Comments on: Reader Mailbag: Friends

By: Pattie, RN

Pattie, RN — Fri, 17 Jun 2011 09:22:29 +0000

Even if you live on a hilltop, you STILL need flood insurance. If a tree or branch opens your roof to rain and water damage?? NOT covered by traditional homeowners insurance. Ditto for frozen pipes on the second story flooding lower levels.

As stated, if you are not in a mandated flood plain, you can still cover your home AND contents for $350-$500 a year, based on the value of your home and possesions….and YOU get to pick how much coverage you want to pay for.

And as my signature indicates, I do NOT work in insurance, nor does any one I know. I am just risk-adverse, since 96% of my net worth is in my home at the moment.

By: SwingCheese

SwingCheese — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 15:45:13 +0000

Q4: My husband and I have a date night every couple of weeks. We go out for dinner, or drinks, or to catch live music, go to a movie, go on a long bike ride, etc. Basically anything that we can’t do with kiddo along for the ride. Also, my husband works second shift, so when he gets home, our kiddo is usually asleep, and we spend a couple of hours together. Mornings are family time. (Mind you, I’m actually a SAHM right now, and I don’t know what we’d have to do to modify this schedule once we started working.)

Q7: As others have said, only you know your cousin. Some of my cousins would have been absolutely fine to live with. Others I would not have touched with a 10 ft. pole. And to others who have said that if the kid is getting kicked out, he must be doing something wrong? My friend got kicked out b/c of trouble with his dad when he was 17. He stayed with my parents and me for awhile (we hadn’t graduated high school yet), but we didn’t have a lot of room (no extra bedroom, so he was sleeping on the couch in the living room), so he moved into his own place shortly before graduation. He wasn’t a bad kid, and he is a responsible, productive adult now. And he was a model “renter”. In fact, he was more responsible than I was at coming home at curfew, etc!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sun, 12 Jun 2011 01:21:14 +0000

@ mary m
My car is a 1999 Nissan Altima. I paid ~$4500 for it about 3 years ago. It was high mileage ~115,000; now it’s at 139,000. It hasn’t had any problems. Before that I had a $10,000 used Kia Sportage that cost me like $1500 right after getting it because one of the wheel bearings had to be replaced. My dad got a fairly new Pontiac Torrent for much more than $5000, less than a year ago, and it’s had a leaky windshield and transmission issues. IMO buying a used vehicle is taking a chance even if it costs more than $4000, but some people are just not in a situation to afford much more than that.

By: jayme

jayme — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 13:27:09 +0000

mary #39 – we just bought one. It was a Cadillac Seville, 2001. 44,000 miles on it. It will easily last another 6 years, hopefully 10. They exist.

Our goal had been to buy a car every 5 years for $15K, so we save about $400/mo for this purpose. But if you can spend 10 months of your car fund to make it last 6 years, you’re ahead of the game. Will it cost us more in repairs than a brand new $15K car? Probably. But will it cost us $9K in repairs in the next 4 years? No way.

By: mary m

mary m — Sat, 11 Jun 2011 12:15:01 +0000

Trent there are no $4000 cars! If you do purchase one you are going to undoubtedly have to pay costly repairs sooner or later probably sooner. I challenge you to try to find a $4000 car you would feel good about purchasing. It’s crazy to keep on advising a $4000 car as an option.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 17:31:50 +0000

I’m a little surprised at the assumptions made about this 18 year old. Adults are just as capable of having issues as an 18 year old is. I agree, we don’t know the situation. But I’ve known plenty of people who were kicked out of their parent’s houses just because they turned 18, not for any fault of their own. There seems to be this idea that once someone is 18 they have to move out, but it’s not exactly easy in some areas to afford a place to rent. Attending college just makes the financial aspect more difficult to bear. I’ve also seen people end up in similar situations to #37 Jen, where it was the parents who had the issues, not the kid.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 15:54:30 +0000

Sorry about the double post earlier.

Also, I have to comment on the 18 year old cousin. When I was 18, my parents (mom and stepdad)were in the midst of messy divorce. My mom didn’t want to be a parent anymore and my stepdad didn’t adopt me so he had no legal claim to me and was in the middle of an emotional breakdown. I was too much of a reminder of his mom so he didn’t want me either. Our house was sold and I was on my own. I was a straight-A student, graduated 3rd in my class, etc. I just had a crappy home situation. I lived in my car for a week or so until I found someone willing to help.

It’s quite possible that the 18 year old is a good kid in a bad situation and a healthy, helpful family member is just what he needs.

By: Tracy

Tracy — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 15:05:36 +0000

@Johanna Yeah, I read that and was just … I can’t even.

By: Johanna

Johanna — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 15:01:05 +0000

And it’s looking like our pal deRuiter may have just smashed her(?) previous record for the most appalling comment posted to TSD. Women’s shelters tell women to fake being abused? I don’t even know where to start with that. And it’s not even applicable here, because Jason clearly said that his cousin is male.

By: Johanna

Johanna — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 14:44:38 +0000

@Kevin: “If they’re living there for free, they’re a guest, and you can kick them out any time you want, for any reason at all.”

I suppose you may be legally within your rights to do this, but morally, it would be a supremely cruel thing to do in this instance. The cousin has already experienced betrayal and abandonment by the two most important adults in his life that he trusted to be there for him. By offering him a place to stay and then kicking him out just because you don’t feel like having him stay with you anymore, you’d be doing the same thing to him all over again. It would almost be better not to take him in to begin with – at least that way, you’re not making any promises you can’t keep.

So, Jason: We’re all doing a lot of speculation about what your cousin is like, because none of us know him except you. But if you think there is anything he might do that would make you want to kick him out of your home before the year (or whatever period you agree to) is up, I urge you to be very clear about that in the “house rules and regulations” that you draw up: Tell him that you have zero tolerance for X, Y, and Z in your home, and if he does any of those things, his stay with you is over.

(And of course, “X, Y, and Z” should be limited to serious infractions. Not stuff like failing to turn out the lights or take out the trash.)

By: Tom

Tom — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 14:14:53 +0000

I second (third? haha) the virtual wallet. Not too often you can get close to 1% interest (not that long ago it was over 1, sigh) from a bank that isn’t solely online. Transferring in and out of the high interest savings account to PNC checking account also does not take 3 business days.
In my experience, the sub accounts have been kind of buggy setting up, but I don’t use them often.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 13:21:27 +0000

re: Q#9.

We recently became debt-free other than our mortgage, and have turned our focus toward our savings. We have been banking at PNC/National City our entire marriage (4 years), and converted to PNC Virtual Wallet a few months ago. It is FABULOUS for saving. In the “Growth” account, you can create sub-accounts, and earn .85% interest on the whole thing. Plus, it’s super easy to transfer the money to your “Spend” account as needed. In our “Growth” account we have sub-accounts for “new car, taxes, vacation, maintenance, and emergency fun.” I have never been so excited about a bank account. My problem with savings before was tracking how much of the lump sum was set aside for each item. This problem has been completely solved.

By: Jen

Jen — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 13:21:27 +0000

re: Q#9.

By: Kevin

Kevin — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:17:17 +0000

@deRuiter:

“You can’t always “kick them out” easily if they live with you. You have to go through court procedings to evict or you can be in legal trouble.”

That’s only if you’re charging him rent. If they’re living there for free, they’re a guest, and you can kick them out any time you want, for any reason at all.

Some of you guys are so afraid of lawyers it’s mind-boggling. It’s YOUR HOUSE. If they’re a guest, then you have total authority to boot them out at any time.

By: Katie

Katie — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 12:02:40 +0000

I’m a little disturbed by the implication in the original post and the comments that the only reason parents would abandon a kid is because the kid did something wrong and deserves it.

By: deRuiter

deRuiter — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 10:16:54 +0000

Dear Jim #21. You can’t always “kick them out” easily if they live with you. You have to go through court procedings to evict or you can be in legal trouble. What is the cousin like? Maybe there’s a reason neither parent won’t keep the 18 year old like laziness, destructive rages, drugs, excessive partying, theft. It’s like when your relatives want to borrow money from you and no bank will offer them a loan, THERE’S A REASON, and don’t do it! If the cousin is female, and you try to evict, she will go to the local battered women’s group, and they will tell her to hit herself, tear her shirt, and to then phone the police and claim you beat her. You will be arrested, booked, and locked out of your house while the female cousin will then have control of the house and contents for the forseeable future while you have to continue to support her and your house. In this case you are looking at a criminal record and thousands of dollars in legal fees, plus having to live elsewhere for six months or a year. Help the kid get a room somewhere and a job, and save yourself expense, a criminal record, and irritation.

By: Zanne

Zanne — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 01:42:41 +0000

@#3 As I understand it, if you have funds remaining in an HSA when you reach retirement age, you can convert the HSA to an IRA. The HSA is not like a flex account where you have to use the funds up or lose them; they remain in the account, earning interest until you use them or convert them at the end. So, you’re really saving for an emergency, with an option to convert to retirement if the emergency doesn’t arise. And, my HSA is paying way better interest rates than a standard passbook savings account, too. There’s a tax benefit involved, which shelters income, and you can save more for retirement than just what’s allowed under the IRA scheme if you don’t need it for medical purposes.

By: jayme

jayme — Fri, 10 Jun 2011 01:13:33 +0000

Q2 – My understanding is that even flood insurance wouldn’t have helped you because this isn’t an “act of God”, but because the Corps of Engineers. That’s what I’ve heard from neighbors (I’m on the Nebraska side of this flood!)

By: Brianne

Brianne — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 23:51:52 +0000

I believe Trent should read up on the HSA. Our company’s benefits advisor always tauts them as an excellent way to bump up your retirement savings if you’re already maxing out everything else. (Unfortunately, I’m not in their income bracket yet so I still use the super cheap HMO.)

By: Kathryn

Kathryn — Thu, 09 Jun 2011 22:03:01 +0000

Q2: I live in a city that flooded last year, and I can recommend a few things that people did here to help minimize damage to their homes. First, move everything you can to higher ground, whether that means another location (self-storage, family/friend’s home) or just a higher level of your house. Second, sandbag your property. Third, if you do flood, get back in there and clean it up ASAP.
Q8: I second Trent’s suggestion. I have family in Toronto and have visited there many times, and the mass transit is good enough that commuting by car, even from the nearby suburbs, is really unnecessary.