Comments on: Reader Mailbag: Personal Projects Undone

By: MattJ

MattJ — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 04:57:46 +0000

#61 Mary

Someone wrote that abstinence isn’t necessarily 100% safe? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess not if you’re the virgin Mary.

Sister Lucy Vertrusc was, one supposes, practicing abstinence as well as one might expect anyone to do. Events and mass-raping Serbian soldiers somehow overcame her determination, however.

By: jim

jim — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 23:10:06 +0000

Thats nice Johanna.

By: Johanna

Johanna — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 21:42:28 +0000

jim, if you don’t understand how the distinction between procreative and non-procreative activities is not always trivial, there are a number of excellent sex education websites you can visit. I’m not going to spell it out for you.

By: jim

jim — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 21:35:38 +0000

Does abstinence only sex ed actually explain how sex works? Cause if it doesn’t that would be a pretty major flaw in the instruction.

By: Margaret

Margaret — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 19:50:10 +0000

What Tom S. said in #64– contraceptives ALL have failure rates. So unless you’re willing to use abortion as your “back-up” method, which many of us simply are *not*, then yeah, sometimes unplanned babies happen.

Back to Q3– as previously mentioned, it’s a straight-forward matter to set up on Mint. It’s free. You’ll at least have some picture of where the heck the money goes each month. You’d be surprised.

Further– yes, do sign onto Freecycle. Also, if your local neighborhood or church has a mom’s group, get on their email list. Don’t be bashful. Lots of people have lightly used clothing, furniture, etc. to give away. Packages of NB diapers that they only used one or two out of before realizing junior really needed up move up to size 1 diapers. Etc… Most folks are so much happier letting go of their “stuff” if they know it will be put to good use in a new home.

Best of luck, and in case nobody on here has said it, CONGRATULATIONS on your baby.

By: Johanna

Johanna — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 19:10:03 +0000

If one defines abstinence as “abstaining from procreative activities while engaging in non-procreative activities,” one might be mistaken about which activities are procreative and which are not.

By: jim

jim — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 18:58:45 +0000

Using abstinence incorrectly is an interesting notion.

By: Tom S.

Tom S. — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 17:04:48 +0000

Well, one of the problems with contraception is that all methods, including sterilization, have a FAILURE RATE. This means that some babies will, in fact, “just happen”, no matter how “careful” you are.

People talk about contraception as if it always works and then “blame the victim” when it doesn’t. The personal finance lesson to take from this is that if you absolutely can not accept a baby at this time, then you’d be wise to abstain. If you don’t abstain (is that a double negative?) then you ought to be prepared to accept the possible consequences.

By: Johanna

Johanna — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 17:03:45 +0000

Mary and Eric: Every contraceptive method has an effectiveness rate for “perfect use” and one for “typical use.” Abstinence doesn’t get special treatment in that regard. The “typical use” rate includes couples who use the method inconsistently or incorrectly. Surely you can imagine how abstinence practiced inconsistently or incorrectly can result in pregnancy?

By: Eric

Eric — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 16:52:42 +0000

Yes Mary, I was a bit puzzled by Gillian’s comment as well.

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 16:17:09 +0000

Someone wrote that abstinence isn’t necessarily 100% safe? LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I guess not if you’re the virgin Mary.

By: Tom

Tom — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 16:14:00 +0000

“And a LOT of folks are unaware that contraception is available for as little as 9$ a month so I think knowing that is actually helpful.”

You can get a 40 pack of condoms for $10 at costco. I think that’s more than a month’s worth of contraception for many couples.

By: Mary

Mary — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 16:12:51 +0000

If I click on a reader mailbag number in your e-mail, they all lead to Netflix advertisement, not the subject you wrote about. Coming here to your website the reader mailbag number clicks work, but not in the e-mail.

By: CNP76

CNP76 — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 14:39:02 +0000

#55 Emma: I am saying I am tired of folks on frugal blogs being surpised that babies “just happen”. It gets old when people continually fail to take responsibility for their actions and then wonder how it all “just happened”. And if she doesn’t figure out how they “just happen”, it will happen again. And that IS important. And a LOT of folks are unaware that contraception is available for as little as 9$ a month so I think knowing that is actually helpful.

By: Johanna

Johanna — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 11:58:53 +0000

deRuiter, not only do you seem confused about how health insurance works, perhaps you are unaware of the significance of the “personhood” laws being brought up in various states, which would outlaw hormonal birth control. Just because none of them has passed (yet) doesn’t mean it’s not profoundly disturbing that so many lawmakers and would-be lawmakers (including, I think, all four of the Republican presidential candidates) think they’re a good idea.

And then there’s the Obama administration’s bizarre and condescending reversal of the FDA decision to make Plan B available without a prescription to people of all ages.

So yes, we’ve got a political climate in which contraception is controversial.

By: deRuiter

deRuiter — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 11:07:11 +0000

#9 Johanna, Contraception isn’t controversial, anyone may practice contraception in America. It’s asking me as a taxpayer to pay for contraceptive devices for someone else which is controversial.

By: Emma

Emma — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 02:37:36 +0000

Q3 So much bashing and pointing out the married couple who is expecting a child. Some suggest that they reverse the situation and start using contraceptives STAT. ($9per month only!) As if they were two 16 years old teens. Somehow pregnancies are not unusual and often times follow marriages. Not everything is measures with a ruler and a piggy bank. Seems like adults nowadays are not ready for marriage(or never will be) and are overwhelmed with otherwise natural life events like having a child. The young lady asks for help, apparently she does;t know how to manage her family income. Instead she is lectures of consequences of unprotected sex.
Trent is right, they will survive somehow but is not going to be easy now or 5 years from now if they don’t change some life strategies. Reading frugality blogs is a good start. Maybe learning cooking(both) and living below the means is next. They both work and are in reality are better off then many young people out there.

By: Marinda

Marinda — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 01:11:00 +0000

I go through the credit card bill EVERY month and if the food/takeout/eat out amount is crazy, I watch out for the next several months and wind it down.

But with family visiting, my kids “shopping” in my pantry and travel related meals, sometimes its a crazy number. But some months, its all meals at home and eating from the pantry and freezer. Balance and reason help get you out of bad habits and into better ones.

By: Mister E

Mister E — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 00:56:31 +0000

Q3 –

`There are days where i have no clue how we can spend all that money`

Start here. Figure out PRECISELY how you spend all of that money.

`but I’ve been working hard on our grocery spending because at times I think we were spending 1000 a month on groceries, and takeout…`

Same thing, track every penny. That`s the only way to tell where you can cut, and at that level of spending you have a LOT of room to cut. My wife and I feed ourselves quite nicely on 110 dollars a week. In fact we could cut THAT by a fair margin if we needed to.

`Now we are not huge spenders`

Yes. You are. At least on groceries. Very, very big spenders.

By: SwingCheese

SwingCheese — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 00:40:12 +0000

@27 Maria: Excellent point, and one that seems to have gotten overlooked. $1000 a month on groceries for two people is incredible. We are a family of four and our grocery bill sits around $700 a month. And I’m still pretty sure that we could trim that down if we tried! Also, we made far less than 70K a year, I was the primary breadwinner of the family, so we took a pay cut when I stayed home with kiddo on maternity leave, and we had nowhere NEAR $1800 saved up. But we had figured out a budget that included taking care of the kid and worked within those parameters and it was fine. That would be my advice for Q3: to first figure out WHERE their money is going. Then figure out where to make cuts. Offhand, I’d start with the groceries. (Seriously, $1000? Are they throwing away a lot of food or something?)