Personally, our first child is 14 months now and I am enjoying the moment to moment stuff quite a bit. I am not going to pretend it’s nothing but peaches and roses. But I do genuinely get enjoyment out of most of the small stuff.

Well, are ya gonna share that perfect solution???

:-)

They grew up to be wonderful adults also – witty, intelligent, hard working. Of course, they have some faults and a couple of them might be major. But I love them.

The one idea I instilled in them, after love of God, was of independence. They both went against my beliefs on a single item – that I know of. But, I told everyone that, since I had raised them to be independent, I could not now grouse because they disagreed with me. They must make their own choices in life. And, boy, do they!!!!

I had a hard row to hoe with my son before age 5. He is one who had to do it his way. So, at age 5, I came up with the perfect solution. I often wonder why it took me so long, but remember that parents, like every other human being, are also slow at times.

(Yes, there are exceptions, such as #18FMF, but these are freak occurrences and defy the laws of nature). Beware!

Point taken. Part of being a good parent is knowing when to mind my own business. But part of being a good parent is knowing when and how to offer assistance when life spins them into a ditch.

Your points are eloquently made and i agree with most. However I would have to say that my parents truly stopped parenting me when I married 25 years ago at the ripe old age of 21 3/4. The financial support stopped, unsolicated advice stopped, and it was even difficult for me to get solicited advice. They would generally remind me that they raised me with the ability to come to the right decision on my own, without their help. They also have not “parented” my children, but have fully enjoyed their special position of grandparents…which has brought them the joys of children without the responsbilities. Yes, I know that they do worry of my kids, but they do NOT parent them.

I do have co-workers and friends who have tried and or “needed” to parent adult children and grandchildren, and often the results are less than spectacular. It seems like these adult kids often fail to grow up and take responsbility for their own lives…

Children must be taught the rules of society, too many are raised to believe they are the center of the universe and important above all others. And they grow up to barge into our offices and demand immediate attention regardless of their place in line.

Parenting is a life long experience. You continue parenting your adult children long after they fly from the nest. And then you parent your grandchildren and hopefully great grandchildren. And you parent your parents as their mental and physical health declines. Fortunately, friends and siblings can parent us as we need it, as we do them. Such is the circle of life. You’ll never understand the extremes of joy, exhileration, sorrow and pain of parenthood until you experience it – as both happiness and pain will strike at once.

As the youngest of the brood, I have seen my grandparent’s and parent’s generation die off and my generation age into the abyss of the elderly. Meanwhile, three newer generations have been born and are maturing with guidance from their elders. Being part of shaping the newest members of the human race has been most gratifying, it is time well spent. But the pain of watching them ignore your teachings is excrutiating.

Working for a living really does interfer with raising youngsters of all ages. Anyone who thinks otherwise is a fool. Appearance matters. Behavior is critical. Taking calls from your clients after hours keeps your business prospering and lifestyle intact. Emergencies from work can and will overshadow family time just as family time will trump all else. Such is the nature of the world, everyone has to attend to the things that keeps their lives afloat – both in family and business matters.

The list does exist. I saw it about 3 months ago. Thankfully I was not one. I had to laugh at comment #8 as I have two teenage boys and there have been MANY MANY times in recent years that I haven’t enjoyed parenting. I think about 90% of my friends would say the same thing, and most of us have pretty good kids. Trent has only been a parent for 5 years folks. He isn’t an expert and I sometimes wonder why so many people are asking for his parenting advice. For our parenting mentors, we chose people who were quite a bit older that had successfuly raised 2 or 3 kids to adulthood.

I also tend to agree with the posters who think Trent might be living in an overly child centered household.

I also completely agree with Johanna regarding the co-workers that just barge into my office and start a conversation…often not work related…when I am OBVIOUSLY busy working. Sometimes I am even on the phone and they come right in and sit down and wait for me to get off. These people often deserve to be ignored…

Children who are the utmost center of the family, being put sometimes even before the marriage, can become self-absorbed-why wouldn’t they? All they ever hear is how they are the most important thing. And for these kids parenthood will be a real trial, as it would require turning on a dime into an entirely different person to cope with the sacrifices and delayed gratification.

In helicopter parenting, the child is the planet, and the parents are satellites. Better, and ideally, the parents are the planet, with firm ground, and the child is a rocket that if launched well, will go off on their own and reach for the stars!

Someone has to write the list “You know you’re a helicopter parent when…