This weekend, I’m visiting my parents, and I’ve seen a small army of nieces and nephews and cousins floating through the house. One of the most popular items sitting around is a toy catalog, where my parents have encouraged the various young folks to put their initials very clearly next to items they want. The children have been poring over this catalog with intense care, putting their initials all over the place, and talking excitedly about all of the items that they want for Christmas.

In fact, just earlier today, my nephew went through the catalog with me, showing me items that he wanted on practically every other page. An XBox 360… Guitar Hero III… a gumball machine… a Bears jersey… and those are just the few that I can recall off the top of my head. There were many more items he showed me while leafing through the catalog.

Most people think of this as a rite of Christmas, and I do, too. I used to do the same exact thing, reading through a catalog and marking a wide variety of stuff that I’d like to receive for Christmas. I’d usually expect to receive at least a few of the items I’d marked, and my parents usually would buy me a few of them and leave them wrapped and under the tree.

However, I’m not sure how comfortable I am with the entire thing. It’s pretty clear, from watching my nephew, that the catalog does a very effective job at suggesting gifts to him. He’ll pore over individual pages, look at the images of toys that look like lots of fun to play, uses his imagination a bit, and then jumps on board. The pages are essentially an advertisement, trying to make the toys look as intriguing as possible.

In other words, on some level, Christmas catalogs encourage materialism in young children. It creates a desire within them for objects, particularly ones that they did not even conceive of wanting before the Christmas catalog came along. In fact, ideas from catalogs can often overshadow other ideas - nowhere in a catalog, for example, can one find books or highly open-ended creative toys.

I have no problem with my children wanting toys for Christmas. Toys are a wonderful thing and create countless opportunities for a child to have fun and play creatively. On the other hand, I’m not such a big fan of toys being essentially suggested to my children, either.

So what’s a healthy solution for children? I think the best idea I’ve ever heard came from an old college friend of mine. She said that one day in late October each year, her parents would get out a blank piece of paper and have them start a list of the toys and other items that they wanted for Christmas. As ideas came to them, they’d add them to the list, and then the lists would go away in early December. At no point during the Christmas season did they have a catalog to look at - the toys they listed were either from their own imagination or from other sources.

That sounds like a pretty good plan to me.

Now that Christmas has passed, department stores are drastically dropping the price on Christmas decorations and other seasonal materials in order to clear out floor space. As a frugal individual, now is the time to capitalize so you can save big money next year!

I’ve prepared a shopping list of items that you can pick up on very steep discount right now at your local department store. You can save as much as 80% on these items if you go shopping right now and place them in storage until next December.

Christmas lights I always pick up a couple replacement strands for the next year, as our old ones often wind up with a burnt-out bulb or some other problem when we bring them out of storage after Thanksgiving.

Christmas cards I am a big fan of Christmas card sending (with a personalized handwritten note inside each one, if time permits), so I stock up on these at a huge discount in the days right after Christmas. I can usually buy four boxes for less than one box cost on December 1.

Wrapping paper I’m not one who uses wrapping paper (I tend to use other things), but if you’re the type that uses paper, you’ll never find Christmas wrapping paper cheaper than in the week after Christmas.  Stock up and buy a few rolls now!
Christmas decorations My wife loves to rummage through Christmas decorations at various specialty shops at this time of year. The prices are right to get some amazing stuff for next year’s Christmas.

Ornaments Our extended families have a tradition of getting Christmas tree ornaments for our godchildren each year. We usually select this ornament from Hallmark as their inventory is now on sale at an amazingly low price.

We will probably spend less on all of the stuff we need for next year than we would have spent on just a few decorations if we had shopped early this month.

As I watched a cavalcade of children open up their Christmas gifts, I enjoyed watching the smiles on their faces, but something else troubled me a bit. The children often seemed to covet the most expensive material gifts, while some of the nicer and more thoughtful ones were forgotten in the gift grab.

This left me wondering what we can do to encourage less materialism among children who are asking for the latest consumer goods for Christmas without leaving them disappointed on Christmas morning. The experience of receiving piles of gifts leaves them believing that they must have lots of things to have a complete Christmas.

Here’s my philosophy. The fewer gifts you get for a child, the better. My plan is to buy one significant material gift for my child each year and, if I feel more gifts are necessary, giving a mix of homemade gifts, utilitarian gifts, and investment gifts.

Why do this? I don’t want my child to ever believe that his self-worth is connected to getting the same electronic gadget or toy that his friends also received. I don’t want him to ever tie his self-worth to any sort of material good, because as I watched the children open their gifts and I remembered doing the same when I was a child, I realized that this was part of the reason I found myself in financial armageddon.

Is this right? Is this the way to avoid creating a materialistic child? Is it appropriate to handle Christmas in such a fashion? I don’t know, but it is in the back of my mind this Christmas day.

My family is starting a tradition of writing thank you notes for all gifts received. We’ve received thank you notes from others after giving gifts and we’ve really appreciated the level of courteousness that these notes have represented and has increased our respect for the note-sender. It’s simply a courteous thing to do, and it’s a great way to cement bonds between acquaintances.

There are two problems with this. One, thank you cards are boring. The front says “Thank you” and the inside contains a seemingly generic note that merely says “Thank you for the gift. I will treasure it always.” They’re dull and unimaginative. Two, thank you cards that look classy or distinctive can be really expensive. Take a look around a stationery shop and you’ll quickly notice that the attractive cards are more expensive than the unattractive ones.

So what’s a penny pincher with manners supposed to do? We want to have good manners and send out thank you notes, but we don’t want to send out drab ones - but those cute ones are expensive!

Here’s what I do for my thank you notes that creates strong visual appeal, looks creative, and most importantly, saves money.

Save a piece of wrapping paper or packaging from the gift. For example, if I receive a book, I’ll fold up the wrapping paper and slip it inside the book. In other instances, such as the Moleskine journal I received already as an early gift, I saved part of the packaging - this is generally preferred. I’ll often use a pen to note for sure who gave me that gift.

Get cheap, blank white cards and a glue stick. When you go to buy thank you cards, look for the least expensive ones available, preferably ones that are just completely blank and white. Quite often, you can find better deals on these by avoiding the Hallmark-type store and looking for office supplies. Also, pick up a cheap glue stick - these have many uses, so it’s a good addition to your “junk” drawer.

Use the packaging to spell out the letters “THANK YOU” Take that packaging and cut out big block letters that say “THANK YOU”. Make them large enough so that the packaging is recognizable, but small enough so that all of the letters can be affixed to the front of the card. Arrange the letters how you like, then glue them down to the front of the card with the glue stick.

Write the note. Thank you notes are often boring, so don’t be afraid to liven it up a little. Here’s a great how-to on writing a good note. I often make sure to make it very clear how I’m already using the item, usually in an interesting way.

Drop it in the mail. Easy as pie! When they open the card, observant recipients will note that the design on the front was homemade - and often will notice that it’s made from part of their item’s packaging, indicating to them that you have opened and are using their gift. The note inside is just the cherry on top.

This technique results in thank you cards that are interesting enough that people remember them later, but also are significantly less expensive than the “stylish” Hallmark cards.

Every year, we find ourselves drowning in a giant orgy of gift-giving. We buy and buy physical items that we give to our family and friends, hoping to see a big smile on their face and a warm embrace. For me, my weakness is children; I tend to want to buy them a present that makes them jump up and down with excitement.

What I’ve learned, though, is that it’s not usually the gift itself that they remember. Instead, what they remember is you at Christmas. Think back to your family Christmases. Do people who were exceptionally joyful stick out for you? They do for me, and seeing such joy was what made our large family Christmases memorable. I don’t remember the people who were going through stressful events and were worried about paying for everything; I remember the ones who were happy, the ones who didn’t give the $250 electronic gift.

The first Christmas gift you should buy this year (and every year) is peace of mind for yourself. If you go to your family’s Christmas festivities with extra stress on your heart because you simply spent too much for Christmas, not only will you enjoy the holidays less, but your family will enjoy them less, too. Sure, someone might have that iPod they’ve been yearning for, but what will stick with their heart is the big hug and smile you gave to them, or the hour you spent playing with your nephew’s new dump truck.

The road to holiday contentment is simple. First, take a third or a half (or even more) of your Christmas spending budget and put it in a high yield savings account For me, this would have been a solid chunk of change in years past, but this year my Christmas budget is already far smaller than in previous years.

Then do the rest of your Christmas shopping using your remaining budget. Maybe instead of buying someone an expensive book, you can buy them a copy of one of your favorite paperbacks instead. Maybe instead of a wonderful new sweater for your sister, you can give her a ring and offer to cap spending on each other, or just buy for each other’s children. Maybe, just maybe, you can make a few presents yourself, like homemade soaps or homemade ethnic foods.

I argue that this is the best Christmas gift you can get for your loved ones - and for yourself. Why? As the holidays wear on, you’ll not have that sinking feeling of debt pulling at your ankles; instead, you’ll have money stowed away for a family emergency. As you sit around the Christmas tree with your family, you won’t have the underlying feeling of stress that you had in previous years; you’ll be happier and freer than before, and it will simply show in your personality.

If you still believe that this is Scrooge-ish, just do it for one year. Let the money sit in the account, then use it and do whatever you want next year for Christmas. You might just find that having that backup fund made things easier, lightened your spirit, and made for a very merry Christmas after all.