Comments on: The Indirect Connection

By: getagrip

getagrip — Wed, 14 Dec 2011 13:52:07 +0000

@11 Kristine Common sense isn’t. People assume too often that everyone has a general level of basic experience and understanding that is similar to their own experiences, attitudes, and upbringing. This why a “city slicker” visiting a rural area for the first time sticks out like a sore thumb (and vice versa). Their frames of reference and connections are not “common”. This is a basis for a lot of comedy but we seem to forget about it when dealing with others.

By: kristine

kristine — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 19:45:24 +0000

This is all just common sense, don’t you think? You want to know something- ask people who know about it, or people who regularly interact with people who know about it! If I want to know what pet food to use- I do not need to ask a vet or trainer- I can ask the guy at PETCO, who talks to all those people.

I have bought my best/cheapest used cars this same way-it’s the most obvious way to go about it, at least to me. What’s the big revelation? Used car lots are for suckers?

It’s not polite to feign interest in people, or make a social connection, purely as an investment in getting something out of it later. Disingenuous or forced engagement is easily read, and a big fat turn-off. If you are courteous, and do not treat people as invisible functionaries, most are willing to help you! Most people I have met enjoy being helpful. But you have to be open to stepping in and helping other with a phone call or email in a turn-about too!

By: joan

joan — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:33:19 +0000

@ #4 Brittany: Completely agree. Was ready to unsubscribe, but after reading this I’ll hang on a bit longer…

By: tentaculistic

tentaculistic — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:29:09 +0000

This is how I got my car, I asked a friend who always drove the kind of car I wanted, and he asked his mechanic, who knew someone who wanted to sell her car fast. I got just what I wanted at a ridiculously good price.

I tend to be someone who has a hard time remembering that efficiency is not always the best trait, and that lingering and talking with people can both be more fulfilling socially, but also can make connections that can help in concrete ways. I have to admit, I’m pretty shy with strangers, despite appearing confident, so I find talking to strangers hard to do cold. I guess that’s the point of a network.

My mother often makes me crazy with her meandering ways that make any errand a long drawn-out affairs, but I have to admit that when she needs something, she has an enormous network to put the word out, and she gets some really crazy nice stuff for very cheap. I guess it’s good to step back and be able to value different ways of approaching the world…

By: Lori

Lori — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 16:06:45 +0000

There was a really good article similar to this written in the Tighwad Gazette about “putting the word out”. The author, Amy Dacyczyn, used this as an example of helping her daughter acquire earrings for her newly-pierced ears. It works in many ways. We got our swingset free this way, among a multitude of other things we use on a daily basis. We use it both ways too. We get rid of things this way too that we no longer need….everyone benefits and goodwill is spread.

By: Diane

Diane — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:41:56 +0000

Sometimes the hardest thing is to ask for help. This is a great example of networking and it’s not about getting a job!

By: kevin

kevin — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 10:43:07 +0000

I simply read this blog to learn that you just simply ask for help. Then you can simply save money.

By: AnnJo

AnnJo — Tue, 13 Dec 2011 01:36:32 +0000

Not everyone is as conscious of the motive of networking and building relationships as Trent is. A lot of times, people are just trying to be kind and helpful for no motive at all other than kindness and helpfulness.

By: Brittany

Brittany — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:52:39 +0000

Great article on an underutilized networking practice! I’ve been increasingly frustrated with this site as of late, but this article was a solid one.

By: valleycat1

valleycat1 — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:40:28 +0000

#1 Matt – you don’t really have to be plugged in to the community that well. A few examples: Any vet’s office will know of dogs & cats available for adoption. Most any store that sells games like Trent’s will most likely know of someone who paints the figures, or will have a message board you can post a request on. Craft store owners will know of people who will hand make items for you. I work in a school for handicapped children & we often respond to phone calls from the public looking for child care or babysitters, summer day camps, or parenting classes. My husband is often putting out feelers for items or services he needs for his business with the various people he deals with or that he runs into in related businesses. You might get a better deal on a large purchase like a car if you’re someone the mechanic knows, but it isn’t a requirement.

By: Rockledge

Rockledge — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 22:30:10 +0000

This is exactly how we got a good used car for my son; we asked our repair guy.

We also got a good used car through my husband’s work. He knew a fellow engineer with no family who kept excellent care of his cars and who liked to replace them every 10 years even if they ran well. My husband knew when this guy was ready to sell and we got a very nice used car for a good price and no hassle on our part or the seller’s.

By: Matt

Matt — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 21:35:37 +0000

Really good method… and yet another plug for becoming invested in a community (and perhaps for buying local?). If you’re not involved, you don’t have these sorts of connections.

I live in a fairly transient area, but a slightly less-transient town within that area. I’m working on building my connections… at this point I could do this in some areas, but certainly not all.