Updated on 09.15.14

Young Children, Allowances, and Financial Focus

Trent Hamm

For us, 2010 was a year of learning for both the parents and the children in our household about what allowance means, how it works, and what kinds of money lessons our children are learning.

Let’s roll back the clock to November 2009, when our children each received piggy banks and the allowance adventure got underway:

Boy and piggy bank
Our son received a Money Savvy Pig for his birthday, which has four slots to designate savings of various kinds. The bank featured a “spend” slot (you can spend that on whatever you want), a “save” slot (you’re saving up for a larger item), a “donate” slote (you’re donating that money to a charity), and an “invest” slot (you’re going to invest that in the future).

Girl and piggy bank
In order to minimize sibling rivalry, we gave his younger sister a single-slot piggy bank.

We decided to try a weekly allowance for each child, giving them each two quarters for each year of age they were. For the older son, we made a requirement that at least one quarter of his allowance had to go into each slot. The allowance was not tied directly to chores, but we occasionally gave them both opportunities to earn a few extra quarters through helping with chores that were above and beyond the usual household expectations for them.

Giving Our Children an Allowance: Lessons Learned After One Year

The younger one is a saver!

Each week, our daughter would put her quarters into her bank and then put it back in the cabinet. We allowed her to decide when and how to spend the money inside, but almost without fail, she never wanted to spend it on anything. She likes that her bank is getting heavy. She has only used her allowance twice, both times on individual large toys, and neither time did it empty her bank. She doesn’t have any specific savings goals for the future at this point and seems to mostly enjoy having lots of quarters in her heavy bank, even though she understands she can use them for things that she wants.

The older one often lost focus on savings goals

Our son has no problem with the actual saving process. His problem is that he gets heavily into saving for specific goals, but by the time his savings starts to approach a goal, his interests have changed and he ends up having a new target for his savings. Thus, when he actually reaches a goal, it’s usually for an item that he’s just recently decided on.

He typically does not use his “spend” slot for small things, as he prefers to be patient and use it as part of his “savings” slot. He has expressed a desire to give the money in his “donate” slot to Jump for Joel, but that hasn’t occurred yet. The “invest” slot is going to eventually turn into a savings account at our local bank, perhaps around his sixth birthday.

Not using the allowance as a form of punishment or leverage has worked well

We want to establish that the basic things we expect from them around the house, like clearing the table after meals, basic politeness, and so on, are not tied to any form of compensation. Such basic behavior is expected. Their allowance is merely a tool to teach simple money management. Our children seem to respond better when there are not bribes involved – bribery works well the first time, but after that, would you really expect them to do that thing you want them to do without compensation?

The children anticipate allowance day

Typically, allowances are doled out on a Sunday, and both of our children anticipate it and request it. They’ll often ask on Saturday if that day is “allowance day” and an allowance request is usually out there by noon on Sunday. It doesn’t seem to be a money-grabbing thing; I think they just have fun putting the coins in their bank and then lifting them up to feel how heavy they are.

Our oldest child is starting to understand prices and what they mean

This not only builds on his allowance, but upon many of our discussions when shopping. He now understands that things have different prices and different costs. You have to spend more of yourself in order to acquire a more expensive item. Spend more of yourself? When you spend money, you’re really spending time and energy. In my son’s case, it’s time.

He doesn’t always ask how much it will cost; he often asks how many weeks he will have to save to pay for the item. He already has a basic understanding that money represents your invested time and effort. Money is simply a piece of paper that says I’ve invested a certain amount of time and energy in this. Deeply understanding that changes your relationship with money. It makes the money less abstract than before and much more real. It makes debt more frightening and good choices more appealing. Invested money, which earns interest, seems almost miraculous.

These are exactly the lessons we want them to learn from this allowance experiment. These are small, early steps, but they’re all signs that they’re heading down the right road, one that will put them in a place where they won’t repeat the money mistakes of their father.

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  1. Leah says:

    Awesome! I’m glad you give your daughter an allowance too. And I really like that the allowance isn’t tied to anything — that’s how it worked in my house too, and I think I was more likely to do chores. Some of my friends would blow off chores they didn’t want to do, as giving up the money gave them the out. In my house, you just did chores because you did.

  2. Jules says:

    Your kids are so cute.

    And it’s nice to see how things are working out for your kids.

  3. Joe says:

    Won’t they start asking for allowances for every new thing or extra nice you ask them to do? Kind of like bargain for more coins?

    What if kids refuse to do chores? They still get allowance?

    Isn’t it sort of teaching kids to work for money instead of help because they want to/should?

  4. sewingirl says:

    Congratulations! Our 4 kids got an allowance for “whatever” the only constriction being, no snack food unless you share. We didn’t pay for chores, you did those because “we all live here together.” We didn’t pay for good grades on the report card, you got good grades because it made you a better, smarter person. If you never take your kids out to a restraunt, they don’t know how to act there. If they never have money to spend, they never learn how to make good choices with money! Good Job!

  5. Wesley says:

    Yeah I never really understood the money for chores thing. As my father would say (and did, many times) “Ya eat, don’t ya?”

    We never really got an allowance when I was a kid, but at the time money was VERY tight for my family so that is understandable.

  6. I love this post! I got a son and a daughter and im gonna implement this at home. Thank you for sharing this and more power to you! God bless you and your family!


  7. Brad says:

    When our children reached junior high, we set them up with debit cards and starting sending them some of my paycheck to them via direct deposit. My payday became their payday. I said that they had to manage their own money. No more nickel and diming mom and dad. I think the experience has made them much more responsible.

  8. Chris says:

    We just started with an allowance for our kids last week. A lot of debate has gone into this but really we want the same thing you do, to give them experience with and to teach them about money.

    Currently our kids have no concept of what things cost and how long it takes to pay for them, so that is a goal there to help them learn more about those.

    They are very excited about allowance and definitely mark around the house with their little banks for hours on end.

    The next step is to help them see that the banks aren’t toys but rather something to be careful with…

  9. Caleb Wojcik says:

    I received an allowance as a child until I got my first job and earned my own money. I think that giving children an allowance is an important first step toward them learning about money. It was better for me to learn some money mistakes when I have $10 than when I have thousands as an adult. I would recommend that all parents implement an allowance for their children when they are old enough.

  10. Amy B. says:

    Trent- Thanks for the follow-up post. I just had the first piggy-bank-emptying event for my now 5-year old. I hope that she learned that good things can come from waiting~!

  11. leslie says:

    I have been doing allowance with my children for a couple of years now. It isn’t really tied to chores at all here either although they can earn money above and beyond their allowance occasionally for additional work (helping mulch in the spring, rake leaves in the fall etc.). I found that I was forgetting to give it to them every week so we instituted a rule that they needed to remember it and ask for it or it was forfeited for that week (otherwise I ended up owing them for weeks at a time). They still forget about it close to half the time. I need to come up with a better system for this…ideas would be appreciated…

  12. lurker carl says:

    If money is handed out automatically every week, where does the child invest effort to understand that relationship with money? Time, yes, waiting to save enough quarters to purchase something. Effort on the child’s part seems minimal.

  13. lurker carl says:

    Leslie – write it on the calendar where the kids can see it.

  14. Johanna says:

    @lurker carl: If food is served automatically several times every day, with minimal or no effort on the child’s part, where does the child learn that it takes effort to shop for food and prepare it?

    The answer, obviously, is that they learn these things when they’re older. Why does every lesson have to be learned at the same time?

  15. Julie says:

    We didn’t give our children an allowance, nor did we pay for routine chores. We did pay for chores that were above and beyond their regular required duties, and those chores were age appropriate and regularly available if they needed spending money. We didn’t provide lunch money in excess of enough to buy one lunch per week at school starting in the 7th grade. We did not pay for good grades but celebrated good grades with a dinner out at a favorite (affordable) restaurant and we have never had a child receive a report card that was worse than all A’s and one B.

    My point is, I don’t think it is necessary to give children any money on a routine basis unless they are doing something above and beyond the ordinary to earn it. If they don’t want to do the extra work to earn some spending money, then that is their choice. Nobody is going to give them money for doing nothing when they are older (except the US government), so why start them off with that mentality now?

    My children are 18, 16 and 11 and they are all much better with money than I was at their age…and I received an allowance. My children also know that our motivation was not because we could not afford to give them money as my husband and I are both working professionals. Our motivation was to teach them that if they want something in life, they are going to have to work for it. I couldn’t be more pleased (thus far) with the outcome.

  16. Julie says:

    Johanna…I think there is a difference between teaching your kids all of their lessons at once and teaching them something that you will have to “unteach” later. That is why we chose never to give our kids an allowance. We didn’t want them ever to expect money for simply “existing.” I belive it is more difficult to stop handing out the money at a later date (teenagers) when you have been doing it for so long. Birthdays and Christmas come along often enough and help give the parent an excuse to purchase a few of the kids long wished for special items. Holidays also provide an apportunity for the kids to recieve a little extra cash as gifts to help hold them over for a few more wants.

  17. Katie says:

    And by providing my children with free food three times a day and a free place to live, I’m teaching them unrealistic lessons about how one obtains food and shelter. First thing tomorrow morning, I’m shipping them off to the mines!

    Really, the fact is, adults provide things for children in their care. Providing children with an allowance generally just shifts some of those expenses (usually discretionary ones, although when I got older I got a modest clothing allowance out of which I was expected to purchase necessary clothing items, and I was also responsible for things like a bus pass) onto the child as a way of teaching money management. Yes, you can teach an alternative lesson by having the children work for those discretionary expenses. There are reasons to do that (responsibility! hard work!) and reasons not to (child can opt out and do no work, child won’t have as much time to focus on school work, which many families consider the child’s “job”). Which reasons are more compelling probably varies by child and family; I don’t think there’s a hard-line rule.

  18. Johanna says:

    @Julie: What Katie said.

    And: Do you think children are really so stupid that they’re not going to realize that even though they get an allowance now, they’re going to have to work for a living when they grow up?

  19. June says:

    Im with Katie on this one. My children received an allowance from preschool onward. Yes, they still got an allownce in jr high and highschool. It did not meet all of their wants, it did meet their needs and was paid on a monthly basis. Both are hardworking kids. Something I have not seen menitioned her is the alloance elminates both the need for daily decisions and the need for those of us who dont like cash to carry it. Need a buck for scout dues? It was included in your allowance.

  20. Sara says:

    I think giving kids experience managing money is absolutely an invaluable experience for them. We learn the hard money lessons through experience, and being able to develop a healthy relationship with your finances at such a young age is going to save them a lot of heartache later when the mistakes are much bigger.
    I also feel that rewarding children financially for their behavior takes away the intrinsic motivation to do things. I want my son to understand why it is beneficial to keep his room clean and want to keep it clean for these reasons – not because he wants me to see that it’s clean and reward him with a few bucks. If he has his own reasons for doing things, then I don’t have to constantly supervise, and scold, and reward – things I can’t do when he is an adult and living on his own.

  21. Fawn says:

    I used to think that allowance should be earned. But after reading your post, you did make some great points. (How are you going to expect them to do chores for free later, they will always expect compensation.) And I also believe that they should help out around the house because it is a joint effort and they live there too, not because they are getting paid to.

    Thanks Trent!! :D

  22. megan says:

    I’m a little embarrassed to admit I never thought of the fact that if you connect basic chores to allowance, you give the kid the option of deciding they dont really want to do it because theyre ok with not getting the allowance. Lightbulb on!

    Trent, do you use any kind of chore chart with your kiddos?

  23. Daria says:

    I think that your allowance system is awesome.We did the same with our children who are now 28, 25, 23 and 22. All of them have no debt, except the 25 yr old has a mortgage, very good savings, Roth IRA’s started when they turned 14 and each of them started working at Chick-Fil-A, 401Ks as adults and they all have a very good work ethic. When one found a good job, the employer was thrilled to hire their siblings. When our children had jobs, we never allowed them to be no shows if something better came up and they couldn’t trade shifts. We never lied that they were sick. They saw a lot of parents allow that and they resented the extra work that was put on them because someone was a no show for the wrong reason. As far as being worried that your children will have unrealistic expectations, we did not pay for every activity that our children wanted to do but made them choose among several activities. Did they want a birthday party as their present or a family birthday with a larger gift? Did they want to go on the class trip or the church youth group activity? They had to make choices in order to learn priorities because my husband and I can’t do everything we want and we have to set priorities. Sometimes those choices caused hard questions from other parents such as a child choosing not to go on a class trip because the youth group activity was more appealing or staying home to go to the office and lunch with Dad because they had been to NASA before and thought it boring. We had to deal with parents thinking we were poor and wanting to offer to pay so our child wouldn’t be “left out”. What they had a hard time understanding was the child was happy with their choice. If it was opting out of a school activity, we always got approval from the teacher and they usually had to do a substitute assignment.

  24. Adam P says:

    Hmm, I would say they get a meager allowance and a set of expected chores they will do, but they are untied.

    Then allow them to make extra money by doing extra jobs that are not expected and one off. That seems to be a reasonable compromise on the issue of tying work to pay?

    Although, I think kids would have to be a little older than Trent’s adorable tots for this to work in practice.

  25. Julie says:


    No, I don’t think that children are stupid at all. That is why I didn’t treat mine as though they were stupid by giving them 4 quarters and then forcing them to put one into each little slot. Who is really in control here? The only decision the kid makes is “Do I want 3 little junky toys now, or one big junky toy later?” I would prefer that my kids not focus on the stuff that they want. Quite frankly, it seems that this is somewhat stupid behaviour on the parent’s part…ENCOURAGING a 3 or 5 year old to be thinking…focusing…dwelling… on what he wants??

    Considering the entitlement mentality that currently exists in this country, I find the remainder of your question quite funny. I can count on one hand the number of high school seniors that I know that have a part time job, and I know quite a few young adults in their 20’s that are still floundering. Kids seem to be growing up more and more slowly and depending financially on their parents longer and longer.

    Obviously I can’t say that there is a direct link between an allowance and the entitlement mentality in this country, but I can say that I see a lot of my friends who used to give allowances to teach their children financial responsibility are now also opening up their wallets to provide their teens and young adults with much more than they really need (I-phones, designer clothes, cars, gas, insurance, etc.) And yet their nearly adult children are still given an “allowance”…albeit a much larger one…so they can learn to be responsible with money….? I don’t get it. They aren’t learning how to be responsible with money. They are being taught how to spend. They are learning to “priortize wants.” Why not teach them to “NOT WANT and to BE SATISFIED.”

    As Trent mentioned in this post, it is amazing how fast the savings account grows when you stop wanting “things” at all and become content with what you have. Each of my kids has a substantial amount of money in the bank for their age. And my teenage children also have the financial ability to give to others, who truly have needs.

    So, this was my method and I shared it because so far I am extremly pleased with the outcome and I thought other young parents might be interested. Some of our ideas came from Amy Dacyzyn and the Tightwad Gazette. If it doesn’t work for you…so be it. However I believe many people need to completely re-think the concept of an allowance for children. Obviously the generations don’t seem to be getting any better at handling money. Allowances are a fairly new idea. Researching he origin of the allowance on the internet is also interesting. Much of what I read was somewhat troublesome. (“progressive movement aimed at redistribution of family wealth as an entitlement for children”)

    Finally, I just found out last month that my 18 year old has “earned” a free ride through college completely on his own merit. He wasn’t expecting me to pay for it, even though he knows we could. Mock me all you want…but you can’t mock our outcome.

  26. Julie says:

    Sorry…it was the post before this one where Trent talks about how little he expects to spend on himself in 2011.

  27. Julie says:


    I admire your approach and your success. If we had opted for allowances, we would have followed the same method you did. Congratulations on a job well done! I appreciate hearing from those at the end of the journey who were successful.

  28. Marianne says:

    Typically, allowances are doled out on a Sunday, and both of our children anticipate it and request it.

    That is why we called it Sunday money at home. :)

  29. Janet says:

    We give our boys (8 and 10) a $5.00 allowance every two weeks when their Dad gets paid. They must put $1.00 into long term savings and the rest is their’s to do with what they want. They both wanted a DS game system so they had to save for it. They were so proud because they were able to save for it and they told everyone what they did. Their allowance is not tied to any chores (their Dad says that is part of being in a family that we all work together) but I do deduct 25 cents if they throw their dirty clothes on the floor (the hamper is an open bucket right in their bedroom) and $1.00 if it is clean clothes that they have dumped on the floor (I figure my extra time having to rewash and refold should be worth something).

  30. Heather says:

    @ Leslie, when I was researching allowances for my son, I ran across something from one father who had the same problem so he decided to do a “checking account” which was basically a ledger system – because he was always forgetting to pay them too. On allowance day, he (or the kids) would write in the amount of the allowance into the allowance. They could also earn extra for various chores and the amount logged. When the kids wanted to spend their money, they would write a check (from blanks he made on the printer) to get cash from Mom or Dad. I thought it was a brilliant solution to that problem. I wish I could remember the source to cite!

    We found the book “Raising Financially Fit Kids” by Joline Godfrey that Trent reviewed to be very useful when we were trying to figure out how to start teaching our son how to handle money. All we knew was that we wanted to start early because it was going to be a long slow haul to build a strong foundation to last him for life. I was a bit overwhelmed at the idea, but breaking everything down into smaller digestible concepts that were age appropriate was very helpful.

  31. Robert says:

    For the “invest” slot, does this money actually gain interest?

  32. Mark Gavagan says:

    David Owen wrote a SPECTACULAR book on the topic of raising money-smart kids: The First National Bank of Dad.

    In fact, I have an extra new paperback copy (I bought a bunch and gave them to friends & family) and would be happy to send it free to any Simple Dollar reader Trent chooses, or directly or to Trent, so he can send it to the reader he selects.

  33. Wesley says:

    I think some people here are drawing a direct correlation between the allowance given or not given and the child’s spending habits later in life (or in their entitlement mentality).

    I would say that any parent out there has a 100 times greater effect on their child’s spending habits later in life strictly from what they say or do on a regular basis. An allowance, if a reasonable amount, has much less effect be it either positive or negative.

  34. Julie G says:

    We have 4 kids- ages 10 – 17. 3 of them get an allowance, and we have always given allowances. We share the family money, because we share everything else in the family. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have money either, since I am a stay-at-home mom and don’t produce income. We want our kids to take the view that they are part of the family and share in the benefits and work. We don’t have “chores”, but everyone has an “area of responsibility” and manages whatever that entails. My oldest dd does the laundry for all of us, and has for several years. My son maintains our firewood and keeps the floors vacuumed (among other things), my 10yo keeps the bathrooms cleaned. (We use natural, safe cleaners) My 13yo keeps the kitchen clean and pantry organized. They have learned so much about what it takes to run a home by digging in more deeply than just “chores”. They are responsible to think about how to be more effecient, and to make sure we don’t run out of supplies they need, and now they often help me make decisions about products they use. Now I have the privledge of having time to help them, when they feel overloaded, instead of always being overloaded myself. We homeschool, so they have enough time to do these things.

    At this stage in the game, we give allowances monthly (easier for me to remember on the first of the month, instead of every week), to help our kids learn to budget. I direct deposit allowances into my kids’ bank accounts. The teens have debit cards, which they have learned to manage. My youngers get part in cash, and part in their savings account – but they decide how much goes to each place. When my oldest dd got a part time job, she told me she didn’t need the allowance anymore, so we discontinued hers. We don’t tell anyone what they can or can’t do with their money. All of mine have good sized savings accounts. They are all givers when they see a need. I try to keep them aware of opportunities to give, without insisting they give. We also volunteer at a charity-based thrift store. I am often surprised by their generosity.

    Others often comment about how helpful and responsible my kids are. I really think it is because we’ve always had a tone in this house that we all work together and we all share. I hope this will carry over into their work lives – they are team players and diligent workers – and into their families, with their own children.

  35. Interested Reader says:

    Julie – you don’t want anyone to mock the way you raised your kids but it’s okay for to insult and trash the way other people (like Daria) have successfully raised their kids to be money savvy?

  36. Interested Reader says:

    That should be “for you to”

  37. Paula says:

    We have virtually solved the issue of the oldest boy trying to save for something then suddenly changing his mind, then regretting the change after the purchase: he keeps a wish list, which has rules. #1, only one item per day can be added to the list, and it must be added to the end of the list; #2, only 5 items can be on the list at any time; #3, write the price of the item beside it on the list, and save for it; when you have saved the required sum, you can purchase the item, or choose to wait, or decide not to make the purchase at all – nothing says you *have* to spend your money!; #4 if you decide you want the 2nd item on the list (or 3rd, or 4th, or 5th) instead of the 1st, you must remove each item from the list in front of the item you want, and you cannot put those items back, today, or all at once; the previous rule applies that only one item per day can be added. This seems to make our oldest son really think about what he’s buying, rather than making impulse purchases. My husband and I also keep such a list, with small items (under $20) for each of us, and a single list of larger items.

  38. Julie says:

    Interested Reader….Is that a joke???? Wow!!! My comment to Daria was 100% sincere. The proof is in the pudding. She raised 4 great kids that are good with money. She is the one who she be writing an advice blog. I can tell by reading what she wrote the we both have many similar ideas about money in general. The allowance part of it is a very small piece of the total puzzle.

  39. Johanna says:

    @Julie: You misunderstand me. I’m not mocking your choice to not give an allowance. If that approach works for you and your kids, that’s great. What I’m mocking is the absurd notion that parents who *do* give an allowance are somehow teaching their kids that they don’t ever have to work for a living.

    Kudos to your 18-year-old for getting a scholarship. I got a scholarship too, and my parents gave me an allowance as a kid. So I don’t know what you’re trying to prove with that.

  40. Julie says:

    PS to Interested Reader. I don’t mind being mocked at all…although I said nothing to deserve being mocked by Johanna. Perhaps you should be scolding her.

  41. Interested Reader says:

    First, there was overlap in our comments. My comment was refering to your response to Johanna and I wrote it BEFORE I saw your comment directly to Daria.

    I used Daria as an example because she said she used the same method as Trent – a method you are heavily critizing and linking to kids and young adults turning out to be entitled and lazy.

  42. MattJ says:

    I received no allowance as a child. I worked for my stepfather’s business starting around age 8 (he builds homes, and would pay me by the hour for clean-up and other tasks for which I was capable) and I could earn money around the house with cleaning tasks that were above and beyond my normal required chores.

    As far as I can remember, there were no rules for me regarding what I spent my money on, nor any rules about giving anything to charity, nor about savings or gifts. The money I earned was mine to do with as I pleased, assuming I wasn’t breaking some other rule.

    The only exception (bizarrely) I can remember is that my stepfather responded to my plan at 14 years old to start saving for a car to tell me that I shouldn’t bother, as I would not be permitted a car until I turned 18 in any case. That pronouncement didn’t last, he actively helped me save for a car the summer before I turned 17.

  43. Cassie says:

    I like your two quarters a year approach to the allowance, though I’m a little concerned about the different piggy bank approach. Your son is learning to put money towards spending, saving, investing and donating, but your daughter is only learning to save. I understand you’re trying to minimize sibling rivalry, but how will you teach her the same lessons as you’re teaching your son?

  44. Angela says:

    Great job. It’s so important for kids to learn how to handle money when they’re young.

  45. Mel says:

    @Cassie – I’m guessing it’s because of age, and maybe for his daughter’s birthday at the same age she’ll get a dividid piggy too.

  46. Mark Gavagan says:

    @ Julie G
    A monthly allowance versus weekly seems like it would have the benefit of teaching kids to plan and manage money over an extended period of time – smart!

  47. Evita says:

    Trent, thank you for reporting on this very interesting experiment. I am just curious….
    Right now, your son MUST put some money in each slot.
    At what age will your children have full control of their allowance ?

  48. Trent, always great to hear stories of parents taking the time to explicitly teach their kids practical life skills. Cool that your system is working so well with your kids. It will be interesting to read about how your approach evolves with each personality and each stage of maturation. Kudos to you and happy new year. -Bill

  49. AniVee says:

    #23 Daria – I agree with you completely! Great kids!

    Trent, I’m behind you 1000% – My parents did very similar methods and it made it very easy for me to acquire security AND personal independence on my own very early in life. I retired at 49 and have zero debt.

    We got a small allowance that covered our obligations and dues, and a small amount to spend as we wished but were required to save some.

    We had to do our chores (no choice – “because you live in this house and are a part of this family”), we behaved well (“because you are a reflection on this family”) or lived to regret it.

    There were plenty of “extra jobs you can do to earn more money if you need it.” (no handouts). However, we could borrow against 2-3 weeks future allowances, but we HAD to pay it back, NO AMNESTY.

    We did get some small amounts of Christmas Money from elderly relatives but HAD to give 10% to a charity of our choice and HAD to save some of the rest.

    Perhaps it’s not the only method that works, but it sure does work! I am astounded that anyone could think that giving an allowance and expecting help around the house could give “an attitude of entitlement.” The “entitlement” mentality comes from “Ma, gimme $10” – and getting it!

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