaluate my financing options (30 vs 15 vs ARM). Specifically, I question whether or not any specific option is better for someone who only plans on residing in the home for 5-7 years, and then renting out both units, or possibly selling the home. It would seem best for me to seek low to medium up front costs even if that brings a somewhat higher APR. Any thoughts or insight would be warmly welcomed!
- Amy

I would choose a 15 year mortgage over a 30 year mortgage, given a choice between the two. A 15 year mortgage is almost always coupled with a lower interest rate, and between the lower rate and the longer term, you’ll find yourself spending far less in interest than with a 30 year mortgage.

As for the ARM, I would avoid it. ARMs are prevalent because people who sign up for them are under the belief, just like you are, that their future is smoothly charted and they’ll be selling the house in five years just like they planned.

Real life doesn’t always work that way, though. Your financial situation in five years might not make selling that house a good move, in which case the adjustment will be incredibly painful. You’re far better off locking down that interest rate via a 15 year fixed rate.

Got any questions? Email them to me or leave them in the comments and I’ll attempt to answer them in a future mailbag (which, by way of full disclosure, may also get re-posted on other websites that pick up my blog). However, I do receive hundreds of questions per week, so I may not necessarily be able to answer yours.