The Stress of Buying a Home

As we progress through this home-buying experience (we’ve looked at tons of homes, found the right one, and are about to submit an offer), we’ve found out how truly stressful it is. Added into this is the fact that my wife is pregnant and we will be having our second child not long after moving and the recipe is enough to drive us crazy.

Here are the five things we’ve found most stressful:

Not knowing what to do My wife arranged for a friend of ours to be our agent to guide us through the process, but he lives almost 100 miles away, and thus we’ve largely been finding and viewing homes entirely on our own and learning many things that should have been very basic along the way.

Minor cost after minor cost We keep stumbling into more and more expenses along the way. For example, my wife and I had never even heard of the concept of earnest money until last night, so now we are planning for that, too, which means shifting money into our checking account earlier than expected.

Figuring out realistic expectations During this entire process, our concept of what we should be doing and what we should be looking for has changed many, many times, to the point where we now realize we were stumbling around in darkness at the start of the process.

Waiting Waiting on people and paperwork and so on, wondering if/when the phone will ring, repeatedly calling people and so on is a drain.

All on top of normal life All of this is going on while normal life is continuing, with both of us working full time (and me maintaining this blog) and raising an eighteen month old child, too.

Luckily, we’ve found some ways of coping:

We’re taking a short trip next weekend. It’s graduation-related, but we will be able to get away and do something else entirely for a couple of days at least. If the offer is accepted (or at least not rejected), we will probably show off some video of the house (we took some on our digital camera), but other than that, we hope to just forget about it for a few days.

We talk about every feeling we’re having. If one of us is frustrated, it’s voiced; if one of us is happy, it’s voiced. Talking about the mix of emotions in detail has really helped both of us.

We get plenty of sleep. I’ve been sleeping a bit more than usual lately and the end result is I feel better right now. I think with my “normal” hours that I keep, I would get completely worn out.

We make sure to still eat at home. Seriously, for me eating supper at home at the dining room table with my wife and son is the least stressful part of a day, and maintaining that has been very important. It’s been early some nights and late other nights, but we’ve not missed it yet.

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