Comments on: The Simple Dollar Weekly Roundup: Three Children Edition

By: Kate

Kate — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 11:09:33 +0000

#7: such bitterness–brings to mind the quote “there’s a time and a place for everything.” Apparently rants against welfare are all the time and everywhere for some.
Trent, just realize with three children that the third child just doesn’t get as much as the first two. The baby book isn’t as full, the homework doesn’t get examined as fully, you might forget to pick them up occasionally, etc. It makes third children stronger (I have three children and I am a third child :o).

By: marta

marta — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 10:58:47 +0000

Seriously, deRuiter, do you have to turn every comment into a rant about the American welfare system?

By: deRuiter

deRuiter — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 09:56:07 +0000

Three’s a nice number. You’re replacing yourselves in the life cycle, and have one more for a childless person. If the middle class doesn’t have three or more children there won’t be anyone left to support the non workers who are breeding with such enthusiasm generously supported by the American welfare system.

By: sharon

sharon — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 00:38:41 +0000

You were smart to have kids while relatively young.

Sometimes I see comments from people who are waiting to have kids until they have finances in order, and I think: If you really want kids, don’t wait (unless you’re in your early 20′s or–of course!–younger). By the time you have everything in order, it may be too late.

By: Telephus44

Telephus44 — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 20:52:47 +0000

While I was pregnant with our only child, we saw a couple with three kids at our local ice cream stand. The wife was dealing with one, the husband the other, and their were arguing about who was going to go get the third (all 3 kids were running around, excited about the ice cream – not terrible misbehavior, just the kind of running around excitement that toddlers have) – and at that very moment, we decided we would never have 3 kids since they would outnumber us.

By: getagrip

getagrip — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 18:19:03 +0000

We were considering four children. Then we had three. That was enough for both of us.

I didn’t like the Zenhabits article on the illusion of control which seemed more a dig at planning ahead. I feel the points raised were more about being obsessive about controlling things. But if you sit and let life push you around, you pretty much go nowhere, or in the case of the fish mentioned, you don’t live very long before you get eaten. You have to take actions, if only to discover and enjoy your passions. Hence you control your actions and reactions even if you don’t control everything around you.

I’ve planned things that have gone just as planned and turned out just as I expected, or sometimes better than expected. I’ve got a degree, I got a good paying career with that degree, go figure it worked as planned. Now did I get obsessive that I had to work in X field doing Y work that my degree qualified me for, no. But neither did I sit around for years waiting for life to show me my one and only “true” career that my degree qualified me for. Either extreme is not a good position to take.

Similarly you may not exercise complete “control” over your child’s every action, but that doesn’t mean you let them go around pulling fire alarms and stealing from other kids. It also doesn’t mean you don’t find ways to impart your values and your ideals into their upbringing.

Yeah life happens, and you have to roll with it and adjust but that shouldn’t mean you don’t plan for the future you’re projecting today. I could be disabled or dead in a car accident tomorrow, my child could drop out of college, the stock market could crash again, etc. But not laying out some planning leads to not having disability insurance and a will in place, not saving for the kids education, and not saving for your own retirement.

I guess the whole “just go with the flow” and “down with planning” aspect of the article left a sour taste in my mouth. I have much more fun with a mix, like when we went to Disney and planned on two things that were must do’s in each park on a given day, then everything else was as it came.

By: Katie

Katie — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:22:32 +0000

That’s funny – in my neighborhood and family growing up, it was 2 kids. I wonder if it’s one of those things were people are subtly influenced by the people around them.

By: Andrew

Andrew — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 17:14:20 +0000

3 is one of those “magical” numbers that appear throughout human history–like 7, 12, and 40.

Also, 3 faces were more than enough for Eve ! (Sybil had 16, but that’s a different story)

By: Darwin's Money

Darwin's Money — Wed, 08 Jun 2011 16:24:40 +0000

For us, it took the third kid to get my wife that girl! We probably would have gone to 4 Max…or adopted. We love the boys; but having the girl rounded out the family. If we had a boy and a girl initially…well, may have done #3 anyway, but wasn’t a “mandate”.

3 is a nice number but a bit busy. Definitely harder than 2 by more than the “50%” it might seem. You lose that man coverage, no it’s zone. And when the three have something at the same time, someone has to miss out or you’ve got to employ help.

But in the end, that’s 3 special people in our lives for life! If you can swing it, you won’t regret it!