Doan’t You Be What You Ain’t
By Edwin Milton Royle
[Written as a song for Marie Cahill. Music by Silvio Hein.]

De Sunflower ain’t de daisy,
And de melon ain’t de rose.
Why is dey all so crazy
To be sumpin’ else dat grows?
Jes’ stick to the place you’s planted, and do de bes’ you knows,
Be de sunflower or de daisy,
Be de melon or de rose.

De song thrush ain’t de robin,
And de catbird ain’t de jay.
Why is dey all a-throbbin’ to oudo each other’s lay?
Jes’ sing de song God gave you, and let you heart be gay.
Be de song thrush or de robin,
Be de catbird or de jay.

Chorus:
Doan’t ye be what you ain’t,
Jes’ you be what you is.
Ef a man is what he isn’t,
Den he isn’t what he is.
Ef you’s jes’ a little tadpole,
Doan’t you try to be de frog.
Ef you’s de tail doan’t you try to wag de dog.
Jes’ pass de plate ef you can’t exhort and preach;
Ef you’s jes’ a little pebble,
Doan’t ye try to be de beach.
Ef a man is what he isn’t
Den he isn’t what he is;
And as sure as I’m a’talkin’,
He gwyne to git his.

Apparel – If you prefer to be nude, you will have trouble dressing like you want in public. If you prefer to be barefoot, you will have trouble getting into certain establishments.

Home decoration – When I got my first place to myself, I made sure to get some sort of seating because even though I preferred to sit on the floor, my mom had trouble getting up from the floor. Also, some decorations are much more likely to offend people than others—I keep mine (way-too-cutsie stuff) in the private areas. And as Amy pointed out, you should probably take the tastes of any roommates into account, just as you’d like them to take your tastes into account. Finally, if you prefer not to clean, you can end up with health problems or even with your house slowly disintegrating.

Hobbies and activities – obviously if you enjoy ax murdering, it would be a good idea to not be yourself in that way (Dexter notwithstanding).

There is a certain bare minimum of pandering to others that is appropriate. I’d say it’s best to figure out which way you tend to err. Your advice is good for those who tend to err in the direction of trying to please others too much.

For Steven, I especially like that there is a little effort at conformity at work. I like that I only really have to deal with someone’s work skills and habits and not so much with any other issues that don’t have to be related to work—I’m glad that no one comes on to me, that no one blasts their music all over the place, and that no one smokes. I kind of like not knowing who snores, who’s into S&M, and who likes to pee in the bushes. I even wish people would wear less smelly hand lotion (which gives me a headache). (Fortunately I work at a place where people can dress almost however they want—no bikinis, and they have to wear a shirt and something on their feet.)

(P.S. Jules—funny about people who enjoy being phonies.)

There will definitely have to be a change of jobs, though…

A home where you feel happy and relaxed, and your visitors feel peaceful, is perfect. Your home sounds just lovely. :)

I agree that Trent has made a basic assumption about the goodness of people. I know a few who are mean down to the bone.

“Stop caring what other people think”: well, I will care if it involves my work and my employers or clients…

***

I see no point in decorating one’s HOME just to impress others. It’s probably one of few areas where you can express yourself somewhat freely, whereas for many people, the clothes they wear will be restricted by their company’s dress code, and so on…

This blog can be a bit contradictory, though: some posts will be about kissing someone’s butt (your boss, etc) and others will be like this.

There isn’t any shame in being a dandelion, if indeed that’s what you are. But there shouldn’t be any shame in aspiring to be a rose, either.

And dogs. I have so many dog beds all over the place, photos of my dogs, dog statues, dog art, dog leashes, extra collars and dog toys.

My dogs are my life, and my house reflects it. I don’t give a hoot what anyone else thinks, either. It’s clean, it’s comfortable, and it’s ME.

I’m going to do whatever makes me happy, and I don’t really give two (insert whatever floats your boat here) what anyone thinks about my life and my choices! Wouldn’t the world be even more exciting if everyone just decided to show their true colors and follow their hearts instead of trying to fit into a box defined by society, media and peer pressure? Conformity sucks!

I have 5-bedroom home filled with Room & Board furniture because I genuinely enjoy having the space, and because I love mid-century modernism as interpreted by R&B.

I dress in well-tailored, slightly expensive-ish (though purchased on sale) clothing, because I genuinely enjoy how it fits and makes me feel.

When I decorated an apartment with repurposed junk, it made me unhappy… not because I feared the aesthetic consternation of others, but because the apartment didn’t have the new, warm, clean and coordinated feel that I wanted.

Simply put ( ; -) ), some of us just like nice things and we don’t give two hoots what other people think about that.