Comments on: Fail

By: AnnJo

AnnJo — Wed, 21 Dec 2011 01:38:46 +0000

I hadn’t. Spot on, MattJ.

By: Johanna

Johanna — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 16:42:04 +0000

It’s so cute that you think there’s anyone in the world who hasn’t seen that xkcd strip already.

By: MattJ

MattJ — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 06:27:25 +0000

“Your comment is awaiting moderation.”

I put a link in my response to David #18, so it may take a while for it to appear. For the web-savvy, the link is to XKCD comic #386, which may give him a clue why people who might disagree with Trent (including myself) may continue to appear here.

By: tentaculistic

tentaculistic — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 18:12:51 +0000

Very useful post – I tend to get discouraged by my own perceptions or projections of failure, and while that often benefits me by keeping me working hard to avoid screwing up, its flip side is anxiety and fear of starting new things. This is a good reminder to breathe – “failing” is ok, and often we learn as much from failure as from success.

Actually, when I worked in special education, I was so very thankful for my own failure in school. School has always come easily to me, except in languages – and one language in particular was *impossible* to learn. I would work so hard, and still be so far behind – I’d leave class angry, defeated, and feeling stupid. And this is someone with a solid self-esteem in school! Later on this experience was one I remembered over and over, realizing it was just a small taste of the struggle – to learn and to keep up self respect – that people with learning disabilities face every day. I am so very thankful for that failure, since I think it helped me so much later. It’s funny how often failure is turned on its head into success, with the right atttitude… not to get too Hallmark here :)

By: Skirnir Hamilton

Skirnir Hamilton — Mon, 19 Dec 2011 05:06:46 +0000

What I would find more helpful is what are we to learn from our failures? (If we must call them failures, which yes, I would prefer not.) IE sometimes things don’t workout and it has little to do with us or us failing at something. It is just life and it is time to move on.

My problem is that I see something not work out and I do wonder if I did something wrong. How do we figure out what cause the failure? Us, the universe, just a natural occurance? I can’t just dwell on past failures and rarely do I think we figure out what caused the “failure” but maybe that is just me not figuring out my failures.

By: Ali Manning

Ali Manning — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 14:39:43 +0000

Thanks for the fabulous post and the great reminder to learn from our failures. Perfect timing as I get ready to write down my goals for 2012.

By: deRuiter

deRuiter — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 17:50:31 +0000

“….I started dating a girl that was interesting to me.” “who”, not “that.” Think what success would be available to a writer who learned proper grammar and used spell check!!!!!!

By: Mark

Mark — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 13:31:54 +0000

One common theme in many posts seems to be ‘I don’t see X as failure’, I learned stuff from it and it was valuable to me as an experience. I believe this is Trent’s point, referring to these things as failure is simply to say that we were going down a path that had a naturally recognized endpoint and we did not get there. The sad reality is that many folks do look at experiences like these as failure, int the true, harsh sense of the term, and it inhibits and shapes the rest of their lives.

By: justin

justin — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 02:57:43 +0000

@david, i agree, i would also like to know

By: Michael

Michael — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 02:19:44 +0000

Johanna and lurker carl for president.

By: AnnJo

AnnJo — Sat, 17 Dec 2011 00:47:49 +0000

@18, David,
I may disagree with Johanna’s politics, but her understanding of finance and taxation issues is far superior to Trent’s and it’s a needed counterpoint to some of his less well-researched advice. Some people read this blog because they want to develop their knowledge in those areas; in many cases, they’ll learn as much or more from the comments as from the original post.

By: David

David — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 23:14:09 +0000

@#9 Johanna – Here is what I don’t get. You seem to find little if any value in this blog–all your comments are generally pedantic at best and snarky & disparaging at worst. And you comment on just about every other article. Which suggests you are a regular reader? If you hate this place so much, why do you keep coming back? I am seriously asking for an explanation.

By: steve in w ma

steve in w ma — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:29:25 +0000

It’s not the failure, it’s the effort. There’s nothing golden whatsoever about failure per se. It’s the consistent effort that moves one towards success, and without which there cannot be success.

By: Michael

Michael — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 21:20:09 +0000

Evita, he means either the blog was not attracting much readership and he decided to stop working on it, or something forced him to stop writing it. For example, I believe Trent stopped the parenting blog because he received some threats or unwanted attention directed toward his children.

By: lurker carl

lurker carl — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 20:07:44 +0000

Failure, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.

By: Evita

Evita — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 19:16:50 +0000

How can a blog fail ? someone please explain !

By: Riki

Riki — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:42:00 +0000

I think there’s a difference between “failing to reach a goal” and “changing a goal” — it’s subtle, but important.

By: Mister E

Mister E — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:21:47 +0000

If you set a goal for yourself and you don’t achieve that goal, for whatever reason, then you have failed to achieve your goal.

It may be for a perfectly legitimate reason, and in the long run it could most certainly be for the best, but it is still in a very real way a failure. A failure to achieve a goal that you set for yourself.

If you go to college with a goal of majoring in English and you do anything other than graduate as an English major then you have failed in that goal.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing, and I think that the point.

By: jim

jim — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 17:14:30 +0000

Trent isn’t saying that if you don’t hit his specified level of success that you’re a failure. There are different measures and levels of success or failure and different people have different goals.

By: Adam P

Adam P — Fri, 16 Dec 2011 16:31:45 +0000

Some of my biggest “failures” have turned out to be successes in hindsite because they put me where I am today (happy, stable, etc.)

Seeing the world in black and white pass/fail like this is troubling.

Sara and you may someday divorce, that would be a “fail” but you’d still have your time together and adorable kids from this experience which is beyond measure a success.