I recently received the following email from a reader, who I will call Annie:

I’ve been reading your site for a while now, and while I do enjoy much of your advice, I must admit there is one thing that really frustrates me. You talk a lot about saving and investing, but what if you’re living paycheck to paycheck? What if you have just gotten out of college, have over 100k in student loan debt, dislike your current job, work long hours, but make only enough money to cover rent? Are there ways to get out of a job you hate and even a career you regret majoring in when you’re smothered in debt? Is it safe to do? If you could maybe write something on handling student debt I would appreciate it. I’ve always been a saver, and it frustrates me to no end that I have to choose between saving 5 dollars in the bank or buying food for the day.

So, how can we come up with a plan to help Annie out? First of all, let’s make a list of the problems:

Significant debt Annie has more than $100,000 in student loan debt, a pretty significant amount.

A low level of income From this email, it seems as though Annie is only making enough to cover rent, her utilities, and her student debt payments.

Career dissatisfaction She also seems very unhappy with her career to this point, particularly in the sense that the hours are longer than she is comfortable with.

However, Annie has some major advantages, too:

Youth She’s pretty freshly out of school, which would generally indicate youth.

No dependents She’s apparently not married, and also apparently has no children.

Some degree of intelligence She managed to complete some level of college, which is better than the majority of Americans.

What follows is my personal advice to Annie. I am not a professional planner in any way; these are merely personal suggestions on what I would do in Annie’s shoes.

First of all, I would get out of the job. If a job is bad enough to make you question every choice you have made since leaving high school, then there’s a problem. Start searching for anything besides this job, even if it’s not in your field. If the pay is truly low as you describe, there may even be jobs like working at Home Depot that are appropriate (Home Depot pays well - I have family members that work there that make surprisingly good incomes).

Why quit the job before anything else if the finances are in dire straits? The job is pretty clearly creating some significant stress and a rather negative mindset about the world for Annie. If a job is such that it is making your whole world view negative, it’s probably also causing you to miss out on a lot of other opportunities that might be going on in your life.

Second, spend some time figuring out what you really want to do. It may be that the job has just poisoned your taste for what you majored in, or it may be that your life has a different calling. You need some time away from the situation to figure that out, which is another advantage of getting a job in a completely different career path. It may also be worth your while to move to another part of the country, to a place where the cost of living is lower than where you’re at right now.

Third, learn to live frugally. Many people who are stuck in a routine of working long hours for low pay often don’t eat well or prepare their own food. Give it a try. Also, look at the things in your life that are monthly, regular bills and ask yourself which ones you could remove. Are you paying for cable? Toss that out for a while and enjoy some books instead. Do you have an expensive cell phone plan? Get the cheapest plan you can - or ditch the cell phone entirely. Do you have subscriptions to other entertainment services, like Netflix, etc. Cancel ‘em. Sell stuff you have that you don’t need, especially anything that has sat unused for a few months.

Fourth, look for community support. I’m not talking about food stamps. Look for community organizations, even churches, that offer things that might be useful to you. Maybe a community group has a freewill supper on Wednesday evenings - stop by there, enjoy a meal on the cheap, and meet some people. Perhaps you can pay a visit to a pastor in the area who might have ideas of things you can do.

Finally, know your debts. Find out if your current student loan debts have any extra benefits if you pay a certain number of payments on time, or if you direct deposit your payments. Also, look into consolidating your loans, especially if you can find ones that make you eligible for such benefits. With $100K in student loan debt, even shaving off a quarter of a percent can make a big difference in the monthly payments. If you have no idea where to start, contact the financial aid office at the college you attended and ask for help.

Good luck, Annie.

To set the mood:

The 1960s were the decade in which my parents grew up. Their parents were the so-called Greatest Generation and I, for one, actually think that moniker is appropriate, considering that their childhood was the Great Depression and their early adulthood was fighting World War II, a set of experiences almost beyond my grasp. My parents (and with some good probability, yours) grew up in the era of the rise of the military-industrial complex, in which people could reasonably expect to get a solid paying job and stay there throughout their lives.

This meant several things:

One, American education was the envy of the world. You simply couldn’t get a better education than the one provided by an American institution. Colleges were yet to be overcrowded as even then only a small minority went to college, so if you were to get post-secondary education in the United States, you were set.

Two, real worker compensation was never higher. In terms of the actual value of a dollar at the time, the average American worker had it made in the 1960s and 1970s. No matter what you did in life, you could fall back on a factory job that would pay you a strong enough wage that you could make it, no matter what.

Three, although the Soviet menace was real, it was distant. Although the Cold War was terrifying in its own way, it never ascended into a fighting war and there was never any sort of direct attack on American soil. The Vietnam War was ongoing, but it was literally on the other side of the globe, abstracting in a way the bitter horrors of war and death.

Four, the art of marketing and consumerism was in a nascent stage. Look at the sophistication of advertising in the 1960s and compare it to now. There were some baby steps, clearly, but the psychological edge of today’s marketing utterly blows away what you would find in those days.

Five, the price of homes in real dollars was extremely low compared to today. The price of a home since 1960 has gone up at a rate much faster than inflation, a bull run that is perhaps finally being slowed or reversed after many years of incredible growth. Thus, someone who bought a home in 1960 stumbled into a killer investment.

Six, employers took long-term care of their employees. If a person worked in a factory for thirty years, the company would guarantee them a pension that would safely enable them to live out the end of their days in a comfortable fashion. If you took care of the company, it took care of you.

Under these assumptions, my parents could buy a home (rather cheap) when they were younger than I am right now merely on the wages earned with just one of them working a seasonal factory job (which paid quite well). Because of this factory job, they now receive a very nice pension after having never put anything into their own retirement plan.

Does this sound like your economic reality? It certainly sounds nothing like mine. My reality is more like this:

It involves employment that treats me more as an independent contractor instead of a real team member, which means I have to save for my own retirement rather than plan on a pension.

It involves homes that are amazingly expensive, even in the relatively cheap area where I live.

It involves no “fall back” plan in the form of abundant factory work that anyone can do. The fall-back jobs that I know of make minimum wage, which is far less than a true living wage in the United States.

My parents regularly offer “advice” on how I should manage my finances based on these assumptions that their childhoods and early adult lives showed them, pointers such as you should buy a house as soon as you’re married and you’re young - you should be buying fun stuff - go ahead and get that monster plasma television. Their hearts are undoubtedly in the right place, and they are speaking things they believe to be true, but they aren’t true for me - if I took their advice, I would be in the poor house.

So what’s my solution? If you are given advice by your parents - or by anyone at all (including me) - consider the assumptions they’re coming from. Are they valid for you? Even if they are, ask yourself does this advice really make sense for me? Don’t just blindly follow any advice.

Several people have written me in the last month asking how I shave (assuming that I do it in a somewhat frugal fashion) or offering suggestions on how to save money by shaving frugally. As I’ve mentioned in the past, I place a high value on personal appearance, so I feel it’s appropriate to get a good shave, even if it’s not the least-expensive choice.

First of all, I keep my face cleanly shaven. No facial hair whatsoever. This means that I shave daily and I use the razor quite heavily.

The razor The first piece of equipment I use is an old fashioned safety razor. The model I use is actually one inherited from my grandfather, but it is extremely similar to the Merkur Classic. This will be a $30 initial investment to get started, but a good safety razor will last a lifetime.

Once you’ve made that initial investment, however, it becomes substantially cheaper to shave. The replacement blades for a safety razor, when bought in bulk, cost about $0.50 a piece and last me for about ten days. For example, you can buy a ten pack of blades from Amazon for $4.95, and if you hunt around, you can sometimes find them cheaper than that.

Shaving cream Quite honestly, the aerosol shaving cream that you ordinarily use will continue to work. Having said that, I’ll describe what I personally recommend for shaving. Please note that these items make for great gifts from a loved one (your mother, sister, or wife are all appropriate) for Christmas.

First of all, I don’t apply shaving cream with my hand; I use a badger hair brush. If you’ve ever seen an old movie including a man shaving, there’s a good chance you’ve seen one in use (or just watch this music video - I can’t believe I just linked to that). The brush does a much better job than the hand of getting the cream up under the facial hair, making the shaving much smoother.

I also tend to use aerosol cream if there’s nothing else available, but I often receive tins or tubes of real shaving cream as a gift, like this tin from Geo. F Trumper. In any case, I just wet my face (like right after a shower) and get some cream on the end of the brush and brush it on my face, stroking against the grain. Then I shave gently with the grain, using short strokes.

The safety razor and blades are substantially cheaper than disposables (even the low-end disposables, which need to be tossed after a single shave, at least for me - they may be cheaper per blade, but the safety razor blades last for about ten shaves and don’t burn my face) and produce less waste, thus saving money slowly but surely over the long run. As for the shaving cream and brush, they’re not necessary, but I’ve found that they produce a very close shave, smell quite good, and enhance the shaving experience.

After the recent discussion of stay at home parenting and the stellar response that it received, it became clear that the question about whether to be a stay at home parent wasn’t so much about money as it was about values.

In most situations, sound personal finance choices are in line with typical goals, such as buying a home or saving for retirement. However, many people are compelled to make long-term value-based choices that have negative long-term personal finance ramifications. I know we are, as we piece through whether or not it makes sense to have a stay-at-home parent.

This realization made me think deeply about what the purpose of The Simple Dollar is and the value of what I talk about on here. So often, this site takes the bottom dollar and makes it king above all else: what maximizes your pocketbook. The truth of the matter is that personal finance isn’t an end to itself, but merely a tool to help you achieve your dreams.

Like any tool, personal finance can be dangerous if you don’t wield it correctly; giving a person without a strong financial backbone a credit card is like giving a two year old a machete. However, in the hands of a mature person, personal finance is a precision instrument that can be used to turn an unfinished dream into a beautiful reality.

In other words, personal finance decisions should complement your dreams, not replace them or fight them. When you make a choice, personal finance management is a skill that can let you know how that choice will affect many of your other choices. Can I really afford this? isn’t merely a money question; it’s a question of how important is this thing to your overall life in comparison to other things.

In the past, I’ve spoken of a “switch” that goes on for people when they suddenly “get it” and start kicking their savings into gear and start eliminating debt. That switch has nothing to do with money; it is merely a switch from focusing on short term goals like a new sweater to focusing on longer-term goals like owning a nice home and retirement. At the core, it’s not a growth in personal finance skills, it’s a change in goals and values that lead to a person trying out new finance tactics.

Whenever you read a piece of advice on this site, take it in the context of what’s important to you. When I demonstrate a way to save ten dollars, ask yourself whether this is a tool you can use to achieve your dreams. When I talk about building an emergency fund or buying a mutual fund, ask yourself whether this matches up with your true values.

Remember always that “finance” is the second word in personal finance; the first word is “personal.” Let your own goals and values lead the way whenever you make a choice, and use personal finance as a tool to assist in those choices.

Recently, I wrote an article about little things that immigrants to America might be surprised to know about money, consumerism, and human relations in the United States. It kicked up some interesting controversy in the comments, in which some immigrants basically stated that I shouldn’t be offering advice to them because I don’t understand their experience.

Anyway, one comment on the post struck a chord with me that has resonated for a while; here’s what Diamond had to say:

Of course this isn’t the end all be all, and doesnÕt cover everything that would be impossible for one person to write. You hear from travelers that go to other countries all the time, one of their biggest pieces of advice is to try to “blend” in with the culture. Try to be more conservative. It does help to get used to things, and will make life easier while youÕre still learning and integrating in.

Diamond hit upon something important here - the value of etiquette. Before you get concerned that I’m going to start quoting Amy Vanderbilt (although I am secure enough in my manhood to admit that I’ve read her Complete Book of Etiquette), I’m not referring to etiquette in the remember-which-of-these-seven-forks-is-the-salad-fork variety. I merely mean paying attention to and respecting the culture you’re choosing to participate in.

Why is this valuable? It’s valuable because basic etiquette shows respect and consideration for others who may hold opportunities of incalculable imagination for you. Much as I discussed earlier on the value of personal appearance, the impression that others have of you is an investment, and if you put very little into it, you’ll get very little out of it. Even more than personal appearance, proper etiquette is vital; you can be as poor as a pauper and still demonstrate a high level of etiquette and create a positive impression on others.

What should I do? Here are my ten basic points of etiquette. Don’t worry, these aren’t the “best of Emily Post” - they’re merely some guidelines to ensure that you show courtesy and respect towards others, who will then retain a positive impression of you.

Be on time
Don’t be habitually late. Make an extra effort to be on time - in fact, I usually seek to be everywhere I need to be five minutes early.

Don’t be crude
Avoid the following behaviors: swearing, shouting unnecessarily, getting angry, staring, pointing your finger, picking at your body (your teeth, nose, ears, etc.), scratching your skin, chewing gum in mixed company, and smoking in mixed company.

Don’t check your watch
This is my worst habit, one I’m trying to break. You should avoid checking your watch or the wall clock, as it creates an impression that you’d rather not be there (whether it’s true or not). If you do it, you’re giving a clear cue that you are not enjoying present company and it reduces the impression others have of you.

Avoid unpleasant conversation topics
While I don’t hesitate to discuss religion or politics with people close to me, it’s generally not a polite topic for mixed company. Also, you should avoid discussing personal finances and work except in the quirky and anecdotal sense - avoid specifics.

Greet people appropriately
This should almost always involve standing and a handshake or at least a nod of the head.

Always shake hands when you meet someone
When you meet someone new, take a moment to shake their hand. Stop, look them in the eye, and offer your right hand (always your right, even if you’re left handed). Give a firm grip and shake no more than twice, then let go. Don’t go for the double-handed “Bill Clinton” shake unless you’re in an intimate situation.

Always introduce people who do not know each other
If you are in the presence of two people who do not know each other, make an effort to introduce the two of them, even if you’re not the host of the event. By doing this, you are not only reducing the discomfort in the room, you’re effectively strengthening your own social network by creating two more secondary connections.

Refer to people by title
Use sir or ma’am until you know a person’s last name, then refer to them as Mr. Smith or Mrs. Wilson or Dr. Friedman until they give you permission to use their first name (many people will do this as a matter of course as soon as you use their title, but will hold you in higher esteem).

Use the “big four” phrases at every appropriate opportunity
The “big four” (as my grandfather taught me) are “thank you,” excuse me,” “you’re welcome,” and “please.” Make an effort to make these words and phrases a regular part of your vocabulary, as it paints a respectful and mature picture of you.

Don’t engage in an ethnic greeting unless you’re highly familiar with the nuances
For example, if you’re not Asian, don’t bow to an Asian guest unless you are familiar with bowing customs.

What’s your dream? Close your eyes for a moment and think about what you would be doing if it wasn’t for the obstacles in your life. For me, I imagine myself behind a large mahogany desk near a large window, a stack of books near me, a cup of hot chocolate on the desk, and my laptop open as I write vigorously. I asked a friend what her dream was, and she described waking up as late as she wanted and then getting a long backrub.

Now, make a list of all of the things that stand in your way of fulfilling this dream. For most of us, our job interferes with it - we need the money that it provides to maintain our lifestyle. It also might cost a lot of money to fulfill that dream, too, on top of that money loss.

What did you just make? You made a checklist of things that you can be doing to live your dream. Is your job an obstacle? Look for other career opportunities or request some changes in your work schedule so that you have time for other things. Is money an obstacle? Spend some time evaluating your finances and you’ll probably discover that you have more money than you thought you did.

It’s also useful to make some financial estimates on each of these items on your checklist, just so you have some tangible dollar amounts to work towards. Would you need $100K to replace your salary and go back to school for a few years? Would $300K pay for a nice piece of land in the country on which to build your dream home?

Most of us walk a path in life that doesn’t lead to a dream; instead, it merely leads to just another day doing things that leave us closing our eyes and dreaming of something else. If this sounds familiar to you, try this exercise - and realize that your dreams are reachable if you start planning for them now, instead of sitting sadly at your desk, drinking another latte and dreaming.

One of the best parts of writing a site like The Simple Dollar is that you get the opportunity to find out what problems others are having with their personal finances. I’ve heard some incredible stories, a few of which I’ve had the opportunity to share on here, and I’ve learned a lot - not only about my own issues with money, but about the common financial issues we all share.

Last night, I came across a blog called Confessions of a Stressed-Out Mom. I came across it because I was searching through parental blogs for some advice on a minor issue I’ve been having with my son (he really likes to throw everything he can grab), so I didn’t really expect to find anything profound on the topic of personal finance. What I found was a person drowning in debt and trying very hard to simply keep her head above water. I spent a lot of time just digging backwards through the archives to piece together the story, and what I found was a compelling picture of a real person facing real debt - and trying to find a way out. Let’s walk through the story a bit.

The first entry that really deals with debt is from June 25, 2006, entitled Get Rich Quick Schemes, which contains the following tidbit:

Sorry if this post is sort of a finanical downer but lately I have been feeling like we are drowning in a sea of debt.

This is just a final, throwaway sentence at the end of a lengthy discussion of the dubious nature of most get-rich-quick schemes, but it indicates that somewhere in the back of her mind, there is an awareness of a deepening financial problem. The big clue as to why this is happening comes just a few days later, on June 28:

In the beginning I was the bread winner and I bought him presents left and right so he grew accustomed to getting whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. I’m sure you can see how we ended up in a great deal of debt because of that philosphy and still digging out to this day.

Sound familiar? Perhaps not the “presents” concept specifically, but almost everyone who ends up in debt trouble go through a lengthy period where we become accustomed to simply having whatever we want - or nearly so. The concept of budgeting, saving, and financial practicality are far less important than a need for more stuff.

Unfortunately, the path to a better financial future goes dry for several months, with almost no hint at all of any mounting debt issues. Again, this is fairly typical; I like to look at it as small tremors before an earthquake. And, yes, an earthquake was coming, as debt issues begin to pop up like crazy, starting with this frightening tidbit from December 1:

I have let our finances get grossly out of control to the point that there are more bills than there is money. And this time there have been no lost jobs and the like to blame it on…only me and my inability to manage money better.

This sounds like a financial armageddon to me. The blunt realization that your poor spending decisions has put you in a situation where you literally can no longer afford to pay your bills is often overwhelming, but even this realization didn’t quite do the full trick. By January 8, our heroine and her husband had obtained a copy of Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University program (a multi-CD and workbook set that I hope she borrowed from her local library rather than buying) and they did Dave’s “quickie budget” exercise. The results weren’t pretty:

For this Quickie Budget you are only to budget your life’s necessities — Shelter, Transportion, Food. Credit Card debt isn’t added to this Quickie Budget at all. So here we are going through all of this and after we are finished low and behold we have $25.27 left to our names at the end of that budget. Mind you I said this didn’t include any credit card payments.

Unfortunately, it looks like the problems still aren’t solved. Take a look at the entry from the very next day:

Just tonight I called about local Jazzercise classes and I am pretty sure that I will be joining them if I can make them fit into the budget. It’s unlimited classes for $35/month.

Hmm… something’s not adding up here. $25.27 left after shelter, transportation, and food, without even touching credit card debt, and yet there’s somehow room for $35 for Jazzercise? At least they’re getting an emergency fund together:

We have been able to come up with a way to get our $1000 emergency fund in place and we will be beginning the debt snowball very soon. It’s going to be a long road ahead and we both know that but I feel we are committed to working on it together.

This makes me think that there may be more breathable room in their budget than they originally thought, but they need another wake-up call and one comes courtesy of Dave Ramsey once again, just a few days later:

As sobering as doing the quickie budget was a few days back doing the actual Cash Flow Plan was even more so — if that’s even humanly possible. So when Dave says people don’t do a budget out of fear of what they will find….he’s absolutely right. Don’t get me wrong I knew we were in bad shape but seeing it in black and white and realizing just how bad of shape it really is — well it’s more than a little scary. Let’s just say that after paying our necessities there is almost nothing left to pay off the credit cards and unsecured debt we have. And neither of us knows how to change that.

Thankfully, the couple have started throwing themselves into the Ramsey plan, which is definitely a step in the right direction. The real sign of a positive direction, though, came in this most recent entry:

I can’t tell you what a great experience it was to know what I was going to pay and had the money to pay them. It gave me such great peace.

This story sounds so familiar to me because I went through this very process, though the things I discovered when coming through the other side were somewhat different. I have just these five pieces of advice to give to this stressed-out mother as she and her family come through the other side of a financial armageddon:

Be diligent. Spend as much of your spare time as you can stand absorbing financial information. The archives of this site are a fine place to start (particularly the 31 Days To Fix Your Finances series), but you can’t go wrong with reading financial books by a wide diversity of authors. Try reading titles like Your Money or Your Life, Smart Couples Finish Rich, The Millionaire Next Door, or The Wealthy Barber. Even if you’re not doing this at the same time as your spouse, you can read the material, absorb what’s important, and give the important pieces to your spouse.

Keep refining and eliminating. Look for both big things and small things you can eliminate from your budget. There are almost infinite ways to save money if you really want to get ahead.

Don’t be afraid to live frugally. Many people are convinced that there is shame in living frugally, that they will be seen as “cheap” or “poor.” The fact is that those same people are the ones in debt up to their eyeballs, unable to sleep at night because of all of the unnecessary stuff they’ve bought.

Involve your spouse in everything. If you’re making major changes to your spending, keep your spouse on the same page, no matter what. Let your spouse know everything that you learn and every idea you’re having. Show them every thing you figure out. If they are still doing things financially you don’t agree with, ask your spouse why and listen to the answer. Do everything you can to make sure that all of your goals are in sync, even if it’s not easy to talk about.

Never forget the fear of being in over your head. Any time you’re tempted to take your eye off the ball - you’re tempted to spend a little extra money because you’ve got plenty in the bank - remember the fear you felt when you were drowning in debt. Even as I walk further and further away from those days, not a day, not even an hour goes by where I don’t remember the feeling in my gut when I really realized that I didn’t have enough money to get through the end of the month, and I sat there next to my son’s crib and cried my eyes out.

In a few months, I might peek in again at this stressed-out mother to see whether or not they’ve stayed on the path to financial freedom.

I was only seven when my grandfather passed away, but during the last year and a half of his life, he made a special effort to take me under his wing and express to me, as only he could, some of the lessons life had taught him. Some of them were hauntingly accurate; others, more quixotic. But I remember most of the lessons incredibly fondly. I would sit beside him on the old green couch in his home, listening to his tales as he told them.

Although I am nowhere near the storyteller that he is, I wanted to share a few of his tales with you, ones that had a lesson related to personal finance. Most of them simply show that the things that were true then are true now.

Diversify your money. My grandfather was a bootlegger in the 1920s. He had an old Tin Lizzy that he used to drive around rural Illinois, carrying his wares under a tarp on the back. Unsurprisingly, given that Prohibition was ongoing, these were cash-only transactions, and he would often drive along in that old rusty machine across the backwoods of Illinois, in the time before there was even many paved roads.

He kept all of his money in a local bank, the building of which was still standing when I was a child (though it has since been torn down). The bank gave everyone 1% interest compounded annually, which was a huge deal at the time for people in the area, as most of them were much more used to keeping cash at home in various hidden places. The owner of the bank was then taking everyone’s investments and investing them directly into stocks. This was a great arrangement for everyone through the 1920s as the stock market went wild, but in October 1929, the stock market crashed.

Most of the businesses that the bank owner was invested in were bankrupt by the end of 1930, but the bank owner kept trying to play the market and make the money back. Well, in late 1931, word got around that the bank had almost no money at all, and lots of people went to the bank to try to collect. The bank just shut their doors, locked them up, and the bank owner left town with what remained of everyone’s money. My grandfather happened to be out on a run then, and when he came back to find himself in financial ruin, it changed his life forever.

He failed because he put all of his money in a single investment that wasn’t all that secure to begin with. If you have money to save and invest, put it in several different places, because you never know what might happen.

If a financial transaction makes you uncomfortable, get out while you can. My grandfather sold a good deal of liquor in the outskirts of Chicago in the 1920s, which meant, unsurprisingly, that he was likely selling liquor to associates of the Capone family, who ruled Chicago at the time. My grandfather often spoke of Capone himself in almost folk hero terms, but Capone’s associates made him quite uncomfortable.

The general arrangement was that my grandfather would drive up to a certain warehouse, unpack his wares, pick up an envelope left laying there, and drive away with the envelope and its contents. The location would change from time to time, of course, and the new instructions were left in the envelope.

Once, the instructions left there were very suspicious, as they described a warehouse next door to a police station. My grandfather sweated about whether to deliver the liquor or not, eventually choosing not to, even though there was some potential risk to his personal safety through this choice. He was afraid of a trap, and the risks of the arrangement became too much for him. If things get uncomfortable, get out as best you can - don’t keep staying in, no matter how good the arrangement treated you in the past.

Insure yourself against the inevitable. Later on in life (well after Prohibition’s end), my grandfather started an independent fishing business. He worked for years building a reputation for his fish market, which he maintained by catching, dressing, and preparing the fish, while his wife minded the market itself. Eventually, when he had children, they became involved as well, helping out with the fishing process to increase the size of his market.

Of course, given that he was a self-employed fisherman, health insurance was the last thing on his mind, so when he was struck down with meningitis in the spring of 1959, he left his family (his wife, a teenage daughter, a younger teenage son, and an even younger son) without any sort of income at all. He had no health insurance, so he basically laid on a bed in the living room of their home, hovering near death for several months, while the daughter and the oldest son basically quit school and took over the fishing business to keep food on the table.

I think this was the single biggest regret of his entire life. He told me tearfully how it hurt him that he couldn’t even stand, but he would watch his children and wife work themselves almost to the bone all around him. When he finally recovered, it wasn’t long before both his daughter and his oldest son were already living their own lives, wandering down paths much different than what their life had originally held for them.

“If you ever do anything, make sure that your family is taken care of, no matter what,” he told me over and over again with a tear in his eye. Finally, I’m following his advice.