It’s easy to blame them.
If it wasn’t for them, I would have a good job. I would have a publishing contract. I would have more money. I would have that promotion.
If it wasn’t for them, I would have the life I dream of.
Here’s the truth: whenever you waste a second of your energy or your thought blaming them for outcomes in your life that you don’t like, you’re spending a second ensuring that things won’t get better for you.
No matter what, there are always going to be other people that affect our outcomes in life. Bosses. Doctors. Interviewers. Lawyers. Politicians. Salespeople. Marketers. Friends. Family.
Sometimes, their impact is going to be positive. Sometimes, it is going to be negative. There’s nothing you can do about that.
What you can do is make sure that if they have a positive impact, you make the most of it, and if they have a negative impact, you make the least of it.
Whenever you blame “them” and let that be reason enough for not getting what you want, you’re just increasing the impact of their negative action. You are choosing to make it bigger. You are choosing to give more power to them.
Spend your time and energy finding ways to lessen the negative impact of the actions of others. Assume that it’s going to happen sometimes no matter what you do – because it will – and do the best you can to minimize the impact.
For starters, don’t sit around feeling sorry for yourself. Yes, someone handed you a bad deal. Yes, it’s painful. But it happens to everyone sometimes. The people who find success anyway are the ones who find ways to lessen the impact of that bad deal.
Also, never, ever put all of your eggs in one basket. Don’t hinge all of your hopes and dreams on one goal. Don’t turn your world into a black and white, good and bad situation. If you put all of your hopes and dreams and plans onto the actions of someone else, you’re going to be destroyed. Often. Don’t let it happen.
Don’t apply for one job and pray for it. Apply for twenty jobs.
Don’t be satisfied with just one source of income. Build a few more by starting side businesses or part-time jobs or other pursuits.
Don’t hang your social life on just one friendship. Don’t hang your career on just one project. Don’t hang your finances on just one investment.
Eventually, a job or an income source or a friendship or a project or an investment will let you down. If you’ve allowed that one thing to become too important, it will crush you. If you’ve built others, then the impact won’t be devastating.
Finally, don’t wait until tomorrow to take action. Do it today. Tomorrow will present new challenges and new opportunities, ones that might not make space for the things you need to get done. Don’t just sit there and wait around for your ship to come in.
When you sit there burning an evening flipping through the channels, it’s an evening spent not building a new income source, not applying for a new job, not building a friendship, not working on a project.
You leave yourself with fewer things to fall back on – and when something inevitably fails you, it becomes that much more difficult to overcome.
Don’t sit around and wait. Take charge. Now.
When you do, you won’t have to blame them any more.